Honest question

[humanhuman]

Could I ever convince my friends to not be sad about me dying, to just pretend that i never existed and let it go?

 

[depressedmaniac]

Well it really depends on your friends. Just talking suicidal will have alot of them just fuck off which will leave very few who understand. The very few friends I have understand and tell me they get it. The ones who dont understand your suffering dont get it or care anyway so I wouldnt worry about it. just my opinion.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I think it depends on your friends and your relationship to them. If they're really uncaring it might be easy. But for most people that wouldn't be the case and it would be hard to get over. Some people might be able to accept it more than others and try to honor your wishes more but it again comes down to who your friends are. They might not want to pretend you never existed as well even if the thought might bring you comfort. Everyone is different so I'm not sure if there's an exact answer to this, I think it varies.

 

[humanhuman]

I think it depends on your friends and your relationship to them. If they're really uncaring it might be easy. But for most people that wouldn't be the case and it would be hard to get over. Some people might be able to accept it more than others and try to honor your wishes more but it again comes down to who your friends are. They might not want to pretend you never existed as well even if the thought might bring you comfort. Everyone is different so I'm not sure if there's an exact answer to this, I think it varies.

Sigh, you're right and being realistic. I don't know what to do though. I am done barely existing with unbearable pain and anguish from multiple deeply traumatic events, but I don't want to whip my friends into that same pain. Especially since some of them have had very normal, pleasant lives, and this would be their first traumatic event. I'd be doing what my abusers did to me, collapsing the essence of someone's being. But where the hell does that leave me?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Isn't that like telling someone how to feel? Not possible, IMO. I suppose you could do some things to them, like right now, to make them hate your guts. Problem solved.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Sigh, you're right and being realistic. I don't know what to do though. I am done barely existing with unbearable pain and anguish from multiple deeply traumatic events, but I don't want to whip my friends into that same pain. Especially since some of them have had very normal, pleasant lives, and this would be their first traumatic event. I'd be doing what my abusers did to me, collapsing the essence of someone's being. But where the hell does that leave me?

No one can make a choice for you and it's different from person to person what we can take. We all have a breaking point. As much as I don't want to hurt anyone I've lived nearly my whole life for others and I want to do something to end my own pain. For me that takes the form of leaving, but others can pursue treatment or recovery. I'm not sure what all you've tried but that's an option as well. I think many of us are in the same state of trying to mitigate the impact we'll cause when we leave, be it through distancing ourselves, or telling others the truth of how we feel, or writing notes. I'm not sure if this will be helpful, it's just thoughts. I struggle a lot with this topic too, I hate to cause pain to anyone, but in the end it can be inescapable. Life is fraught with pain or else we probably wouldn't end up where we are now, suffering and wanting an end to it.

 

[Kismet]

Tough one. I don't think there's any way to convince someone not to grieve, but you can soften the blow and offer closure. A note explaining will help but it will also raise more questions and hurt just the same

You could begin pushing the person away by being mean to them, but that is easier said than done.

People tend to want more what they can't have and when you ctb, you'll be in that bracket on a few different levels. It'll be tough on most people that know you.

That's just my take

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I for one try to hint around at family that this will happen so the blow will be softened when it actually does, however they seem to be in denial. Sometimes denial is the safest place to be.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not think so, I feel like if they are close to you, they will be sad no matter what, but the way that I see it, death and loss are inevitable in life, we will all die and lose everything eventually someday. I could personally never stay alive and suffer just for the sake of others. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

If they were easily convinced not to be sad you died, would you really say they were your friends?

 

[Al Cappella]

Could I ever convince my friends to not be sad about me dying, to just pretend that i never existed and let it go?

No. Our friends are completely entitled to feel how they feel, and we can't say a thing about it. Nor should we. I mean, certainly we can give our views if asked, but that's it.

 

[FallingGrace]

I have considered this in the past and in order to pull it off, you need to be really sure you wanna CTB. You then do something unforgivable. A minor crime that goes against one of their core beliefs, a betrayal, suddenly start being really xenophobic. If pulled off correctly, they won't be as bummed out as they would have originally been.