Help How can I not hurt my kind Dad?

[The Crybaby]

I am absolutely my father's daughter, I look more like him than I do my mother and act similarly to him. He is a very kind and loving guy, I can not stop feeling horrible for him.

He knows that I have been struggling with my depression and is really trying his best to make me happy. However, happy does not pay any bills, it does not make generational wealth, it does not stick around and my happiness does nothing for anyone else. Me living is only adding to his stress.

My ctb date is tomorrow, I already had a conversation with him a month ago and told him that it is necessary. I am dead weight. My social skills are getting worse since I am a neet, I am too scared to get a job, and my compulsions are metaphorically shoving me into a locker. I know that he will get over the loss someday. He understood, but is in denial.

My dad is the only person I have right now, although I am terrified of men [not his fault].

I should ctb but I know how selfish it is. I just do not want to hurt him. What should I say that might put him at ease?

 

[Michael_the_ratman]

The best thing you could do is to not do it. I know it's the usual answer but think about it. Cmon, you can't do that to him. No matter what you do, you can't prevent him from getting sad. Consider living for him, consider telling him your plan. Might seem like the world is trash right now but trust me, it's not the reality. You're suicidal, you see the world how in a way that isn't true. I can't self diagnose you, but I'm pretty sure you're going through a mental crisis. You should really take a step back and reconsider. You're worth it, you're worth the treatment, you're worth the money, you're worth being happy. You seem like just a sweet person ( by having just read this small thread of yours)… please don't

If you absolutely want to ctb, I feel uncomfortable giving you advice.


I understand how you feel though, I live for my mom. I know how devastated she'd be if I died. Think about your dad <3

 

[MidnightCat]

My dad used to be the one who helped me the most with depression and my suicidal thoughts.

He died 3 days before last Christmas. I was too depressed to go to the hospital before it was too late.

Right now I'm still here because I don't want to make my wife suffer. The only way for that is to keep on living, although unbearable.. I'll go to the absolut limit.


Better me suffering than her.

That said... Can't force you to take the same route. I just hope , whatever you end up doing... Ends in the best way possible.

 

[Bear1234]

My dad is also my lifeline, I understand. Sending love your way. My advice would be to try treatment before you CTB, its worth a shot because honestly I think you have more to live for even though it may not seem like it right now. Im a strong advocate of having the choice to end your life but in this case I think you just think about this more. I say this with kindness because I am going through a chronic illness right now and that is my reason for considering suicide. Theres no way out for me and im trying every treatment method before i quit, i think you should too.

 

[MarbleArch]

Keep living for the ones you love today, you can always ctb tomorrow.

 

[trs]

I am absolutely my father's daughter, I look more like him than I do my mother and act similarly to him. He is a very kind and loving guy, I can not stop feeling horrible for him.

He knows that I have been struggling with my depression and is really trying his best to make me happy. However, happy does not pay any bills, it does not make generational wealth, it does not stick around and my happiness does nothing for anyone else. Me living is only adding to his stress.

My ctb date is tomorrow, I already had a conversation with him a month ago and told him that it is necessary. I am dead weight. My social skills are getting worse since I am a neet, I am too scared to get a job, and my compulsions are metaphorically shoving me into a locker. I know that he will get over the loss someday. He understood, but is in denial.

My dad is the only person I have right now, although I am terrified of men [not his fault].

I should ctb but I know how selfish it is. I just do not want to hurt him. What should I say that might put him at ease?

@Bear1234 said it very well, you have a lifeline which is more than a lot of people have and I would keep hanging on to that. And, if it is the kind of relationship you state, it is not something he would get over someday. From the sound of your situation, things can get better.

 

[badtothebone]

Don't do it! I'm hurt and going crazy after my son died. He will question every discussion you both had he will feel guilty regardless. When your child dies you will question the air in your child room. Trust me it's hard nothing is true about " he will get over it one day". I don't know how old are you or your story. I know depression is the devil and it's hard to live with it but maybe look for other resources first. Do it for your dad let him help you