Weird! I didn't get the first notification,
@sserafim @DarkRange55. Long post; feel free to skip/skim
I don't understand as well, in my case I'd certainly prefer to not exist under all circumstances, I only wish for eternal nothingness, I could never see anything desirable about being burdened with something so futile and cruel as human existence.
You
mentioned:
"We are always conscious, aware of everything, no escape from ourselves"
I wonder if you're like a promortalist I know. She has a brain condition where she's hyper-conscious — very little unconscious. She even consciously shapes her lips as she talks! A couple times during sports, she was horrified when her unconscious took over — like running & hitting a volleyball
(Unlike me. While I'm talking, I can be conscious of just 1 thing. My unconscious does everything else)
For her, every minute's work-work-work — an endless grind. I realized: my unconscious spares me from much suffering. Many listen to music, drive a car or take drugs — to turn off conscious mind. We've experimented with disabling it & trying to grow her unconscious
But why do we need a society at all? Why do anyone want to live?
Biologically, I think we form group minds. Not as hardcore as termites or fire ants. But with mirror neurons & whatnot, we often
hypercharge our conscious minds when communicating. (Communication's how we link up)
Many die because we lack purpose within group minds. Einstein argued:
I have now reached the point where I may indicate briefly what to me constitutes the essence of the crisis of our time. It concerns the relationship of the individual to society. The individual has become more conscious than ever of his dependence upon society. But he does not experience this dependence as a positive asset, as an organic tie, as a protective force, but rather as a threat to his natural rights, or even to his economic existence. Moreover, his position in society is such that the egotistical drives of his make-up are constantly being accentuated, while his social drives, which are by nature weaker, progressively deteriorate. All human beings, whatever their position in society, are suffering from this process of deterioration. Unknowingly prisoners of their own egotism, they feel insecure, lonely, and deprived of the naive, simple, and unsophisticated enjoyment of life. Man can find meaning in life, short and perilous as it is, only through devoting himself to society.
— Einstein,
"Why Socialism?"
Less dramatically, I think of it in terms of teamwork. Dysfunctional teams are somehow dumber than each of their members. And suffer from "individual vs society"
Whereas functional teams are
greater than the sum of their parts. And enable people to self-actualize: discover & grow their individuality
Some enjoy playing with basic team operations: creating, destroying, merging & splitting teams