Today I choose kindness but I have my own demons. I want to be emotionally intelligent as opposed to defensive and reactive and understand other peoples perspectives and recognize when they are speaking their truth from strength or speaking from egocentric weakness from fear. I want to be capable of understanding and connecting. Maybe if I could I would not be here. I want to stop. Its tough to keep moving.
The salmon run is happening here and i see the fishes fighting against the current just to die from exhaustion. Its tough to keep moving. Especially that the water is low and I look from my perch and see that a few are on a dead end and will have to drop back and try again with another line. I dunno. Its tough to keep moving. But if they stop they die.
As humans, when we stop, we aren't so lucky to simply die. We lose our autonomy, and that generally always leads to outcomes worse than death. That is the motivation I use to keep trying to pull whatever good I can into my life until I am dead.
When someone close dies we live in that grief and wear it like a sheild to find space and time to heal, sometimes until it becomes a character we have conditioned ourselves to play. Until there is no room for smiles, and moments of pleasure.
We are held still in an undercurrent. Its tough for everybody to keep moving.
We are more in a hospice than hospital, and I just want the path where the struggle is not burdened more by self hatred and self enforced despair. I want to have comfort and give comfort. I want to cope with what I am in the best way possible and help others cope. There are more dead ends than not and I want to ease the burden as much as possible.
The water is low my friends and I just want to perch on a gorgeous vista of beauty on the way out.
The salmon run is happening here and i see the fishes fighting against the current just to die from exhaustion. Its tough to keep moving. Especially that the water is low and I look from my perch and see that a few are on a dead end and will have to drop back and try again with another line. I dunno. Its tough to keep moving. But if they stop they die.
As humans, when we stop, we aren't so lucky to simply die. We lose our autonomy, and that generally always leads to outcomes worse than death. That is the motivation I use to keep trying to pull whatever good I can into my life until I am dead.
When someone close dies we live in that grief and wear it like a sheild to find space and time to heal, sometimes until it becomes a character we have conditioned ourselves to play. Until there is no room for smiles, and moments of pleasure.
We are held still in an undercurrent. Its tough for everybody to keep moving.
We are more in a hospice than hospital, and I just want the path where the struggle is not burdened more by self hatred and self enforced despair. I want to have comfort and give comfort. I want to cope with what I am in the best way possible and help others cope. There are more dead ends than not and I want to ease the burden as much as possible.
The water is low my friends and I just want to perch on a gorgeous vista of beauty on the way out.
