Venting How come my loved ones dont make me change my mind?

[Cheesecake]

I dont mean that in the sense that Id like them to talk me out of it, I moreso mean why dont they make me feel like life is worth suffering through? i love them so much and i know how my leaving might hurt them but it just doesnt motivate me to change my mind or try to turn my life around. im messed up enough i have coworkers recommend ketamine treatments and yet these people choose to keep me around all day and talk to me and care about my interests while i wallow in sadness all day and dont put an active interest in anyone but myself and i just cant for the life of me (lol) understand why

 

[uchuunekoko]

When you're in a position where 'nothing really matters,' it becomes hard to find motivation or interest in anything, even people—even if they're people you love and care for. It won't matter how much affection and support is shown to you—it will all feel hollow and, possibly, even fake. I think most people would find themselves thinking the latter case, which worsens your mental state even further

Speaking strictly for myself, I don't feel like it's worth it to continue suffering through life (even if I end up successful) because I have buried myself so deep into the idea that "everyone is normal, and even if I told them exactly how I feel, they still wouldn't understand." The only true way I could cope—with being so pathetically malcontent—was to 'accept' the lowest version of myself I've ever reached. As a result, no one in my life has made me feel like I should reconsider CTB'ing. On the other hand though, I have become much more 'focused' on myself—my interests and desires—but I can't tell if that's improved or worsened my mental state

Being overwhelmed with misery and existential questioning is one sure-fire way to make you feel alienated from every other human being

 

[niki wonoto]

When you're in a position where 'nothing really matters,' it becomes hard to find motivation or interest in anything, even people—even if they're people you love and care for. It won't matter how much affection and support is shown to you—it will all feel hollow and, possibly, even fake. I think most people would find themselves thinking the latter case, which worsens your mental state even further

Speaking strictly for myself, I don't feel like it's worth it to continue suffering through life (even if I end up successful) because I have buried myself so deep into the idea that "everyone is normal, and even if I told them exactly how I feel, they still wouldn't understand." The only true way I could cope—with being so pathetically malcontent—was to 'accept' the lowest version of myself I've ever reached. As a result, no one in my life has made me feel like I should reconsider CTB'ing. On the other hand though, I have become much more 'focused' on myself—my interests and desires—but I can't tell if that's improved or worsened my mental state

Being overwhelmed with misery and existential questioning is one sure-fire way to make you feel alienated from every other human being

Thanks a lot for actually writing this comment. I can deeply relate with almost everything you've said above. You've put my thoughts into words perfectly.

- from Indonesia -