Hi I’m new and I need help

[Vminx23]

Does anyone feel guilty about CTB? I don't. I'm just scared of screwing it up and surviving.

 

[MrDarkness]

If you survive, take it as another chance of life, or don't, personally it really depends the method on how you plan on dying and what could screw up

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

That is why low suspension was my top choice because I could practice it until I have the confidence to do it correctly, but then SI kicked in and I am thankful that it only gave me dizziness for a few days instead of brain injury.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm just scared of screwing it up and surviving.

Good. You should be. Maybe this fear will guide your learning about everything regarding your chosen method and doing every possible thing you can in order to not screw up. A little fear can be a good thing. In this case, it certainly is.

 

[Vminx23]

If you survive, take it as another chance of life, or don't, personally it really depends the method on how you plan on dying and what could screw up

Oh I do not want another chance. I've lived 49 years and that's too much. I was thinking of the SN route. I read you should take it with an anemetic (sp?) and an antacid. I will get a hotel room and do it as soon as I check in, so no one will find me for at least 18 hours. I need to find out how much of each I need to take.

 

[loyalskateboard]

It's going to destroy my family so yes I feel guilty. Like... I'm not exaggerating, it's going to fuck everything up.

I just can't tolerate this world or life. They will understand, deep down, but it's going to be hard. Very hard.

 

[alonely]

i don't feel guilty. there is no one in my life who would know or care. besides, there is no "feel" after ctb.

 

[Vminx23]

It's going to destroy my family so yes I feel guilty. Like... I'm not exaggerating, it's going to fuck everything up.

I just can't tolerate this world or life. They will understand, deep down, but it's going to be hard. Very hard.

It will destroy mine too. And quite honestly, my mom deserves it. Narcissistic selfish woman. Aside from her being upset, she will be alone (my dad died 2 yrs ago and I'm all she has), and penniless since I left my home (which she lives in), savings, and retirement to a charity. And my lawyer has a sealed letter to deliver to her upon my death, as well as to other family members who need to know what she is.

 

[suicidalloser]

guilty about what? ending my chronic pain? would you assume everyone here has family, friends, someone who gives a care about them? the reality is, that's not true, for me too.

 

[loyalskateboard]

It will destroy mine too. And quite honestly, my mom deserves it. Narcissistic selfish woman. Aside from her being upset, she will be alone (my dad died 2 yrs ago and I'm all she has), and penniless since I left my home (which she lives in), savings, and retirement to a charity. And my lawyer has a sealed letter to deliver to her upon my death, as well as to other family members who need to know what she is.

Well, it sounds like she is a complete piece of shit. I wouldn't feel guilty for what happens to abusive parents. I'm so sorry that your family is like that.

 

[Vminx23]

i don't feel guilty. there is no one in my life who would know or care. besides, there is no "feel" after ctb.

Ah yes…it's something I forget since the only existence I know is this. You are totally right.

guilty about what? ending my chronic pain? would you assume everyone here has family, friends, someone who gives a care about them? the reality is, that's not true, for me too.

Me either really. I have told my plans to friends. Maybe hoping they'd say not to do it. They didn't though. They just said that it's sad and they will miss me.

Well, it sounds like she is a complete piece of shit. I wouldn't feel guilty for what happens to abusive parents. I'm so sorry that your family is like that.

I am sorry too. I was sexually abused as a small child by a cousin who my parents ADORED. And I was forced to witness that adoration my entire life while I, their only child, suffered in silence. I told them what happened and they did nothing.

 

[sayire]

Does anyone feel guilty about CTB? I don't. I'm just scared of screwing it up and surviving.

Yes CTB should be a right for everyone to very rationally decide about their life.

as it is going to be the last and biggest decision of your life it should be planned carefully and fear is a good thing to make sure you consider things well.

all the best in finding your path to peace.

 

[Vminx23]

Yes CTB should be a right for everyone to very rationally decide about their life.

as it is going to be the last and biggest decision of your life it should be planned carefully and fear is a good thing to make sure you consider things well.

all the best in finding your path to peace.

Thank you. It's so refreshing to be amongst others who understand and who aren't preaching at me about how I'll go to hell, or how I'm selfish.

 

[MrDarkness]

Oh I do not want another chance. I've lived 49 years and that's too much. I was thinking of the SN route. I read you should take it with an anemetic (sp?) and an antacid. I will get a hotel room and do it as soon as I check in, so no one will find me for at least 18 hours. I need to find out how much of each I need to take.

There is plenty of guides on the website, Stan's guide is good, I hope your able to find peace

 

[Nephis]

Yes, I do feel guilty, this would likely hurt my parents, my sister, and my SO a lot, but in the end I have to decide what is best for me and if I'm willing to continue living while being an incredible burden on them.

Granted the reason this all happened or is happening is all thanks to the country I live in, but I have no choice but to do so, since it's all I have left that I can do, I will die, I will be at peace and maybe just maybe I'll be reborn as someone new, in a happy stable life. But for now all I can do is feel guilty, move forward with my death, and just remember that at the end of the day, the world screwed me up, dragged me through the mud, and showed me a glint of light only to then take it away from me while it impales me on top of a spire for all to see.

~I hope for me, a new me, and the hope of all

 

[Vminx23]

There is plenty of guides on the website, Stan's guide is good, I hope your able to find peace

How do I find his guide? Navigating this forum is confusing for an old hag like me.

 

[suicidalloser]

Yes CTB should be a right for everyone to very rationally decide about their life.

as it is going to be the last and biggest decision of your life it should be planned carefully and fear is a good thing to make sure you consider things well.

all the best in finding your path to peace.

It's a right, plain and simple, no need to sprinkle in pro-life babble into the wound.

 

[Vminx23]

Yes, I do feel guilty, this would likely hurt my parents, my sister, and my SO a lot, but in the end I have to decide what is best for me and if I'm willing to continue living while being an incredible burden on them.

Granted the reason this all happened or is happening is all thanks to the country I live in, but I have no choice but to do so, since it's all I have left that I can do, I will die, I will be at peace and maybe just maybe I'll be reborn as someone new, in a happy stable life. But for now all I can do is feel guilty, move forward with my death, and just remember that at the end of the day, the world screwed me up, dragged me through the mud, and showed me a glint of light only to then take it away from me while it impales me on top of a spire for all to see.

~I hope for me, a new me, and the hope of all

I understand and feel your pain. Life is just really crappy for some of us. While others seem to have no issues at all.

 

[MrDarkness]

How do I find his guide? Navigating this forum is confusing for an old hag like me.

Find the search bar, and type stans sn guide. It's right next to the chat bubble on the top

 

[Neuromancer]

Oh I do not want another chance. I've lived 49 years and that's too much. I was thinking of the SN route. I read you should take it with an anemetic (sp?) and an antacid. I will get a hotel room and do it as soon as I check in, so no one will find me for at least 18 hours. I need to find out how much of each I need to take.

I must congrate you, Vminx23, for enduring such long time on this earth. I can't imagine myself going so far as you. I admire you!

 

[bunsïy]

I must congrate you, Vminx23, for enduring such long time on this earth. I can't imagine myself going so far as you. I admire you!

I agree! It is very admirable. I don't think I could do it myself.

I'm sorry life has led you to this point.
Here's the link to Stan's guide I noticed you were asking about it as I don't think you have access to the search bar yet. I also included the link to Vizzys guide as well since I think it's also very informative.

SN - A Comprehensive guide including method

Sodium Nitrite (SN) Method Introduction This document has been designed to give a full understanding of SN, what it is, how it works and how to use it. It will use the most simplest way of delivering this information as many members do not have English as their first language. Therefore...

sanctioned-suicide.net

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-method-comprehensive-guide-sn-method.121672/

I wish you well with whatever you decide to do in the future.

 

[Vminx23]

Find the search bar, and type stans sn guide. It's right next to the chat bubble on the top

Thanks found it!

 

[FuneralCry]

No, never as the reality is that none of us are obligated to continue suffering until we die anyway, we all have our right to die and for me the only relief lies in death. Failing a suicide attempt is what sounds so horrible to me as well, I hate how we exist in a world where suicide is purposely made so difficult where we are denied access to peaceful and guaranteed suicide methods.

 

[bevutifulsorrow]

Does anyone feel guilty about CTB? I don't. I'm just scared of screwing it up and surviving.

I do and only because I've been unsuccessful