Help how can i open up about my mental health to my family

[GASLIGHTER7000]

my strict religious family would never take it well. but the truth is i want to recover
i managed to get diagnosed for anxiety and see a therapist when i was around 13. but i was constantly shamed for it (especially the amount of money it cost my parents) and i eventually asked them to stop. a few months back i looked into getting therapy but i ended up arguing with my mom about it and the topic was never brought up again
it feels like the only way i could ever get help is attempting
i cant do anything because i can't get a job, i can't escape. im stuck here and miserable everyday
i couldnt describe how my feelings are. but theyre so painful and i can barely control them. im constantly crying for essentially no reason and having thoughts that make my head physically hurt. i hate living like this. i cant focus on my tasks or anything important, nothing feels worth it and sometimes the thought of genuinely committing crosses my mind. it terrifies me because when i was younger suicide felt like a last resort, but now it really crosses my mind as an option
is attempting my only answer? did anyone ever manage to get help through attempting?
im sorry if this post is scatterbrained. im really in pain and i know people have worse issues but i want help because i want to live

 

[derekWest]

having thoughts that make my head physically hurt

That's quite weird ! What you GP say about that ?

but now it really crosses my mind as an option

Like me... But don't do the same thing than me please ! Too dangerous.
I make a ctb attempt to get a real choice between life and death. Maybe quite diffent than your situation ?

Do you take some treatment ?

 

[Makoto]

my strict religious family would never take it well. but the truth is i want to recover
i managed to get diagnosed for anxiety and see a therapist when i was around 13. but i was constantly shamed for it (especially the amount of money it cost my parents) and i eventually asked them to stop. a few months back i looked into getting therapy but i ended up arguing with my mom about it and the topic was never brought up again
it feels like the only way i could ever get help is attempting
i cant do anything because i can't get a job, i can't escape. im stuck here and miserable everyday
i couldnt describe how my feelings are. but theyre so painful and i can barely control them. im constantly crying for essentially no reason and having thoughts that make my head physically hurt. i hate living like this. i cant focus on my tasks or anything important, nothing feels worth it and sometimes the thought of genuinely committing crosses my mind. it terrifies me because when i was younger suicide felt like a last resort, but now it really crosses my mind as an option
is attempting my only answer? did anyone ever manage to get help through attempting?
im sorry if this post is scatterbrained. im really in pain and i know people have worse issues but i want help because i want to live

Maybe you could find a therapist online... I know its not the same, but could help. Sorry you are going through this, i hope you can find what you need soon without having to do something you dont want to

 

[dead dav]

I feel you my family refuse to accept I'm mentally ill even though I have been to therapy and beed diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety together with possible ocd it's hard feels like uour banging your head against a brick wall