hollow_eyes
Member
- Oct 25, 2023
- 11
Lately I've noticed that I'm just not the same person anymore. Most of my socializing had become distant half hearted responses - I feel so detached from all my friends and even life itself. And you'd think I'd feel numb, as I'm always dissociating, but in reality there's just so much emotional and psychological pain that I just can't put into words all the time, sometimes the only way to deal with it is to zone out. And I would love to socialize and spend times with friends and really get into my classes but it feels like all the life has been sucked out of me and I'm just a living corpse. At this point I just want to be a corpse. A dead one. Why does it have to be like this? Where did I go wrong? Why can't I just do what I really want to do, instead I'm stuck in this loop of intense everything - anguish, sadness, anxiety - or just empty nothingness when I really do want to be full of anything but sadness. I need energy and I need love and I need support and friendship and kindness but I guess no one gets what they need. I'd be better off dead at this point. Does anyone know how to find something to fill me up again, or am I destined to just be hollow eyes forever?
