How close are you to commit suicide?

[Terrible_Life_99]

Hey everyone,
I would like to know how close you are to committing suicide and how confident you feel about going through with it.

I will use hanging as my method of suicide. I've prepared everything. I should have died years ago. Every day is just torture. I somehow struggle through the day, and then a new day begins, and the suffering continues. I should really use the next opportunity to kill myself, but unfortunately, I'm afraid. I think the fear isn't necessarily that I might fail; it's more that everything feels so strange. One moment I'm alive, and then a few seconds later I pass out, and that's it. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm very sad about how my life turned out and that I haven't had anything good in it.
In the end, I think I have to accept this painful fact and finally hang myself, because time passes so quickly, and the more time passes, the more broken I become because of this suffering.

 

[Darmok]

I have been trying for more than a year. But I don't have the courage to finally step into it and end things.

 

[MeSauce]

View attachment Emmengards_Suicide_Scale.webp
if i had to rank it on this scale i think i would be a 5 lol

 

[cloud;.]

I've been ready to do it for ages.... just lack the courage to do it... but i get a weird feeling my ctb time is coming.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'm there but I don't have a method that will work. Gun or N would be over already. I don't have the willpower even to set up charcoal in a car. This is a bad situation. Might have to take guidance from the Dorothy Parker poem.

 

[itsgone2]

I have fsh setup ready. Was sitting there this morning. Kinda tried but going through with it is such a roadblock. Yes it's going to hurt but I'm in pain anyway so I don't understand why it's so difficult.

 

[elenaboo25]

I need to do it sooner than intendend, and at the moment I feel I need to do it, but I don't want to. I am also unsure about what method to use. It has been all i've been thinking about this whole weekend, and tomorrow I have to go to work and act as if everything is fine.

 

[Off_Switch]

Very. I was drifting all these years. Now my circumstances have finally caughtup and I will be forced to.

 

[swankysoup]

View attachment 182912
if i had to rank it on this scale i think i would be a 5 lol

I'm 6 on a good day, 8 on a bad day i would say. I think it helps looking at the pic instead of having the thought only in your own head all the time.

 

[RunDown]

I feel like I'm in a rush since my medical situation has taken a turn for the worse. I'm waiting on supplies to be delivered. I really need to be ready to go at a moments notice. If things keep progressing like they are I can't see myself lasting the month

 

[Bronzehawkattack]

Not close, fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it.
For me It's not currently urgent that I die, but I do want to have a method on hand that I prefer (inert gas or SN)

I don't wanna kill myself before my father eventually passes, but, I know if I have a method on hand, It'd be just a matter of time before the mood strikes whether he's gone or not. It's just a matter of acquiring my method.

 

[traingirl]

View attachment 182912
if i had to rank it on this scale i think i would be a 5 lol

I'm an 8 lol

 

[xaninos]

12 more days waiting on a final few things to finalize, some people to pick up some nice "gifts" that I'm "ordering new ones" for and a couple of lunches with some adoptive family before I head out

 

[merryberry]

I have prescription medicine now which would make dying likely. I do want to properly plan everything before I die so I'm not in a hurry. I just know I want to choose when I die and not get old. I probably will never graduate uni

 

[SeaGlass]

Pretty close I think,since I'm making plans on what to buy to do it, I know how I will go, and I know I have to do it before december to not ruin my family's Christmas.
I'm kinda bummed out I won't see Avatar 3 though

 

[qewpie]

on the scale posted earlier, a good ol 8.5 at which i will remain for ages more physical torment!!!

 

[lovelydove]

I'm getting close. If I had to give it a number from that scale posted before, I'd say I'm at a 8. The main things holding me back are that I'm not entirely sure what method I'm going to use, and whenever I think about CTB I get scared cause of my SI and FOMO.

 

[hmnow]

Maybe a few hours

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

I have been trying for more than a year. But I don't have the courage to finally step into it and end things.

I understand its very difficult to do it. I have some days when my suffering is extremely extremely high but then when I just look at the set up the fear from the hanging is what occupies my mind and everything else is gone. I think I have to drink alcohol before my attempt, not too much of course.

I've been ready to do it for ages.... just lack the courage to do it... but i get a weird feeling my ctb time is coming.

What exactly is giving you this feeling that your ctb time is coming? Is it the feeling that its too much suffering and you can't continue any more?

I have fsh setup ready. Was sitting there this morning. Kinda tried but going through with it is such a roadblock. Yes it's going to hurt but I'm in pain anyway so I don't understand why it's so difficult.

I understand. I also wanna ctb by full hanging and i have so many reasons to do it. Tbh i find it so stupid that I'm still alive because it makes no sense. I am doing nothing positive. I do not fulfill any function, i am not a part of society. I'm just the failure product result of my family and their terrible mistakes they did.

 

[ArtisticJasper]

I am waiting on my stuff to come in. Things happen that I think seem like they could be good and cause me to want to stay longer but then I get slapped in the face of reality of why I want to CTB in the first place.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

I am waiting on my stuff to come in. Things happen that I think seem like they could be good and cause me to want to stay longer but then I get slapped in the face of reality of why I want to CTB in the first place.

I remember when I ordered the rope and I thought once its here I'll just learn the knots with it and then ctb. Well….the damn rope was delivered in December 2024 and unfortunately I'm still here, suffering day after day, trapped in this nightmare. :(

Maybe a few hours

What method do you wanna use?

I'm getting close. If I had to give it a number from that scale posted before, I'd say I'm at a 8. The main things holding me back are that I'm not entirely sure what method I'm going to use, and whenever I think about CTB I get scared cause of my SI and FOMO.

I understand the issue with si. It absolutely sucks that si exists. When I see these suicide videos and i see that they just do it i ask myself how did they become so fearless. I think in my case theres no other option i have to somehow force myself to do it.

 

[itsgone2]

I remember when I ordered the rope and I thought once its here I'll just learn the knots with it and then ctb. Well….the damn rope was delivered in December 2024 and unfortunately I'm still here, suffering day after day, trapped in this nightmare. :(

Ugh I'm afraid of this. Getting the rope and doing the knots was pretty easy. I'm fortunate to have a good anchor point. But to actually do it really is something else.

 

[sadman1897]

I am so close I can feel the relief . My plan is to fill the truck with gas , shut the garage door , and hang out on my phone until I pass from CO. I plan to drop my dog off with my sister and tell her I'm going out of town . Leave a note on the front door "do not enter, house is saturated with CO"

 

[closetoyou]

if i get SN (will see this week if i got scammed lol), i plan on doing it early next year (mid-jan)

maybe that plan will fall through, but idk. i'm tired.

 

[antiqueantipodean]

I lack the courage and have hope something better will come but better things have come then crashed so many times I don't think the cycle will ever end and the crashes far outweigh to good times

 

[Irisse]

To be honest not that close, I feel awful on some days but I can't do anything before Summer of 2026, otherwise I'd ruin any prospects for a good future.

 

[LostZombie]

I will do it as soon as I get my materials, I am so tired of this. I am not going to be a slave for 50 years, I will get my freedom.

 

[joshua12]

My supplies will arrive in 2 days and i've never been so relaxed.

 

[no mas]

I'm there but I don't have a method that will work. Gun or N would be over already. I don't have the willpower even to set up charcoal in a car. This is a bad situation. Might have to take guidance from the Dorothy Parker poem. it isn't a wishy washy thing. It seems it's either planned out from simple to elaborately, or it's a spur of the moment

 

[onyx559]

I was going to do it yesterday but my sister took the gun out of the safe