goblin99
😢
- Jan 12, 2024
- 35
So, I am about to book my hotel room. I plan to ctb on my birthday so I thought that would be a good excuse if anyone asks why I want to go to a hotel. My plan was to get an uber to the bus station, take a bus to another city, then take the uber to my hotel room (I can't currently drive because my license is suspended which completely fucks over my original plan.) I'm going to try night night but I want to find a good backup method to make sure I leave the hotel in a body bag.
My concerns are mainly to do with my housemates. My living situation is odd and complicated, I currently live with a friend's parents. My friend and her fiance live with his parents and could move back with us any time in the next couple of months. The issue is that all of them are incredibly nosy. Opening my packages and mail, yelling "you okay? whats going on?" at me when I don't leave my room for a day, etc. My original plan was to tell them that I was just wanting to take a lil trip for my birthday (hence me choosing that day in particular) but now I'm worried that they'll be nosy about why I'm going, how I'm getting there, what hotel I'm staying at, etc. I don't really want to tell them any of that. If I don't tell them that I'm going somewhere, I'm afraid they're going to go to the police to report me missing (and potentially even contact my father, which is the worst case scenario.) I plan to mail a letter to my house whenever I get out of my home city so I don't have to worry about them knowing what I've done until either the police find my body or the letter arrives at my house.
Part of the issue with being reported missing is that this will be my second suicide attempt. I'm worried they'll automatically assume I'm going to try again. One of my housemates knows I'm SH'ing again so he's the main one I'm nervous about knowing.
So, my question: should I tell my nosy ass housemates that I'm going somewhere and risk being pressed for more info or not tell them anything and risk being considered missing?
My concerns are mainly to do with my housemates. My living situation is odd and complicated, I currently live with a friend's parents. My friend and her fiance live with his parents and could move back with us any time in the next couple of months. The issue is that all of them are incredibly nosy. Opening my packages and mail, yelling "you okay? whats going on?" at me when I don't leave my room for a day, etc. My original plan was to tell them that I was just wanting to take a lil trip for my birthday (hence me choosing that day in particular) but now I'm worried that they'll be nosy about why I'm going, how I'm getting there, what hotel I'm staying at, etc. I don't really want to tell them any of that. If I don't tell them that I'm going somewhere, I'm afraid they're going to go to the police to report me missing (and potentially even contact my father, which is the worst case scenario.) I plan to mail a letter to my house whenever I get out of my home city so I don't have to worry about them knowing what I've done until either the police find my body or the letter arrives at my house.
Part of the issue with being reported missing is that this will be my second suicide attempt. I'm worried they'll automatically assume I'm going to try again. One of my housemates knows I'm SH'ing again so he's the main one I'm nervous about knowing.
So, my question: should I tell my nosy ass housemates that I'm going somewhere and risk being pressed for more info or not tell them anything and risk being considered missing?
