Venting Here's the plan for later tonight/very early morning.

[dead lightbulb]

I'm going to down half a water bottle of 40% whiskey while the noose is around my neck, then get into position. Get a ziptie tie it around my hands semi-tight so I don't back out. get as comfortable as possible. pass out. suffocate to death. I've never had alcohol before and I'm scared. It's the last day of October I promised myself I'd do it this month I've been stalling every weekend. This fear has been impossible to shake and that's why I got alcohol. I have to wait for my siblings friends to leave first because it is Halloween. my father is home but hopefully will be asleep by that time.

 

[Rounded Agony]

I would rethink the alcohol part if you have never had it. It isn't some magic elixir that suddenly calms you - it's poison, effects everyone differently, and the amount you're planning to drink could be a huge wrench in the gears. You might get really sick and just puke right away. Please consider things carefully. October is only your deadline and no one will judge you if you don't do it today.

 

[dead lightbulb]

I would rethink the alcohol part if you have never had it. It isn't some magic elixir that suddenly calms you - it's poison, effects everyone differently, and the amount you're planning to drink could be a huge wrench in the gears. You might get really sick and just puke right away. Please consider things carefully. October is only your deadline and no one will judge you if you don't do it today.

How much should I drink to make me drunk enough to stop thinking?

 

[Rounded Agony]

I can't answer that. You've never had it; there's no way to know how it will effect you. It's a drug and like any drug the effects vary between people, for many reasons. It introduces a large unknown into your plan and it seems you're already not very comfortable with the known elements you do have.

 

[FuneralCry]

Hanging does scare me as a method, but I've always envied those who have managed to succeed with it. I wish you freedom from suffering for when the time is right for you to leave this world.

 

[dead lightbulb]

Should I take tiny sips leading up to it? I heard people pass out from from doing that before they can cbt, then I'll be found passed out with whiskey near me which doesn't look good. How do I let go so I don't think before I hang myself?

 

[Rounded Agony]

Should I take tiny sips leading up to it? I heard people pass out from from doing that before they can cbt, then I'll be found passed out with whiskey near me which doesn't look good. How do I let go so I don't think before I hang myself?

If you're trying to avoid thinking, that might be a sign you aren't prepared for this. Maybe one exists but I don't know of any substance that just turns out your thought process while still allowing you do to something as complex as execute your own death. Alcohol is a depressant meaning it depresses the nervous system. Some people get happy when they drink. Some get sad. Some get hyper, some get tired. It doesn't just "turn your brain off" in any dose less that's going to restrict your motor skills to a point that will likely impair a hanging attempt. You have no idea what effect it will have on you. An anti-anxiety med sounds like what you want, which alcohol is not. I would say either leave it out, or take some time (days, weeks) to figure out how it affects you personally.

 

[dead lightbulb]

If you're trying to avoid thinking, that might be a sign you aren't prepared for this. Maybe one exists but I don't know of any substance that just turns out your thought process while still allowing you do to something as complex as execute your own death. Alcohol is a depressant meaning it depresses the nervous system. Some people get happy when they drink. Some get sad. Some get hyper, some get tired. It doesn't just "turn your brain off" in any dose less that's going to restrict your motor skills to a point that will likely impair a hanging attempt. You have no idea what effect it will have on you. An anti-anxiety med sounds like what you want, which alcohol is not. I would say either leave it out, or take some time (days, weeks) to figure out how it affects you personally.

Yeah I admit my SI is getting in the way of finally cbting. But when am I ever going to be prepared? I just gotta get it over with. I'll take a sip tonight and see what it does to me.

 

[Hollowillow]

Practice drunk? I practiced partoal hanging. Hoped to pass out. Panicked when almost. Really tried the 3rd time. Maybe next... New rope new way.... Instead on handle too low... Wanted to pass rope above door... Test someday. Or sn first. Scared lonely... But life over. Only violence & physical torture. Can be saved. No one wants

 

[assisted]

are you still here? what's going on? how did you get to where you are today? are you going to leave any notes or messages for anyone?

 

[Sad_Sack]

I'm going to down half a water bottle of 40% whiskey while the noose is around my neck, then get into position. Get a ziptie tie it around my hands semi-tight so I don't back out. get as comfortable as possible. pass out. suffocate to death. I've never had alcohol before and I'm scared. It's the last day of October I promised myself I'd do it this month I've been stalling every weekend. This fear has been impossible to shake and that's why I got alcohol. I have to wait for my siblings friends to leave first because it is Halloween. my father is home but hopefully will be asleep by that time.

You aren't going to just pass out from it. If what you are saying is that you intend on standing there with a noose around your neck until you pass out causing your legs to give away and the noise to tighten thus will not work. Alcohol isn't anesthesia. If you even pass out it would be hours later and you wouldn't know it was coming. Most likely, since you haven't drank before and you are going straight to whiskey, you will throw up. Also, while alcohol definitely lower inhibitions, it probably wouldnt help with SI. It might make it way easier to get into a dangerous situation like a fight with a stranger but as for making it easier to consciously end your life I don't see it helping. That's just me though and alcohol is frequently involved in suicides so who knows. Passing out with the noose around your neck though will just not work.

 

[Nikki2020]

are you still here?

 

[dead lightbulb]

are you still here?

Yes. I fell asleep and woke up about 10 minutes ago at 12:50. Wondering how I bring myself to do it. I'm most likely going to fall back to sleep again despite everything. I'm just too unsure and my SI isn't helping. I don't want to be alive but it's so hard to go through with actually killing myself. Wishing it was an easier process.