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Shinobu

Shinobu

Ignorance is bliss.
Apr 5, 2023
63
Does anyone experience such bad Homicidal thoughts about the people who treated them wrongly. Struggling with it right now, Id probably CTB before I acted on any of them but the thoughts are still there and they're very strong.
 
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Liebestod

Liebestod

Prynce of Suicide
Mar 15, 2025
156
I had homicidal and violent thoughts in general, not about specific people who did me wrong. I don't have them as much anymore though.
 
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progressingdeath

progressingdeath

Member
May 24, 2024
27
I absolutely have them. Between BPD and finding it easier to commit a crime and die from something heinous I've done, however, I'd rather do it myself. I've never had the act to do those actions. I guess that's the only thing that differentiates me
I absolutely have them. Between BPD and finding it easier to commit a crime and die from something heinous I've done, however, I'd rather do it myself. I've never had the act to do those actions. I guess that's the only thing that differentiates me
I absolutely couldn't do it anyways. No means, no drive due to depression and laziness, a sense of happiness and love. It's the edginess in us all. I've definitely been close but never got to it. Particularly when I was young and being abused and tried to kill my step father for abusing me
 
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Shinobu

Shinobu

Ignorance is bliss.
Apr 5, 2023
63
Yes. Two people.
same here, i dont really know what to do about them, not like I could act out on them even if I want to since I do not have the means to do so
 
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I

itsgone2

Student
Sep 21, 2025
104
same here, i dont really know what to do about them, not like I could act out on them even if I want to since I do not have the means to do so
In the past, over 10 years ago now, I went through a situation where I was admitted to a facility because I was so suicidal. Family took me because of how much I talked about it, and I was making attempts.
Then, until recently, I recovered enough that I didn't think about it. At times during that period I thought of getting a gun, protection I guess, it I've never been into guns and I didn't want the temptation.
Now, I wish I had bought one. But what would I do? I currently have the means and plan for fsh yet I haven't done it. I test it out, but then just stand there. So would I use the gun on enemies or myself? Probably not. Still, wish I had the option. I have so little energy now I can't envision getting one.
 
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Shinobu

Shinobu

Ignorance is bliss.
Apr 5, 2023
63
In the past, over 10 years ago now, I went through a situation where I was admitted to a facility because I was so suicidal. Family took me because of how much I talked about it, and I was making attempts.
Then, until recently, I recovered enough that I didn't think about it. At times during that period I thought of getting a gun, protection I guess, it I've never been into guns and I didn't want the temptation.
Now, I wish I had bought one. But what would I do? I currently have the means and plan for fsh yet I haven't done it. I test it out, but then just stand there. So would I use the gun on enemies or myself? Probably not. Still, wish I had the option. I have so little energy now I can't envision getting one.
Exactly I feel the same way like I wish I had a gun just for the option of using it on someone else or myself but now I don't even have the option just gotta sit here with myself with all these thoughts building up inside with no way to release them.
 
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Upon a hanging Body

Upon a hanging Body

October will cure me
Jan 5, 2025
1,126
I usually keep my homicidal thoughts to myself... but I have them often and I have actually done bad things to people because of them.

Bpd fucking sucks
 
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Shinobu

Shinobu

Ignorance is bliss.
Apr 5, 2023
63
I absolutely have them. Between BPD and finding it easier to commit a crime and die from something heinous I've done, however, I'd rather do it myself. I've never had the act to do those actions. I guess that's the only thing that differentiates me

I absolutely couldn't do it anyways. No means, no drive due to depression and laziness, a sense of happiness and love. It's the edginess in us all. I've definitely been close but never got to it. Particularly when I was young and being abused and tried to kill my step father for abusing me
thats valid I also when I was young tried to kill my stepmom because of her constant verbal abuse. alot of the times I fantasize about doing something bad like killing others (specifically ones I feel like have wronged me) and then CTB
I usually keep my homicidal thoughts to myself... but I have them often and I have actually done bad things to people because of them.

Bpd fucking sucks
yea im thinking/suspecting I have some serious case of BPD or im just insane I show many BPD symptoms just never been able to get a diagnosis due to well america health care fucking sucks and no time
 
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RestlessTaiga

RestlessTaiga

I'm glad you're evil too
May 18, 2025
27
Sometimes, I know I can't act on them, and a really don't want too, but sometimes, I really wish I could.
 
liquid jen

liquid jen

Blind painting, my body's a disease
Sep 9, 2025
22
Not really for anybody in particular, but yeah they get overwhelming sometimes. I know full well i could never act though, and would sooner take myself out. Still upsetting to deal with them though, there's ZERO way to bring them up with normal people.
 
Michelstaedter

Michelstaedter

Experienced
Feb 25, 2025
233
I always did, in fact if I could I would... There are people who don't deserve to live. I even regret that many of you die and others who cause so much harm remain alive...
 
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Vlad Tepes

Vlad Tepes

Student
Jun 24, 2025
154
Yes. I've had them ever since I was young and I can basically always recall classmates commenting on how disturbed they were by the morbid and violent things I said (which seemed completely normal to me). When I was younger I used to fantasize about hurting my bullies, and I do still fantasize about killing both of my parents, but Im certainly never going to actually do that.
 

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