How are y’all doing?

[Mustkeyknow]

my psychiatrist switched my meds and I changed jobs and I feel OK. Not great or back to normal but OK. Earlier I got a flat tire and my world came crumbling down. Thoughts about ending it all came back. I'm back to normal now though.

How are y'all doing?

 

[NotMeantForHere]

That's good that you're at least feeling ok. Meds don't do anything for me anymore. I feel like my normal, steady not ok unfortunately. A little paranoid about a police visit because of what I've purchased recently. I hate having to hide so much!

 

[pole]

sad, tired of it all.

glad that you're somewhat back to normal and feel better than how you previously felt and hope things continue to get better for you in life from this point on.

 

[Hollow Point]

"Ok" is good. It's about as high as I can shoot for these days.

 

[nerve]

Earlier I got a flat tire and my world came crumbling down. Thoughts about ending it all came back. I'm back to normal now though.

I hate this part of life. Sometimes it feels like my brain is so sensitive and raw, it's just looking for any reason to completely break down and get some catharsis or relief. Everything is so inconvenient when you don't even want to be here.

Glad you were able to climb out of that.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I feel like shit. Very suicidal. It's like "hey wtf am i doing here? I have nothing to offer to the world. Dont want to exist. Can I go now?"

 

[s1mplem3]

Glad you feel OK. I feel lonely and want to die, thanks for asking.

 

[highlyvolatile]

Its nice to hear you're feeling ok. Have being on meds helped you?

I'm angry, hungry and sad most the damn time. Upset with life and my family in general and generally feeling useless. Biding time til the end.

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

An achievement or everyone to hear you're doing okay! I'm so glad. Little wins still count

On the other hand, I am not doing so hot. Not in a very good mental state right now. I want to end it so bad. I need to end it. It's just so annoying trying to resist all the urges

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

An achievement or everyone to hear you're doing okay! I'm so glad. Little wins still count

On the other hand, I am not doing so hot. Not in a very good mental state right now. I want to end it so bad. I need to end it. It's just so annoying trying to resist all the urges

I'm resisting the urge too.
"Resisting" is probably not quite the right word. I acknowledge the urge, but at the same time remember the vow I took - I will try my best to get the brain surgery done. If that doesn't work, I will do my damn best to outlive my father. Once that happens, I will ctb either on the same day, the day after, but the ABSOLUTELY best day would be yom kipur. No cars, no people outside, very little chance to be found.

Edit: a word. "Vow", not "cow". Wtf, autocorrect?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

my psychiatrist switched my meds and I changed jobs and I feel OK. Not great or back to normal but OK. Earlier I got a flat tire and my world came crumbling down. Thoughts about ending it all came back. I'm back to normal now though.

How are y'all doing?

Well … I'm here on S.S. Does that tell you anything ???

 

[defeated]

I'm beyond frustrated. Anxiety has rooted itself deep within me. My addictions have stunted whatever growing I may have had. I'm a colossal disappointment and a laughing stock. I'm poor. I'm ugly at best. And all I can really do is sit and watch others lives get better and better impotently. Society is an unsolvable Rubik's cube. It's less of a human life and more of a static existence like a doormat. Posting here probably isn't going to do much for anyone either.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

Its nice to hear you're feeling ok. Have being on meds helped you?

I'm angry, hungry and sad most the damn time. Upset with life and my family in general and generally feeling useless. Biding time til the end.

When do you think you'll do it? I'm sort of biding time too..

 

[Sensei]

Good for you that you're back on track.

I' ve been fine for a couple of weeks and I vainly thought that it would last. Now I'm beginning to become unstable again. I'm suicidal, but not acutely. It probably doesn't take much to push me over the edge right now.

 

[DeathNoot]

Not fantastic. Been worse, but I've most likely adapted as opposed to feeling better.

 

[highlyvolatile]

When do you think you'll do it? I'm sort of biding time too..

April for sure. I refuse to reach May. Its a lot i know will be going on and I don't want to be around for any of it. What about you?

 

[RottenDeer]

Exhausted. Not really hopeless or sad, just fed up.

 

[BlackPoppet]

my psychiatrist switched my meds and I changed jobs and I feel OK. Not great or back to normal but OK. Earlier I got a flat tire and my world came crumbling down. Thoughts about ending it all came back. I'm back to normal now though.

How are y'all doing?

 

[Nem]

Pure hell is the only way to describe it
Peace/hugs

 

[Marktheghost]

I'm doing awful thanks! I can't even make an appointment with the doctor at the hospital! No new appointments during the "current situation"! Isn't now just when we need health services even more?! If the community mental health team or whatever they're called aren't seeing patients, what are they doing!? Surely the mental health people haven't been re-located to deal with the Covid 19 patients?!?

 

[Kumachan]

pointless. Hopeless. Tired. Full of regret

 

[Squiddy]

I'm doing ok. Could be better, but ok. Would love for a meteor to hit me though.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

During horrible I went to my hometown to try and ctb but as I pulled the trigger in I was afraid it would hurt even though I know from countless studies and videos it won´t so now I am getting drunk and hopefully will kill myself later it´s not the way I wanted, earlier today was perfect I was at my hometown with beautiful sunny weather and 10 degrees celcius.

But I just want this overwith I am tired of repeating the same emotionless day over again like some form of Groundhog Day without emotions, friends, passions or any hopes or dreams the real me died years ago I just need to kill the body.

 

[Conker]

Despair, anger, and confusion..

Waiting to see if things are ever gonna change in a good way. Seems that nonexistence will be my inheritance, can't say that it bothers me at all since this world has been turned into a nightmarish hell devoid of much of its original color. I wonder why I'm even here in the first place.. Well, hopefully I will at least be able to have a few fun times before I dematerialize.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I feel miserable like I always do. I mean, I'm on this forum so that pretty much says it. I feel regret and constant despair. I'm waiting to see how things turn out but CTB is always in the back of my mind, no matter how much I keep this facade going on...

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Bit emo today, but I'm oke

 

[defeated]

Despair, anger, and confusion..

Waiting to see if things are ever gonna change in a good way. Seems that nonexistence will be my inheritance, can't say that it bothers me at all since this world has been turned into a nightmarish hell devoid of much of its original color. I wonder why I'm even here in the first place.. Well, hopefully I will at least be able to have a few fun times before I dematerialize.

Black metal poetry

 

[AMorteVivente]

Right now I am fine, but suicide is still my plan for the long run. Methods will hopefully be better by then.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Earlier I got a flat tire and my world came crumbling down. Thoughts about ending it all came back.

That is the same thing that I experience whenever things go wrong. It doesn't seem to matter if it's something that was my fault or out of my control, it totally destabilizes my mental state and then leaves me feeling like I don't have what it takes to live in this world and then I want to just disappear. I'm glad that you are feeling better now though.

Anyway, I've had better days, but today could be worse, so I guess it isn't terrible. What happened is I started a new med a few weeks ago and I totally forgot to take it yesterday, so my thoughts have been a bit fucked up since then, even though I took it again today.

It didn't help that I watched a debate about religion on youtube and I ended up obsessing over the topic, which led me down a slippery slope of wondering about what may or may not happen after my life ends. It caused me to become paranoid about the possible existence of a thug-like god wanting to squash me like a bug because of thought crimes. It made me want to die again, but then I was suddenly afraid of dying, and so I have started to wish I hadn't existed in the first place, so that I wouldn't have to think about this stuff.

The last couple of days have sucked, is all I can say, but things could be much worse.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

April for sure. I refuse to reach May. Its a lot i know will be going on and I don't want to be around for any of it. What about you?

I don't know, could be months or years. I'm mostly afraid of becoming homeless(I couldn't handle that) since it's so hard for me to work full time. Living with family right now and my mother's always home which is another reason I'm scared to do it cuz I do NOT want to be caught and end up in the psych ward..