Hesitation

[FailerQt.]

Finally, at long last I managed to collect everything I need to ctb (hopefully). I was looking forward to this for so long. So why am I hesitating now? Why am I just putting it off? Even after something that happened just recently what I thought was the final push, I still can't bring myself to even prepare the bag. I wonder why despite knowing it won't ever get better or fixed.

 

[weisel]

Cuz u still have hope. Ofc at that point it is the mind's instinctual survival mechanism. It is the mind tricking u out of doing it.

 

[90starve]

im in the same boat right now, as are many others. i feel your pain and frustration. when the time is right, you'll be able to go through with it <3

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I plan to have plenty of liquid courage in me when the time comes.

 

[FuneralCry]

After all it's just not straightforward to cease existing on our own terms, as even if one is aware that suicide is what they truly wish for, they are still programmed to survive.

 

[R_N]

Maybe it is not enough. I thought my sleep being decimated by pharma would be my final straw 4 years ago but it didn't.

Didn't help I got a bit better sleep wise I guess. Enough to enjoy some hobbies and postpone the departure.