wildflowercloud
Member
- Jun 6, 2023
- 55
Hey y'all, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) system here just letting you know in case there is any confusion with how we write and talk about our experiences.
Things have been incredibly intense. Our system is in chaotic ruins. The trauma that runs through our bones is eating away at us from the inside out and the outside in and there is so much fucking agony for EVERY alter in our polyfragmented system. We have been teetering on the edge of suicide for so long. It's December and we didn't think we'd make it this year, and we're not feeling good about making it this far because the suffering is immense and we just need to do it. I know we need to do it, and we have EVERY intention too, it's just finding that right moment that we're struggling to pin down at the moment.
We are still pretty open to the multiple methods we've thought about before, but especially set on cutting, but am now thinking instead of the radial artery, to go for the carotid. Likely messier, but potentially more effective. We've got partial hanging as a back up plan, and jumping as a back up back up plan. But we're hoping SO much that the cutting works when we find this right moment.
Our system is in a dire state. We know that we can't keep up in this life for long. We're losing more and more control.
We aren't made for this world. We know we need to go, and we know we desperately want to go, just got to do it tbh. It's scary but also so comforting and relieving and peace-inducing to think about and plan and imagine and hope.
We still plan on doing a goodbye post on here when the moment happens.
That's where we're at for now. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive since we've come to this site! Y'all are awesome
Things have been incredibly intense. Our system is in chaotic ruins. The trauma that runs through our bones is eating away at us from the inside out and the outside in and there is so much fucking agony for EVERY alter in our polyfragmented system. We have been teetering on the edge of suicide for so long. It's December and we didn't think we'd make it this year, and we're not feeling good about making it this far because the suffering is immense and we just need to do it. I know we need to do it, and we have EVERY intention too, it's just finding that right moment that we're struggling to pin down at the moment.
We are still pretty open to the multiple methods we've thought about before, but especially set on cutting, but am now thinking instead of the radial artery, to go for the carotid. Likely messier, but potentially more effective. We've got partial hanging as a back up plan, and jumping as a back up back up plan. But we're hoping SO much that the cutting works when we find this right moment.
Our system is in a dire state. We know that we can't keep up in this life for long. We're losing more and more control.
We aren't made for this world. We know we need to go, and we know we desperately want to go, just got to do it tbh. It's scary but also so comforting and relieving and peace-inducing to think about and plan and imagine and hope.
We still plan on doing a goodbye post on here when the moment happens.
That's where we're at for now. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive since we've come to this site! Y'all are awesome
