Help hopeless and powerless

[railinglinen]

there's nothing i can do. nothing. i've wanted to ctb since i was 13 and i just can't. and i don't know why. i don't enjoy being alive, and i feel the pain of my miserable existence every second. i've had it all in front of me. super lethal doses of everything. but i just can't seem to do it. it bothers me greatly as i consider every waking sober moment with distain, and most of the times i'm high, i'm still sad. i'm tired of being afraid that i'll get even sadder, i just want to give up. i want to give up, but nobody wants to make it easy. they want me to continue to suffer so they don't have to deal with my funeral. i just want it to be over.

 

[DeecyTee]

I feel you there. I'll have what I need in front of me, and then I can't do it. The one time I was able to down a bunch of pills I panicked and called 911 like a dumbass.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be dreadful feeling so trapped in that situation but anyway I wish you the best, it's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering.