Hotel… How much time? Housekeeping? 911?

[lanahelp]

I have N. One bottle. Tried to fight and find a way to beat Lyme and the suicidal ideations borne of severe depersonalization and derealization. Rootlessness from all I once knew and mastered.

I am figuring out the best date. I live with my parents. How long
Should I allocate once consumed and what's best in terms of a note for 911? Parent notification? How cruel is it to traumatize a hotel staffer? I've always cared about others to a point of self sacrifice. So, the beach? The car which may be trackable-isn't mine and unsure
How to check. Once drunk,
N is irreversible, right?

 

[Sad_Sack]

I've thought about hotel a lot. Firstly, N will take about 30 minutes to kill you so you would have from time of check in until late morning when the maid would show up to clean the room. You can also leave a do not disturb sign and no-one will bother you until they notice you are not coming yo check out. A note could be left next to you on the bed or night table addressed to the authorities explaining that this was a completely independent action and nobody else was involved. You could leave notes for your loved ones and request that they be given to them. I wouldn't worry to much about the hotel staff. Unless you used a method that is really messy, which you arent, it shouldn't be to much of a shock.

I'm sorry about your situation. Lyme disease is horrible. I hope you can manage to fight it out but if you can't I hope you have a peaceful exit.

 

[Banshee]

What I'd do is put the do not disturb sing on the hotel door, uses the deadbolt to lock the door but do not use any latches or chains as they'd have to kick the door in. With deadbolts they can open it via key and most likely won't do that until after you were supposed to checkout. I'd make a bed in the bathtub, leave note on the locked bathroom door stating to what you've done and to call police and not to enter.

The housekeeping is very unlikely to go snooping about.

 

[lanahelp]

I've thought about hotel a lot. Firstly, N will take about 30 minutes to kill you so you would have from time of check in until late morning when the maid would show up to clean the room. You can also leave a do not disturb sign and no-one will bother you until they notice you are not coming yo check out. A note could be left next to you on the bed or night table addressed to the authorities explaining that this was a completely independent action and nobody else was involved. You could leave notes for your loved ones and request that they be given to them. I wouldn't worry to much about the hotel staff. Unless you used a method that is really messy, which you arent, it shouldn't be to much of a shock.

I'm sorry about your situation. Lyme disease is horrible. I hope you can manage to fight it out but if you can't I hope you have a peaceful exit.

This is incredibly helpful. Thank you so much for the reply. I was hoping to overcome it after 6 long years and all I have lost as I have so much left to live and give. The psychiatric pain is just too severe.

 

[Sad_Sack]

This is incredibly helpful. Thank you so much for the reply. I was hoping to overcome it after 6 long years and all I have lost as I have so much left to live and give. The psychiatric pain is just too severe.

I'm so sorry. Can I ask if the psychiatric issues arose from the Lyme entirely or were you prescribed any psych meds for Lyme symptoms and then those meds caused the depersonalization? I think a lot of the time people with chronic illness are made worse through the over use of antidepressants and benzos.

 

[lanahelp]

I'm so sorry. Can I ask if the psychiatric issues arose from the Lyme entirely or were you prescribed any psych meds for Lyme symptoms and then those meds caused the depersonalization? I think a lot of the time people with chronic illness are made worse through the over use of antidepressants and benzos.

Of course. I think mostly the latter. I have suffered from anxiety and insomnia my entire adult life. However, I managed them with meditation, work, piano, yoga, social life, etc. etc. I have taken a tiny dose of klonopin for sleep for far too many decades.

I never suffered from depression. I surely never suffered from depersonalization or derealization, with visual issues and suicidal ideations resulting, prior to Lyme and Bartonella. There is also profound PTSD along with loss of all from homes to career, life savings to community. So… a shitty confluence of many shitty factors. I'd attribute at least 70% of psych symptoms to Lyme, Bartonella, and autoimmune encephalopathy. It's hell. I've also tried and failed nearly every psych medication and interception—ketamine to anti psychotics. :(. I checked myself into a psych ward and they said I don't have a psych condition. I also spent 30 at a mental rehab place which was a full waste of time and money.

I pray you don't suffer from the same. I do run a FB group dedicated to the psychiatric manifestations of Lyme and Co-Infections. If that applies/interests, let me know and I'll send the link. Praying for your peace….