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panther123321

panther123321

New Member
May 9, 2018
2
Have they released the details yet?
 
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ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
133
Bloodloss due to slit wrists, says google/wiki.
 
I

I will go soon

Member
Apr 9, 2018
62
Slit himself with shards from a broken bottle I believe. Not entirely sure.
 
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SleepItOff

SleepItOff

Would that I could
May 5, 2018
40
It kind of breaks my heart that this is the way he went; with his wealth, he could easily have afforded a method that would be swift and painless. But I suppose he had his reasons, and it's not for us to try and understand.
 
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ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
133
It kind of breaks my heart that this is the way he went; with his wealth, he could easily have afforded a method that would be swift and painless. But I suppose he had his reasons, and it's not for us to try and understand.

Maybe in his mind he wanted to leave as he lived, painfully. Ive had a few friends say that if they had to CTB, theyd fall on a sword, or shoot themselves in the stomach, to relish in the pain.
 
SleepItOff

SleepItOff

Would that I could
May 5, 2018
40
Maybe in his mind he wanted to leave as he lived, painfully. Ive had a few friends say that if they had to CTB, theyd fall on a sword, or shoot themselves in the stomach, to relish in the pain.
I can't personally imagine wanting to go about it like that, but I suppose it would make sense for somebody wanting to make a statement
 
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El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
477
Maybe in his mind he wanted to leave as he lived, painfully. Ive had a few friends say that if they had to CTB, theyd fall on a sword, or shoot themselves in the stomach, to relish in the pain.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I have a good friend who has PTSD (he was a Marine in Iraq). He told me that if he commits suicide, he wants to do it in a violent way. I don't understand the appeal, but it's impossible to know a person's interiority.
 
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M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
835
Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I have a good friend who has PTSD (he was a Marine in Iraq). He told me that if he commits suicide, he wants to do it in a violent way. I don't understand the appeal, but it's impossible to know a person's interiority.

I get the appeal. Last time you can ever feel anything, might as well be extreme. (Although I think people forget how terrible pain can be)
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
I get the appeal of it, you have and demonstrate complete control and mastery over yourself during the process. Slicing away until you pass out is different from falling on a sword or shooting yourself in the gut, however.
 
muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,187
I also think maybe he struggled with self-hatred as well, and perhaps he wanted to punish himself by suffering as much as possible in his final moments as a way to "get back" at himself. Self-hatred can warp a person's self-perspective to extreme degrees.

I'm still a little saddened that he died in a fairly gruesome manner, but we'll never be able to know his state of mind at the time or his intentions for choosing to ctb in this way.
 
T

the_final_countdown

Specialist
Dec 29, 2020
337
I can't imagine dying that way. It seems so painful.

I once passed out after donating blood. I felt like I was going to die. It was psychologically devastating. There was so much regret and sadness then I woke up like 5 minutes later with my shirt wide open and a bunch of nurses and doctors staring at me. Felt like I had just run a marathon.
 
wait.what

wait.what

no really, what?
Aug 14, 2020
990
Some immature part of me is in awe of the brutality of his method. Slashing your wrists with shards from a broken bottle? Jesus Christ. That's like an animal chewing it's own foot off to escape a trap. It shows pure, single-minded determination as a repudiation of life. It makes a hell of a statement.

I sort of feel like the Deathklok guys, standing around saying, "That ... is soooooo ... METAL!" Which it is. Dumb to have that reaction to it, but there you are.
 
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notreallynow

notreallynow

Member
Oct 21, 2020
56
I get the appeal of it, you have and demonstrate complete control and mastery over yourself during the process. Slicing away until you pass out is different from falling on a sword or shooting yourself in the gut, however.
It's not really so much control and mastery, it's more like the very opposite, if you are drunk (and being a severe alcoholic he could drink far far more than most people could without passing out) it just comes as an impulse. I started self harming out of nowhere the first time I got drunk. I had like 2 shots and a kitchen knife suddenly looked like the most pretty thing on earth. Your skin feels like absolutely nothing, you have the sense you are painting, or watching a surreal music video, none of it feels real.
I don't know why only some people are like this. It's not all to do with being depressed. My theory is, some people - eg BPD, severe ADHD - who already have a weak emotional 'filter' can easily become overwhelmed by emotion to the point where other things - like self preservation are at least temporarily drowned out. They are already a little naturally 'drunk', have less internal emotional inhibition, so the alcohol has a kind of volatile effect. The intense self loathing which has to be repressed constantly is only a thread away from crashing down, at any point, so when it does, it manifests in a physically violent way.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
It's not really so much control and mastery, it's more like the very opposite, if you are drunk (and being a severe alcoholic he could drink far far more than most people could without passing out) it just comes as an impulse. I started self harming out of nowhere the first time I got drunk. I had like 2 shots and a kitchen knife suddenly looked like the most pretty thing on earth. Your skin feels like absolutely nothing, you have the sense you are painting, or watching a surreal music video, none of it feels real.
I don't know why only some people are like this. It's not all to do with being depressed. My theory is, some people - eg BPD, severe ADHD - who already have a weak emotional 'filter' can easily become overwhelmed by emotion to the point where other things - like self preservation are at least temporarily drowned out. They are already a little naturally 'drunk', have less internal emotional inhibition, so the alcohol has a kind of volatile effect. The intense self loathing which has to be repressed constantly is only a thread away from crashing down, at any point, so when it does, it manifests in a physically violent way.
I was talking about a sober suicide attempt, not drinking and self harming.
 
Last edited:
sadgirl2002

sadgirl2002

Fallen Angel
Apr 9, 2019
452
I'm sad that he died in such a painful way but I can understand why he did it. I'm currently listening to his songs, I always loved them... it makes me feel so nostalgic... sad, it reminds me of a better time. I never knew him but I do miss him :(
 

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