wildflowercloud

wildflowercloud

Member
Jun 6, 2023
59
Hey y'all, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) system here just letting you know in case there is any confusion with how we write and talk about our experiences.

Things have been incredibly intense. Our system is in chaotic ruins. The trauma that runs through our bones is eating away at us from the inside out and the outside in and there is so much fucking agony for EVERY alter in our polyfragmented system. We have been teetering on the edge of suicide for so long. It's December and we didn't think we'd make it this year, and we're not feeling good about making it this far because the suffering is immense and we just need to do it. I know we need to do it, and we have EVERY intention too, it's just finding that right moment that we're struggling to pin down at the moment.

We are still pretty open to the multiple methods we've thought about before, but especially set on cutting, but am now thinking instead of the radial artery, to go for the carotid. Likely messier, but potentially more effective. We've got partial hanging as a back up plan, and jumping as a back up back up plan. But we're hoping SO much that the cutting works when we find this right moment.

Our system is in a dire state. We know that we can't keep up in this life for long. We're losing more and more control.

We aren't made for this world. We know we need to go, and we know we desperately want to go, just got to do it tbh. It's scary but also so comforting and relieving and peace-inducing to think about and plan and imagine and hope.

We still plan on doing a goodbye post on here when the moment happens.

That's where we're at for now. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive since we've come to this site! Y'all are awesome 🫶🏻
 
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Reactions: LoiteringClouds, pole, SVEN and 4 others
justcallmeJ

justcallmeJ

<3
Nov 9, 2023
408
Im sorry you and your alters suffer from this, I can imagine its very hard for you all. I wish you all the best <3
 
Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
Did sucks! I have had it my whole life, but paradoxically I have been very function in sociaty etc etc.no Mather how lost I have been in my own world. Working out 5 times a week helped me to keep it in balance. Just a tip! But I feel you so very much 😔

Thankfully it doesn't happen to often anymore, I can sometimesi could walk around in.circels trying to fiend the right road etc. Pay bus tickets twice. Etc etc 😂🙈🙊

Did you go to therapy for it nye?
Lots of love to you my friend ❤️ And I wish you all the best. 🌿
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,938
I hope that you all eventually find the freedom you search for, it sounds so horrible what you've all been through, I understand why you'd feel relief at the thought of being gone.
 

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