I'd be long gone if I could have the option to peacefully cease existing and never suffer again but of course I exist in this horrific world where suicide is seen as a crime where I cannot have the option to cease existing painlessly that is guaranteed to escape from the terrible, torturous abomination of existence that I just always saw as a mistake, all I want is to not exist. For me non-existence is just all that's positive and is the only peace, I just want to never suffer again, I'd never wish for this existence that just causes and brings so much pain and suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.