CountingSeconds
Trying
- Mar 1, 2024
- 30
It's fairly clear to my friends and family what my intentions are now, especially after a failed partial attempt that left a mark that a friend noticed. Since then I've just overwhelmed with messages and calls, of people trying to help and make plans.
I am so grateful for their love, but it is beyond that. Choosing to continue my suffering to spare theirs is selfish on me. I had planned to write notes but I don't think that will be enough now. I wish I could just sit them all down and explain why this is the right choice for me. I lost a friend to cancer, and he did the same when he decided to stop treatment. We understood. Somehow this is different. But to me suffering is suffering, whether physical or mental, seen or unseen.
I am so grateful for their love, but it is beyond that. Choosing to continue my suffering to spare theirs is selfish on me. I had planned to write notes but I don't think that will be enough now. I wish I could just sit them all down and explain why this is the right choice for me. I lost a friend to cancer, and he did the same when he decided to stop treatment. We understood. Somehow this is different. But to me suffering is suffering, whether physical or mental, seen or unseen.
