Story Hotlines are good but not perfect

[Stinger4771]

During perhaps my darkest day, I was trying to pluck up the courage to ctb and so got very drunk. I then got on the phone to the Samaritans for some time. As such, my recollection is not perfect, but I have some thoughts.


In calling them, if anything I just wanted someone to talk me out of it because I was scared. It felt kinda like postponing the inevitable.

I liked having someone to talk to. A real person with a voice. Someone that asks questions. It was refreshing. They didn't feel judgmental or pushy at all. It's also someone entirely removed from my life so (like on here) I felt like I could say whatever I wanted. I guess it's what I needed. Although, I also remember saying horrific things and laughing just because I wanted to provoke a reaction, which I didn't really get.

None of the call handlers seemed to want to go beyond about 40 minutes. I get it, I guess its a policy thing. It just felt sad that I couldn't just go on forever. I didn't feel like anything was resolved after the call was over. I kinda felt abandoned. But I called back and got to speak to someone else.

Lastly, at one point I asked the guy something along the lines of "so how did you end up here?" I guess I was curious and didn't want to think about my own situation any more. But he said that he couldn't talk about himself. I don't know why but that upset me. It felt suddenly like talking to a fake person or just a facade.

I've since seen posters for the Samaritans dotted around on bridges and railways, and it makes me feel uneasy. It takes me back to that night.

Overall though, I'm glad it's a thing. I'll probably call them again if I'm in that situation.

Anyone else have experiences / feelings on these services?

 

[riamu]

Samaritans is very hit and miss for me, I've had awesome people who will joke around with me all the way to people whos first response to 'i want to die' is 'do you have a boyfriend?'. Samaritans is wayyy better than any urgent line though, at least you know they won't call an ambulance on you and get you committed

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Since there's a ton of volunteers, YMMV. I once met a guy that was really nice and funny, he gave me the number to the poison control line when I told him that I was experimenting with drugs. Another time I talked to a woman that was not willing to go off the script and sent me copy paste messages. When I texted her a knock knock joke to try to get her to lighten up, she hung up on me. Oh well. The more competent volunteers are willing to not act like AIs and deviate off of their trained responses.

Just be careful because come lines (like 988) can use your phone number in order to find you if you say that you are going to kill yourself.

 

[pushinguppoppies]

I agree with the cautionary warnings above, the last thing most people need is to be involuntarily committed. I have had some good luck with local hotlines, but most of the time people are dismissive and downright cruel. I got told once that I was faking it for attention because I was 16. It's been years and I still think about that a lot. One time I did have a lovely conversation with a lady who was so sweet and kind to me, and she's why I still try.

I might give samaritans a try because of this thread, I need someone to talk to tonight quite badly.

 

[justaquicksnooze]

I called samaritans last month and had a pretty good experience. The lady on the phone was lovely and even laughed at a few of my shitty jokes. The only down side was that she seemed a little resistant to talking directly about suicide and the logistics of it, but I guess that's what SS is for. Also I called at peak hours so there was a 15 min wait which isn't very fun.

 

[Stinger4771]

I can't believe this was a year ago. I still think about that night. Glad I wrote it down tho