Venting How can be "recovery" worth it when it involves being sleepy and an emotionless zombie the whole day

[twatingthroughlife]

I kept trying to ctb. Didn't work. I don't have enough time alone and a good anchor. Parents found out and took me to a psychiatrist. We talked and she validated all my problems but all she told me I knew already. I got even more medicated and now I can't keep myself awake. I can't focus on anything. How am I supposed to keep myself alive like this? Feeling a tiny bit better doesn't help when I can't even do my assignments anymore. How is this worth it? How is this all there is? This is literally useless. I don't understand why this is considered the rational desicion when I'm literally dead in life.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I relate to this a lot. I'm so so sorry.

 

[annxietty]

I understand the feeling, you should talk to you psychiatrist about how you feel with your meds so they can change them to something that works better... but yeah, the whole purpose of those meds are to numb you, I dont know what problems you have exactly, for me I have anxiety and compulsive thoughts so my meds make me unable to concentrate too much on anything and I feel always a bit sleepy, but its tolerable or maybe Im just too used to be on meds lol Anyway I completely understand the point you are making and Im afraid I cant give you a response that will please you, I just think that what you are going through is tough and many of us can relate. Also meds without proper therapy are not good, but we all already know that right? lol

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Stop taking them asap. They want you hooked, its easier to come off them if you started a short time ago. DON'T take these medications for a long time, its a trap.

 

[twatingthroughlife]

I relate to this a lot. I'm so so sorry.

I'm sorry you have to go through this too. I hope you can find peace.

I understand the feeling, you should talk to you psychiatrist about how you feel with your meds so they can change them to something that works better... but yeah, the whole purpose of those meds are to numb you, I dont know what problems you have exactly, for me I have anxiety and compulsive thoughts so my meds make me unable to concentrate too much on anything and I feel always a bit sleepy, but its tolerable or maybe Im just too used to be on meds lol Anyway I completely understand the point you are making and Im afraid I cant give you a response that will please you, I just think that what you are going through is tough and many of us can relate. Also meds without proper therapy are not good, but we all already know that right? lol

I've been on med after med after med. At this point I'm really not interested in recovery as it gets exhausting. I have bipolar disorder, ocd and adhd and also external problems that affect me even more. But there's nothing I can do. I can't really go to therapy that often anymore. We are poor and live in a third world country. Either way, I've tried everything you can think of for about 8 years and nothing gets better. I really do not see a point or care about anything anymore.

Stop taking them asap. They want you hooked, its easier to come off them if you started a short time ago. DON'T take these medications for a long time, its a trap.

Sadly, every time I come off my meds, everything gets way worse. I've been on meds since I was 14. It's been 8 years. I really do not want to be medicated but I'm being monitored. I just wanted to ctb in peace. I've wanted it even before coming off my meds but I'm just not allowed to be free willed anymore, so I'll have to take them until everyone let's their guards down. I really need to be off my meds to be able to CTB.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I'm sorry you have to go through this too. I hope you can find peace.


I've been on med after med after med. At this point I'm really not interested in recovery as it gets exhausting. I have bipolar disorder, ocd and adhd and also external problems that affect me even more. But there's nothing I can do. I can't really go to therapy that often anymore. We are poor and live in a third world country. Either way, I've tried everything you can think of for about 8 years and nothing gets better. I really do not see a point or care about anything anymore.


Sadly, every time I come off my meds, everything gets way worse. I've been on meds since I was 14. It's been 8 years. I really do not want to be medicated but I'm being monitored. I just wanted to ctb in peace. I've wanted it even before coming off my meds but I'm just not allowed to be free willed anymore, so I'll have to take them until everyone let's their guards down. I really need to be off my meds to be able to CTB.

Its the same with me, I have been taking meds since 2017 from a young age. It's hard to come off them I understand perfectly happened to me before, best option is tapering. It's much easier to CTB off meds because life inherently gets way worse its a way to naturally reduce SI, I have been suicidal every time I went off mine.

 

[twatingthroughlife]

Its the same with me, I have been taking meds since 2017 from a young age. It's hard to come off them I understand perfectly happened to me before, best option is tapering. It's much easier to CTB off meds because life inherently gets way worse its a way to naturally reduce SI, I have been suicidal every time I went off mine.

Yeah, I was still suicidal on meds but si was strong so i came off my meds a while ago and I successfully got over si when I tried to ctb. But yeah, I'll stop taking them as soon as possible. Not even medicated I enjoy life.