Holiday Sobriety?

[hermestrimegistus]

Is it possible to make it through the holidays? Especially when alone and suicidal? Anybody just say fuck it and get fucked up? Or is it actually possible to stay sober during this time period? I don't know what to do. Feels like it would just be easier to drown myself but also know if I do, I'm going to want to CTB more than I normally do. I'm losing my nerve to try and keep my shit together. I don't even know what the point is anymore. I have nothing to live for. No way to get better. And something about the holidays just reminds me of everything I'll never have