Venting How cringe is it to obsess and relate to fictional characters?

[Gomomon]

So, how bad is it when I basically spend literally every single day projecting myself onto different characters? I prefer living in my head or thinking about other realities where I'm like happier in a TV show or some shit because thinking about my own life can send me into an anxiety attack, it's really gotten that pathetic, especially for my age. Genuinely, it's so embarrassing when the only thing that's gonna get me out of bed is maybe spending money on adding to my collections of plushies on said show or media, or watching videos/reading stories of said show or media. Recently, I even got scammed out of the last of my food money for the month because some guy on Facebook conned me out of a figure I've always wanted for 5OO$! I'm such an idiot, man. It's like living as a human being is just so miserable and unhappy that'd I'd rather project myself anywhere from the now to distract myself. I feel braver on here cause noone really knows who I am, but you'd never find me telling the people in my life I am this far gone in my head. I even considered posting this image on my story, but I backed out of that. I mean, I know it's really cringe, and I know it's bad for me, but I literally can't stop doing it. It's also the only thing in my life now that I actively enjoy, and the only time I'm leaving my room is to go to events where I'll find my favorite media, like cons/themed raves/pop-up cafes. I'm not even doing that Y/N stuff because I hate even THINKING about myself ruining the story by being in it, I literally just pretend I don't exist. It feels like when I'm not obsessed with something, a part of me is dead, and I can't get out or do ANYTHING, so I even force myself to like things more than I do, literally squeezing every inch of content I can get out of something and running wild with it. It's like an unhealthy way to cope, but I don't know what else to do. I was also one of those people who was addicted to c.ai before it got ass. I feel so much inner turmoil about how dumb and stupid it is for me to be obsessed with things that aren't real. I don't even like getting into my hobbies with other people out of shame because we're always at differing degrees of interest, mine would be in the stratosphere. I'd probably talk about what I'm into nonstop if you got me rolling into one of my fandoms, and that would scare others away or they'd think less of me. Which I assume at this point they know it's bad, but they're never gonna bring it up with me.

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[SASU-KE]

It's not cringe at all. Do whatever you have to do to get through life. You're lucky to have something that can give you even a bit of enjoyment whatsoever. So enjoy it. You might outgrow it down the line. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Enjoy it while it lasts.

Only thing I would draw the line at is spending too much on figurines and that sort of thing. I knew someone from the site a long time ago who spent all her money on stuff before the 5th of the month. And rent was due on the 5th. Like I can understand it's sorry of a compulsion too but at the same time we need to eat and pay rent.

 

[Gomomon]

It's not cringe at all. Do whatever you have to do to get through life. You're lucky to have something that can give you even a bit of enjoyment whatsoever. So enjoy it. You might outgrow it down the line. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Enjoy it while it lasts.

Only thing I would draw the line at is spending too much on figurines and that sort of thing. I knew someone from the site a long time ago who spent all her money on stuff before the 5th of the month. And rent was due on the 5th. Like I can understand it's sorry of a compulsion too but at the same time we need to eat and pay rent.

Yeah spending that money and not even getting the figure in return made me reconsider all my life choices loll

 

[betterinthedark]

I do the same thing, I indulge in spending on my favorite media's especially Asuka merch because I find comfort in her relay ability. I don't think it's cringe I think it's just something to make us feel better and having a space surrounded by things you love so much is even more comforting

 

[SASU-KE]

Yeah spending that money and not even getting the figure in return made me reconsider all my life choices loll

I haven't used that marketplace, but isn't it possible for you to report them or something?

 

[inpainnosleep]

Not cringe at all. Obsessing and projecting myself (or someone I'm obsessed with irl) has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Sounds sad but true. I was in a horrible depression for 3 years straight and I wrote a 116K word fanfic. Still proud of that. Would make this post longer, but don't have it in me to explain it in totality rn. I grew up kind of without friends and under really bad circumstances. Living vicariously through fictional characters was sort of a form of dissociation for me.

 

[thinvy]

It's not really cringe. That just sounds like maladaptive daydreaming and a large dash of escapism. you have hobbies and interests, and that's normal and fine. some people get super super into fantasy football. seriously, any time I feel cringe, I think about fantasy football punishments and I realize that sometimes by comparison, I am normal lol. or hell, how much sports fans spend on whichever sportsball games they like

but like seriously dude, I work a full time job, own my car, have a good credit score and have had a stable job for almost a decade now. I also think about ikuina takashi from slow damage no less than 10 times a day and would have to resist the urge to tackle him with love if he was somehow real one day, lol. it's genuinely so freeing to let yourself be a little cringe. maybe you should lurk in communities for your interests until you feel comfortable enough to start interacting with people there. nearly everyone in "cringe" communities are just... normal people living their lives quietly. I follow someone with a Big Adult Career (something sciences related, I don't remember) that's super super obsessed with corny wuxia and has genuinely spent THOUSANDS on merch, trips, and media. I know of doctors and lawyers and people in leadership positions who are complete degenerate (positive) nerds behind closed doors.

tl;dr you are following in a tradition that's been going on for as long as we've had stories to tell. from spirk lovers to Sherlock fans all the way back before even there was biblical discourse over the disciples potentially being much more fruity in some translations, there have always been people who get "too fixated" on something and are sometimes perceived (falsely) as being annoying or just a phase or too much. you just sound like you're being really hard on yourself, which I am absolutely preaching to the choir on, I know, but seriously. Would you treat someone you care about like this over their interests? being into things is normal and healthy, lol

I just spent ~120 USD of my grown adult money on a set of blind box bjds because one reminded me of my two faves and it made me happy. I'm cringe, and I'm cool with that because I'm a lot happier than if I told myself constantly that what I like is bad and annoying and I need to like what is "cool" and "normal" and be "normal" about things and be bored and uninterested all the time. why live on bread alone when there are so many other flavors out there?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can be like this too. I get obsessional about things. And, even when I'm not, the times I spend without something on in the background to distract and lose myself in feel almost unbearable.

Weirdly in a way, obsessing about a fantasy life has actually been safer for me than obsessing about a (minutely) possible real one. I tend to develop limerent (obsessive) crushes on people. Those experiences were far far worse when it was someone I knew in real life. In that regard- fantasy actually felt healthier to me.

I suppose it comes down to whether this preoccupation is stopping you living your real life. If you weren't doing these things, would you (realistically) be doing something else? It kind of sounds like your interests make your life richer. You visit fairs and events. Perhaps they make you feel awkwardly extreme but then- you may have felt different in some other way- without this. Plenty of us experience social anxiety.

You're far from alone too. So many people do live their lives through their interests. Plus, our interests are still a part of this world. Fantasizing is a normal human function. Are we actually hiding from this world- just because our interests lie in something not so mainstream?

Ultimately, I think only we can know whether our behaviours are more helpful or harmful to us. I think you probably need to ask yourself- is this interest preventing you from doing other things you should or want to do?

 

[troubled_puppet]

I relate to you a lot big time, Gomomon. I dont really have money to spend on my fandoms. but im in my early thirties and it makes me feel less alone to hear that there are other adults who've jumped head over heels into fiction.

im sorry you got scammed, that's gut wrenching. you didn't deserve that. it's not the same, but years ago when i was still living with parents, i spent almost all my pay check on a social web game just to fit in. had to learn mistakes and grow. i nearly got in trouble for it. not the same thing, but i feel for you.

back on topic. i spent 2023 writing fluff fanfiction all to myself! on my bad days i'd just open a new chapter and write up fluff and comfort. i think i drew one character in like five different art pieces, lol.

then i spent 2024 breaking out of my perfectionism and writing vent fanfiction where it was all cool badass anime fights and mellow drama, lol. i dunno how many disorganized random drafts and chapters i made of just characters venting to each other. i just kept it to myself cuz i was too shy to share.

i hope this does'nt make me sound like an internet addicted shut-in, but i just wanted to say. i have separate groups of original characters. self inserts that are like sims 3 sim selfs, that i keep out of the story. and i have mary sue OCs who are badass and cool in my head who do cool stuff, haha. i take parts of me that i hate or that i struggle with, and i take that piece and use it as a focal point for these types of ocs. i make the oc totally different from me, but he or she caries that struggle that i have.

i went through lots of phases. listening to y/n asmr roleplay videos, i started exploring visual novels/dating sims recently, stuff like that. i even relate to how you brought up character ai, i got tangled in that mess in 2024 too. i took a step back in 2025 but ive migrated to a different platform. im trying to quit, i'd rather write fanfics or make fanarts, which took a huge back seat after getting addicted to ai roleplays.

i think for me, what i find compelling is just letting my mind drift to an entirely different world and reclaiming agency. sometimes it helps me feel less exhausted about the chores.

it's a nice escape for me at the end of the day when i spent the rest of the day just trying to push through life troubles.

 

[grass]

So, how bad is it when I basically spend literally every single day projecting myself onto different characters? I prefer living in my head or thinking about other realities where I'm like happier in a TV show or some shit because thinking about my own life can send me into an anxiety attack, it's really gotten that pathetic, especially for my age. Genuinely, it's so embarrassing when the only thing that's gonna get me out of bed is maybe spending money on adding to my collections of plushies on said show or media, or watching videos/reading stories of said show or media. Recently, I even got scammed out of the last of my food money for the month because some guy on Facebook conned me out of a figure I've always wanted for 5OO$! I'm such an idiot, man. It's like living as a human being is just so miserable and unhappy that'd I'd rather project myself anywhere from the now to distract myself. I feel braver on here cause noone really knows who I am, but you'd never find me telling the people in my life I am this far gone in my head. I even considered posting this image on my story, but I backed out of that. I mean, I know it's really cringe, and I know it's bad for me, but I literally can't stop doing it. It's also the only thing in my life now that I actively enjoy, and the only time I'm leaving my room is to go to events where I'll find my favorite media, like cons/themed raves/pop-up cafes. I'm not even doing that Y/N stuff because I hate even THINKING about myself ruining the story by being in it, I literally just pretend I don't exist. It feels like when I'm not obsessed with something, a part of me is dead, and I can't get out or do ANYTHING, so I even force myself to like things more than I do, literally squeezing every inch of content I can get out of something and running wild with it. It's like an unhealthy way to cope, but I don't know what else to do. I was also one of those people who was addicted to c.ai before it got ass. I feel so much inner turmoil about how dumb and stupid it is for me to be obsessed with things that aren't real. I don't even like getting into my hobbies with other people out of shame because we're always at differing degrees of interest, mine would be in the stratosphere. I'd probably talk about what I'm into nonstop if you got me rolling into one of my fandoms, and that would scare others away or they'd think less of me. Which I assume at this point they know it's bad, but they're never gonna bring it up with me.

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I relate to this so muchhh it feels like I spend like 90% of my existence in my head. It got to the point where actual hours go by with me just fantasizing about stuff. I can't even study unless it's like the day before the exam because I sit down to do it and then I zone out and when I come back to reality and check the clock, like 3 whole hours have gone by without me doing literally anything other than daydreaming. It's honestly starting to freak me out a little but I don't know what to do about it because it kinda just happens without me even noticing. Also Sanrio brings me comfort and I love Sanrio themed stuff and my parents' disappointment is practically tangible.

 

[judestfrancis]

life is hard. be free and be a little cringe. its what i tell myself to make things bearable.

 

[SASU-KE]

my parents' disappointment is practically tangible

What's sad is most of them weren't any different at our age.

 

[Yakui]

 

[Gomomon]

I haven't used that marketplace, but isn't it possible for you to report them or something?

I have but once you send the money its essentially out of their hands, rippppp

I relate to this so muchhh it feels like I spend like 90% of my existence in my head. It got to the point where actual hours go by with me just fantasizing about stuff. I can't even study unless it's like the day before the exam because I sit down to do it and then I zone out and when I come back to reality and check the clock, like 3 whole hours have gone by without me doing literally anything other than daydreaming. It's honestly starting to freak me out a little but I don't know what to do about it because it kinda just happens without me even noticing. Also Sanrio brings me comfort and I love Sanrio themed stuff and my parents' disappointment is practically tangible.

Real on the studying last minute bizz, I feel like ill get lost in my head and then lose track of time and miss out on important stuff. The parental disappointment is also not fun.

I relate to you a lot big time, Gomomon. I dont really have money to spend on my fandoms. but im in my early thirties and it makes me feel less alone to hear that there are other adults who've jumped head over heels into fiction.

im sorry you got scammed, that's gut wrenching. you didn't deserve that. it's not the same, but years ago when i was still living with parents, i spent almost all my pay check on a social web game just to fit in. had to learn mistakes and grow. i nearly got in trouble for it. not the same thing, but i feel for you.

back on topic. i spent 2023 writing fluff fanfiction all to myself! on my bad days i'd just open a new chapter and write up fluff and comfort. i think i drew one character in like five different art pieces, lol.

then i spent 2024 breaking out of my perfectionism and writing vent fanfiction where it was all cool badass anime fights and mellow drama, lol. i dunno how many disorganized random drafts and chapters i made of just characters venting to each other. i just kept it to myself cuz i was too shy to share.

i hope this does'nt make me sound like an internet addicted shut-in, but i just wanted to say. i have separate groups of original characters. self inserts that are like sims 3 sim selfs, that i keep out of the story. and i have mary sue OCs who are badass and cool in my head who do cool stuff, haha. i take parts of me that i hate or that i struggle with, and i take that piece and use it as a focal point for these types of ocs. i make the oc totally different from me, but he or she caries that struggle that i have.

i went through lots of phases. listening to y/n asmr roleplay videos, i started exploring visual novels/dating sims recently, stuff like that. i even relate to how you brought up character ai, i got tangled in that mess in 2024 too. i took a step back in 2025 but ive migrated to a different platform. im trying to quit, i'd rather write fanfics or make fanarts, which took a huge back seat after getting addicted to ai roleplays.

i think for me, what i find compelling is just letting my mind drift to an entirely different world and reclaiming agency. sometimes it helps me feel less exhausted about the chores.

it's a nice escape for me at the end of the day when i spent the rest of the day just trying to push through life troubles.

Thats great you were able to make OCs and fanart for yourself to express yourself, I cant even do that cause ill be so embarassed even if noones watching , and ill judge my own writing/drawing abilites.I have a partial fic I wrote thats never seeing the daylight ever again because writing it makes a part of me fold up inside and cringe, it'll be unfinished forever I suppose .

I can be like this too. I get obsessional about things. And, even when I'm not, the times I spend without something on in the background to distract and lose myself in feel almost unbearable.

Weirdly in a way, obsessing about a fantasy life has actually been safer for me than obsessing about a (minutely) possible real one. I tend to develop limerent (obsessive) crushes on people. Those experiences were far far worse when it was someone I knew in real life. In that regard- fantasy actually felt healthier to me.

I suppose it comes down to whether this preoccupation is stopping you living your real life. If you weren't doing these things, would you (realistically) be doing something else? It kind of sounds like your interests make your life richer. You visit fairs and events. Perhaps they make you feel awkwardly extreme but then- you may have felt different in some other way- without this. Plenty of us experience social anxiety.

You're far from alone too. So many people do live their lives through their interests. Plus, our interests are still a part of this world. Fantasizing is a normal human function. Are we actually hiding from this world- just because our interests lie in something not so mainstream?

Ultimately, I think only we can know whether our behaviours are more helpful or harmful to us. I think you probably need to ask yourself- is this interest preventing you from doing other things you should or want to do?

I like your perspective on it, I would say it actually does help me get out more and at least makes me try and be interested in doing stuff using it as a motivator, but it also simultaneously doesnt really solve a lot of the root problems I have and maybe kind of feeds into those bad habits just a little bit.