Hope is the worst feeling ever

[Stroopwafel.]

There's nothing that makes me feeling more depressed then hope. I hate hope. I hate that I still feel hope every now and then.

I had to start new therapy and I knew this fucking feeling of hope would come with it. Trying something for the 2948382th time, knowing that it's not gonna work, but still there's always this tiiiiiiny part of hope that comes with it. I know it's false hope, I know. I hate that feeling of hope. I went to bed when I got back home and got drunk. I feel too depressed today to get out of my bed. I just wanna lay in bed all day and cry.

Why do I still get this hope whenever I start something new? I know it's not gonna work. It just makes me feel more depressed and suicidal. I know there's nothing going to happen that's gonna help me. I know the only thing that wil help me is death. That's what's gonna help me. And I can't wait until I finally find the courage to do it.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Oh I fucking hate it... especially the disappointment that come with hope and it comes eventually. It's the worst feeling ever when your hopes get crushed over and over again and you know better but chose to disregard your instincts anyway. It eats you up inside. Ungh.

 

[slyna]

Hope is the mother of rick roll

And remember folks - There is no human security

 

[Stroopwafel.]

Oh I fucking hate it... especially the disappointment that come with hope and it comes eventually. It's the worst feeling ever when your hopes get crushed over and over again and you know better but chose to disregard your instincts anyway. It eats you up inside. Ungh.

Exactly this! I know I will get disappointed again. I know it will hurt me again. But still I try again.

Many people tell me hope is a wonderful and good thing, and I'm just confused because it's the worst feeling ever to me. It's ruining me. It's making me feel so bad. It's eventually making me CTB.

 

[Phosphophyllite]

It really is. In fact, my hopes being crushed for the millionth time recently is why I currently want to commit suicide. I'd rather have no hope than false hope.

 

[Lost Magic]

Great post and I agree. Hope is a terrible distraction from the true horrors of reality.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I used to think being hopeful is harmless. But lately I've been feeling the opposite. These little bits of hope that I feel now and then only make things worse…. I think it's my brain is trying to trick me, switching on stupid SI. Hope is just another form of SI…..

 

[puppet_nihilist]

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[Hurt]

I hate hope too. When something good happens then something bad happens and ruins everything
.. im kinda don3 with this.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I learnt to just say "no" to life. I will myself not to live, as life is pointless task.
I am sorry my family will loose their love object, but I cannot them force me to do something that I do not agree with,
which is to live in this system.

 

[deadverysoon]

thats why i gave up on everything - i do not hope anymore that anything will get better for me.

because it never will.

but i had this hope for a loooong time. and were always put down again. every time even worse. and i tried with everything i had left in me.

so i set a date to 01.06. of this year. it was my last try and very clear for me that i will not try out anything anymore after that.

this world is just a bitch and i learned the more you lie and cheat the more you will achieve. but i cant live that way. so i just quit.

hope is something for a hollywood movie. not for people who were treated like shit in thr real world.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see hope as depressing too. If I have had any in the past, it has just been taken away. Having hope is just something to lose, something to cause you feelings of disappointment. At this point, I have accepted that everything is hopeless for me and I no longer have any hope. I know that ctb is inevitable for me.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

There's nothing that makes me feeling more depressed then hope. I hate hope. I hate that I still feel hope every now and then.

I had to start new therapy and I knew this fucking feeling of hope would come with it. Trying something for the 2948382th time, knowing that it's not gonna work, but still there's always this tiiiiiiny part of hope that comes with it. I know it's false hope, I know. I hate that feeling of hope. I went to bed when I got back home and got drunk. I feel too depressed today to get out of my bed. I just wanna lay in bed all day and cry.

Why do I still get this hope whenever I start something new? I know it's not gonna work. It just makes me feel more depressed and suicidal. I know there's nothing going to happen that's gonna help me. I know the only thing that wil help me is death. That's what's gonna help me. And I can't wait until I finally find the courage to do it.

yeah, i agree Hope is an illusion that just leads to disapointment and even lower lows. I don't even bother having hope at my therapy sessions. i have pcos and people, ike my mom and my doctors try to make me feel hope whenever i try something new for weight loss. yett, i get let down everytime. they try to make me feel hope when i start a new job, but i end up not being smart enough each time. they try to make me feel hope for my graphic design degree and jobs there, but i know i'm not smart enough for that either. i just hate hope and wish people would stop trying to shove it down my throat. people like me can't afford hope. don't even say the h word...i swear to god...

 

[Snake of Eden]

Hope is the carrot at the end of the stick that our SI uses to trick us into staying here. It works everytime like a charm

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Hope is the carrot at the end of the stick that our SI uses to trick us into staying here. It works everytime like a charm

EXACTLY. I'm tired of the manipulation.

It really is. In fact, my hopes being crushed for the millionth time recently is why I currently want to commit suicide. I'd rather have no hope than false hope.

whats SI?

 

[Snake of Eden]

EXACTLY. I'm tired of the manipulation.

whats SI?

It takes a bold strike to break the stick

 

[One day too late]

Yea hope is that's why I have given up on hope. It gives me nothing but disappointment and pain.

 

[enau]

i have the intention to tell the naruto's filler episodes in therapy to prevent any hope or attempt to make sense of the suffering .Still better option of my time to watch it as a total waste and make fun of it than to tell again and again my traumas and pains over and over and play this horrible patient / doctor bdsm role play

 

[Deltrus]

EXACTLY. I'm tired of the manipulation.

whats SI?

Survival instinct.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I wouldn't say is a terrible feeling. A crushed hope is.

Hope makes people go forward, even in the darkest moments, however for some of us, we already know what's in the end of the tunnel. That's what makes us depressed.
A therapist would say "You can never know the future.". No, I can't, but I can recall that the last 3k times before, my hopes were crushed, so I'm not wrong to expect the worst.
Pessimism? Well, yes, of course. Unfortunately that's what life became to me.