I feel exactly the same. To top that, the fact that compared to others, I seemingly have a good life (good actual friends that genuinely care about me, a well paying job, a loving mother, etc.), makes me feel like an impostor, and I'm really ashamed to talk about my delusions. The prospect of life just doesn't seem appealing to me at all... It used to though, that is until I fell down the Aliens subreddit rabbit hole.
I don't really know where I'd be now, had I not spent that much time on the subreddit, but I think I am a lost cause now... I have become convinced that the U.S. government is hiding alien tech, with the purpose of weaponizing it, when they could use it to fix our actual first world problems, and to propel humanity into a much more meaningful existence. It doesn't matter how crazy it sounds really, it's not too far off from saying in 2018 that "in 10-15 years we will have AI models capable of generating short high quality videos from just a simple prompt" - meanwhile 6 years later:
Sora.
And even if it's unhealthy to ruminate over it so much, it doesn't make it less true. Seeing the advancements in the AI industry in the past couple of years, should really open up a different view angle on everything we call sci-fi as of now. It really seems like tons of things we used to see in the 70's movies are now a reality, and the process has been accelerating a lot lately. Many advancements that had a timeframe prediction of a decade or more to be implemented, became a reality much faster. Of course, space-travel is no joke, it is ACTUAL rocket science. But are we really supposed to just live on this rock for the rest of our lives? Or at best, reach other planets but within our solar system only, and take months to complete a trip? I doubt that... but at the same time, I feel like I won't live to see the day alien tech becomes real or is disclosed... that would destroy capitalism as we know it, so it's a no go :)...
