Venting How can i kill myself if people depend on me

[WordV0mit]

I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I killed myself and he said they would kill themself almost imeadeatly. I then responded with "what if my.dyong wish was for you to keep living" and he said they would try but the probably wouldn't get far. I really want to die but I want the love of my life to live happily more than I want to die. I have never felt such a genuine connection with someone and I know he can say the same about me, but I just dont know if it can keep living. I dont want to leave him alone but I cant take living anymore. Everything is so painfully boring. I can hardly find enjoyment in life anymore and the only time I really feel anything anymore is when im with my partner or Im being hurt. I dont know how long I can keep moving on like this. I dont care how anyone else would feel or react, I just want my partner to be happy and live a good life.

 

[TBONTB]

I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I killed myself and he said they would kill themself almost imeadeatly. I then responded with "what if my.dyong wish was for you to keep living" and he said they would try but the probably wouldn't get far. I really want to die but I want the love of my life to live happily more than I want to die. I have never felt such a genuine connection with someone and I know he can say the same about me, but I just dont know if it can keep living. I dont want to leave him alone but I cant take living anymore. Everything is so painfully boring. I can hardly find enjoyment in life anymore and the only time I really feel anything anymore is when im with my partner or Im being hurt. I dont know how long I can keep moving on like this. I dont care how anyone else would feel or react, I just want my partner to be happy and live a good life.

I hear you.