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How close are you to CTB

  • Very close; method finalized

    Votes: 115 45.5%
  • Thinking about it repeatedly but not sure

    Votes: 120 47.4%
  • Suicidal thoughts but low intensity

    Votes: 18 7.1%

  • Total voters
    253
Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
How close are you to CTB
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,337
In my case, I have never wanted to live and I am very tired of living. Death is all I want, there is nothing here for me in this world. Dying is the only thing that makes sense for me, I want to be free from all meaningless suffering. However I am trapped in this world as it is so difficult to leave, for me there is the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit and the fear of failure. So therefore I do not see myself as being close to ctb. More than anything I wish that it was easier to exit, I wish to fall asleep and never wake again.
 
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BigGimpin

BigGimpin

Student
Mar 24, 2022
127
If I had a way out I would take it right NOW. I am disabled and dont really have a lot of options, trying to get N through D but I cant get the PPeH to download.

I dont want to live another sleepless night
 
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Reactions: neoyokio, Sunset Limited, houseofleaves and 5 others
fatefulstillness

fatefulstillness

ghost.
Oct 24, 2021
151
I am sure of my decision to end my life but I am waiting some time for now. There are things I need to be here for.
 
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Reactions: Astronauta, cyanol, houseofleaves and 1 other person
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
I selected the first option. I have everything ready (method, note, details). I am desperately looking for care options for my dog
 
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Reactions: 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮 ☆, Sunset Limited, houseofleaves and 2 others
F

fullofregrets

Member
Jul 25, 2021
35
Ready to go the coming month but I'm not sure how I'll handle extreme anxiety. Already having panic attacks a month prior.
 
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Reactions: CandyCane, Sunset Limited, houseofleaves and 3 others
C

CommitSudoku

never interfere with a lifespan reaping
Feb 12, 2022
524
Would be so happy to go right now. No method finalized but the beauty with hanging is it can always be an option. Just hard to go through with. I wish I was dead today so I wouldn't just be perpetuating misery and wasting time. I will hold out hope for the weekend for trying anything and let myself binge and drink at least tonight and tomorrow.
 
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L

lifehurtsuk

Member
Mar 25, 2022
16
I'm ready to go yesterday
 
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G

Goh12345

Member
Aug 7, 2021
9
I don't really know. I wish it was closer. But I still have to find a way to buy sn. I have plan how to do it. Then I don't know how long I will wait
 
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fieldofash

fieldofash

Member
Feb 20, 2022
16
anyone else reach the point where its almost the baseline for their thoughts?
its what i keep coming back to after every distraction.
seems close.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,913
5 out of 10. Not thrilled about killing myself, not thrilled at staying either.
 
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Reactions: je.suis.prêt, CandyCane and Sunset Limited
fay13

fay13

Member
Nov 14, 2021
81
tomorrow i CTB
 
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L

lifehurtsuk

Member
Mar 25, 2022
16
anyone else reach the point where its almost the baseline for their thoughts?
its what i keep coming back to after every distraction.
seems close.
Yep. It's the only thought that brings me some comfort now a days
 
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Reactions: Everlong, Sunset Limited, fay13 and 1 other person
fay13

fay13

Member
Nov 14, 2021
81
Yep. It's the only thought that brings me some comfort now a days
i ALMOST had a deadly mental breakdown today , but thankfully thinking about killing myself tomorrow and coming back to this forum made me calm down
 
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Reactions: Sunset Limited, YourNeighbor and Dead Meat
Al_stargate

Al_stargate

I was once a pretty angel
Mar 4, 2022
748
Method is almost set, need to get everything in order like finances, and I'll likely be set in April sometime. Feel the time coming and it's giving me anxiety.
 
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Reactions: LetmeCTB566 and fay13
fay13

fay13

Member
Nov 14, 2021
81
Method is almost set, need to get everything in order like finances, and I'll likely be set in April sometime. Feel the time coming and it's giving me anxiety.
can you please tell me what is your method ?
 
Hercules

Hercules

Arcanist
Jan 31, 2021
408
Very close. I already have everything that I need. I have worked out all the details and have a plan in place. The only thing stopping me is anxiety when I try to set a concrete date.
 
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fay13

fay13

Member
Nov 14, 2021
81
Very close. I already have everything that I need. I have worked out all the details and have a plan in place. The only thing stopping me is anxiety when I try to set a concrete date.
this was my problem for the past 10 months , but now i am very determined , tomorrow i CTB hopefully
 
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Reactions: BigGimpin
sharky

sharky

Lost
Dec 15, 2021
283
Very close. I always have a tiny bit of hope but nowadays I only have bad days and I have the feeling that I can't take it anymore.
 
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Reactions: ineedtoctb and Daniel905420
EndofEternity

EndofEternity

Member
Mar 19, 2022
29
Incredibly close. I just need to wait until I have the money to order SN, and then I plan on going soon after it gets here
 
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Reactions: LetmeCTB566 and fay13
L

lifehurtsuk

Member
Mar 25, 2022
16
this was my problem for the past 10 months , but now i am very determined , tomorrow i CTB hopefully
How did you find it? I hope you find a reason to live
 
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Reactions: fay13
*Justanotherone*

*Justanotherone*

Member
Dec 14, 2021
14
CTB comes in vawes to me...
Sometimes water can be peaceful and suddenly big wave is taking me under the water. Sometimes there are many smaller vawes....
No rules here accept one - staying
in water is only your decision....
 
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Reactions: Sunset Limited and Al Cappella
NormaJeane

NormaJeane

Member
Mar 24, 2021
648
I am ready to die any day now.
 
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Reactions: Hurt, Sunset Limited, ineedtoctb and 1 other person
Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
Atm it's a case of trying to convince that I don't want to ctb, that's going terribly so far. I'm giving myself a week or two to decide where I go from here.
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
Im waiting for my dog to pass away before attempting, not sure what category that falls under.
 
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Reactions: 4am, Hurt, Hope:-) and 4 others
L

looking4escape

Member
Mar 21, 2022
7
If I could get my hands on N It'd be a matter of days for me
For now I'm trying to come up with my final plan
I'm so tired of my life and been this way since I was a teenager
 
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Reactions: Niirvana

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