How can i get back into practicing Martial Arts?

[Minas]

I'm very sorry for be posting this here, But I don't know who else i can turn to.

It's been an year ever since i stopped. But before this, I had previous experience with practicing, Being a brown belt in Judo, practicing ever since i was a kid, While also having around 6 months of Muay Thai classes.

But last year was specially dark for me. My Nmom became a lot more violent, So one day, I kinda... Broke down mid training. And ever since that day, My fighting spirit just left me. Now i live in a state where if someone wants to fight me, I won't do anything. I won't raise my fists, I will not try to run, I'll just let him do whatever he wants without saying a word. I am unable to raise my own fists to defend myself anymore... Just like it was with my mom. My plans to learn how to better defend myself failed... I don't wanna do this "Self Defense" stuff anymore. I just want to let myself get hurt and die.

Anyway, A lot has happened between then and now, A lot changed, Some things for the better, But i do admit I am starting to miss practicing. I still engage in Martial Arts content for my stories. Hell, a friend of mine even asked me to write a fighting style for one of his OCs, Pretty much devise a moveset for them. A part of me still wants to- You can say "Mocap" this sort of thing for personal inspiration. But if i'm not there to fight or spar, Because everytime i stand in front of someone in training i feel like i need to kneel and let them kick me, Is there really a point?

I hope people who can better understand my circumstances will offer better advice on what I can do next. I tried asking this in a martial arts forum and they just told me to man up and check my testosterone... I don't wanna man up. I don't wanna get my testosterone checked. I just want to let someone do as they wish to me and hurt me as much as they want.

 

[The Actual Devil]

Anyone who obsesses over T levels is usually a shill or shill's crony: you are wise to ignore them. I can walk with you through this trouble of yours, but be mindful that the path is yours alone to choose.
First, tell me: what exercise do you do?
If nothing, then start there. Even just a walk, at the same time each day for a month, will help. Over time, pick up the pace, turn it into a jog, and before long it will be your daily run.
Weight training will go a long way to gain your ambition back, but the problem is getting the motivation to go. Which is why I recommended running. And before you can run, you must walk.
Eventually, during weight training, you will want to punch something. The adrenaline will see to that. Toss a few jabs at a padded surface or, better yet, a heavy or speed bag, and you'll be ready to walk into that dojo again.
I may be oversimplifying, and if there are other troubles keeping you down or if any of what I said isn't quite clicking with you, we can talk about it more.

 

[Minas]

Anyone who obsesses over T levels is usually a shill or shill's crony: you are wise to ignore them. I can walk with you through this trouble of yours, but be mindful that the path is yours alone to choose.
First, tell me: what exercise do you do?
If nothing, then start there. Even just a walk, at the same time each day for a month, will help. Over time, pick up the pace, turn it into a jog, and before long it will be your daily run.
Weight training will go a long way to gain your ambition back, but the problem is getting the motivation to go. Which is why I recommended running. And before you can run, you must walk.
Eventually, during weight training, you will want to punch something. The adrenaline will see to that. Toss a few jabs at a padded surface or, better yet, a heavy or speed bag, and you'll be ready to walk into that dojo again.
I may be oversimplifying, and if there are other troubles keeping you down or if any of what I said isn't quite clicking with you, we can talk about it more.

I like running! I'm starting to burn 200 calories in two kilometers recently. I don't really wanna get "big" with exercises, just... maybe shape my body and get myself healthier.

... So I admit I don't do weight training often. Just cardio and stuff that gets me moving, because As I said before, I don't wanna grow big. It would make me look repulsive.

I actually talked about this hitting the bag stuff with my girlfriend. She said we can arrange a bag for me to train alone as long as I want if I... never overcome my submissive, inferiority mindset towards other Dojo students. My mom taught me well, There are "superior" people... and there is me. I don't really feel like i even "deserve" raising my hands towards anyone.

 

[The Actual Devil]

There are many kinds of weight training. It could serve you well to look into endurance weight training. It's low-weight, high-reps. You won't build muscle, you'll tone it. If even that is too much, look up weighted calisthenics then, for a mix of endurance building and cardio. Make sure you pair it with stretching exercises.
First, do a little cardio to get the blood pumping.
Then, do a warm-up rep with almost no weight (like an empty bar or the smallest weight available), then stretch out the now warmed-up muscle, then do your reps, rest, and keep it up until you complete the set. Repeat the steps in that last sentence each time you switch to an exercise that changes or engages a different muscle group for the overall workout.

Don't increase the weights you use after the first couple of months of acclimation to the routine. Just increase or decrease rest periods between sets.

Just give it a think, yeah? Look at some before and after pics maybe, but be careful because those are often faked.

Also, you won't put on muscle if you aren't eating for a bulk anyway. Don't starve yourself, just be mindful of those macros. Eat your goals, so to speak.

If you're new to the terminology I used, here's a helpful video:

 

[Minas]

There are many kinds of weight training. It could serve you well to look into endurance weight training. It's low-weight, high-reps. You won't build muscle, you'll tone it. If even that is too much, look up weighted calisthenics then, for a mix of endurance building and cardio. Make sure you pair it with stretching exercises.
First, do a little cardio to get the blood pumping.
Then, do a warm-up rep with almost no weight (like an empty bar or the smallest weight available), then stretch out the now warmed-up muscle, then do your reps, rest, and keep it up until you complete the set. Repeat the steps in that last sentence each time you switch to an exercise that changes or engages a different muscle group for the overall workout.

Don't increase the weights you use after the first couple of months of acclimation to the routine. Just increase or decrease rest periods between sets.

Just give it a think, yeah? Look at some before and after pics maybe, but be careful because those are often faked.

Also, you won't put on muscle if you aren't eating for a bulk anyway. Don't starve yourself, just be mindful of those macros. Eat your goals, so to speak.

If you're new to the terminology I used, here's a helpful video:

You really went and gave me a whole set of instructions. I'm thankful... I'm gonna try this tomorrow after i sleep. Very thankful.

I'll see if anything changes about the Martial arts stuff after I do it... But there's a chance it won't.

... You know... I was always interested in those arts that focused more on building a sound mind, alongside religious aspects. Like northern Shaolin Kung Fu... but if I engage in something like that, I surely will be made fun of by those "It won't work in MMA/Streets" guys. And that's... just another situation which will end with me agreeing with them, saying something like "I know, you'd kick my ass. I wouldn't fight it, just make it quick"

 

[The Actual Devil]

You really went and gave me a whole set of instructions. I'm thankful... I'm gonna try this tomorrow after i sleep. Very thankful.

I'll see if anything changes about the Martial arts stuff after I do it... But there's a chance it won't.

... You know... I was always interested in those arts that focused more on building a sound mind, alongside religious aspects. Like northern Shaolin Kung Fu... but if I engage in something like that, I surely will be made fun of by those "It won't work in MMA/Streets" guys. And that's... just another situation which will end with me agreeing with them, saying something like "I know, you'd kick my ass. I wouldn't fight it, just make it quick"

If you don't mind my asking, how would those guys get the opportunity to make fun of you? Do you have such people in your personal life? Or are you getting stuck on an unlikely scenario? Because we all do that sometimes, and we can work through that, too, if it's the case.

Any person who's studied MMA and taken it seriously knows the best way to win a fight is to avoid it. I wouldn't antagonize someone who studies Kung Fu, myself. You'll still be better off than 99% of the population.

Martial Arts is about so much more than fighting, as I'm sure you know. Focusing on the ability to kick someone's ass is so toxic and undermining. It's also so silly. MMA isn't very useful if your attacker has a gun, or some weapon you've never trained against...or if there's a group of them. Sure, it can be helpful to know how to take a punch and cover your weak points when curled up as ten boots are stomping on you, but it's hardly bragging rights.

And hey, if you do take Kung Fu, I'm all but positive that part of the training is learning how to not care about antagonistic people. Flow like water, and all that. It would probably make you the wisest person on SaSu in just a couple of years. I look forward to you calling us grasshoppers.