Venting how can I subtly hint to parents that I need to get help

[mousecrumbs]

(sorry for any bad grammar during this , I don't really think about what I'm typing when I vent)

I've attempted around 3 times now in the span of 2 months and relapsed more times than I can count but I can't bring myself to seek help in anyone. I'm trying to commit before summer ends so I can just avoid the future but nobody I know irl seems to notice, and when I try to voice it I just start crying or I get really embarrassed,,

I don't like the idea of therapy because in my eyes, no amount of words can change whats gonna happen. they won't make me feel better and it for sure can't get me out of this so what's the point of wasting time and money on some session where the listener just wants to get their job done and get paid yk? idk if that's just a mindset or it would actually help if i got it but if it comes to if id rathet that than having to ctb,, I don't wanna die yet to be honest and every attempt I've had SI ends up kicking in or I was doing something wrong and it just made me sad ,,w

anyone who's replied to my threads on here has told me not to OD since it will just be painful and it most likely won't kill me but imo I like the idea of just taking them and not being able to stop the outcome . and if it doesn't kill me I feel like the results of the OD would get somones attention and id end up getting forced into help which kinda sounds easier to me than seeking it myself. if there are any methods where you do something and it's kinda inevitable that you will die soon and you can't stop it pls lmk !

part of me has considered running away to the nearest city with tall buildings which is kinda far away and they are all casinos/hotels so i don't really know how I'd get up to jump,,,,, there is also a bridge between where I am and the city with the buildings but I'm DEATHLY afraid of the ocean and I'm not sure if I'd die or pass out on impact,,(I searched it up and the highest point is 95 feet above water) I mean, if that's what I have to do then maybe I will but I'm not gonna until I know for sure I'll die quickly.

anyways, I kinda lost the plot and forgot what I was talking about so I'ma end that here ig ,, ty for reading

edit: I remembered I wanted to add that my dad Dosent believe I have mental issues and anytime I bring it up to my mom she starts talking about how she does too and just goes "I don't know we'll do something about it " and she never does that's why I've been putting off asking

 

[meowpuppy]

(sorry for any bad grammar during this , I don't really think about what I'm typing when I vent)

I've attempted around 3 times now in the span of 2 months and relapsed more times than I can count but I can't bring myself to seek help in anyone. I'm trying to commit before summer ends so I can just avoid the future but nobody I know irl seems to notice, and when I try to voice it I just start crying or I get really embarrassed,,

I don't like the idea of therapy because in my eyes, no amount of words can change whats gonna happen. they won't make me feel better and it for sure can't get me out of this so what's the point of wasting time and money on some session where the listener just wants to get their job done and get paid yk? idk if that's just a mindset or it would actually help if i got it but if it comes to if id rathet that than having to ctb,, I don't wanna die yet to be honest and every attempt I've had SI ends up kicking in or I was doing something wrong and it just made me sad ,,w

anyone who's replied to my threads on here has told me not to OD since it will just be painful and it most likely won't kill me but imo I like the idea of just taking them and not being able to stop the outcome . and if it doesn't kill me I feel like the results of the OD would get somones attention and id end up getting forced into help which kinda sounds easier to me than seeking it myself. if there are any methods where you do something and it's kinda inevitable that you will die soon and you can't stop it pls lmk !

part of me has considered running away to the nearest city with tall buildings which is kinda far away and they are all casinos/hotels so i don't really know how I'd get up to jump,,,,, there is also a bridge between where I am and the city with the buildings but I'm DEATHLY afraid of the ocean and I'm not sure if I'd die or pass out on impact,,(I searched it up and the highest point is 95 feet above water) I mean, if that's what I have to do then maybe I will but I'm not gonna until I know for sure I'll die quickly.

anyways, I kinda lost the plot and forgot what I was talking about so I'ma end that here ig ,, ty for reading

edit: I remembered I wanted to add that my dad Dosent believe I have mental issues and anytime I bring it up to my mom she starts talking about how she does too and just goes "I don't know we'll do something about it " and she never does that's why I've been putting off asking

if you don't want to get therapy, do you want psychiatric medication?

 

[SASU-KE]

Seems like your parents are the type to remain oblivious. Some parents do that on purpose and some genuinely believe that you can power through anything.

They never learn. Only after the worst happens will they realize. Also, your mother seems to think it's a damn competition.

I've seen this as well. Some parents will play down what you're going through and say that they went through worse.

 

[mousecrumbs]

if you don't want to get therapy, do you want psychiatric medication?

honestly that sounds nice ,, if I ever get the opportunity I wouldn't mind it if it got rid of the thoughts

 

[Canto XIII]

I don't like the idea of therapy because in my eyes, no amount of words can change whats gonna happen. they won't make me feel better and it for sure can't get me out of this so what's the point of wasting time and money on some session where the listener just wants to get their job done and get paid yk? idk if that's just a mindset or it would actually help if i got it but if it comes to if id rathet that than having to ctb

You can't know whether it'll work for you if you've never tried it (and this comes from someone pretty skeptical towards it). Talk therapy can surely help to understand yourself better, at the very least. Also, talk therapy is not the only kind of mental help you can get, but I can't really give you advice on that. Maybe talking to a psychiatrist would be a good idea.

and when I try to voice it I just start crying or I get really embarrassed

I know it's difficult, but if you think they're trustworthy, understanding people I think you should make an effort. A lot of things can be resolved by asking other people for help.

 

[meowpuppy]

honestly that sounds nice ,, if I ever get the opportunity I wouldn't mind it if it got rid of the thoughts

psychiatric drugs are relatively speaking pretty easy to get. can you just tell your parents you feel depressed and want to see a psychiatrist? the psych will probably prescribe you something you can try

 

[hdead]

psychiatric drugs are relatively speaking pretty easy to get. can you just tell your parents you feel depressed and want to see a psychiatrist? the psych will probably prescribe you something you can try

Chiming in just to say that psych meds made me extremely anhedonic. It helps with staying away from overthinking and ideation, but life is even more grey-tinted than before I took them.

Not to say this would be the case for every person, but definitely a risk I'd say.

 

[meowpuppy]

Chiming in just to say that psych meds made me extremely anhedonic. It helps with staying away from overthinking and ideation, but life is even more grey-tinted than before I took them.

Not to say this would be the case for every person, but definitely a risk I'd say.

yeah, the whole idea of psychiatry is to make you more apathetic so that you can continue providing value as a human, not necessarily as a person. in that sense, it's both incredibly utilitarian and an affront to utilitarianism

also suffering from anhedonia due to psych withdrawal right now..

 

[hdead]

yeah, the whole idea of psychiatry is to make you more apathetic so that you can continue providing value as a human, not necessarily as a person. in that sense, it's both incredibly utilitarian and an affront to utilitarianism

also suffering from anhedonia due to psych withdrawal right now..

At least it's making me more productive when it comes to scowering DH for opioids.. eek.

 

[hughmun9]

Chiming in just to say that psych meds made me extremely anhedonic. It helps with staying away from overthinking and ideation, but life is even more grey-tinted than before I took them.

Not to say this would be the case for every person, but definitely a risk I'd say.

I had the same experience. Made me feel nothing, or if I do feel something it's so much quieter than before. The main feeling I have now is a deep, almost inescapable sense of boredom.