Any hope disappeared today. This has accelerated my timeline. I so wanted to be happy and live a normal life. I know I can never have that. Tomorrow night will be the run to the end. Life is too difficult to face. In the end there was nothing left for me. The one person who couldve saved me seemed to want to but i was wrong. I was 14 when i first tried today im 58. Lost everything because i didnt notice what i had. BDP is a terrible illness, its taken everything from me. I want out now but feel i need to clean everything up before i go. So thats tomorrow and then Sunday oblivion and the void. If this fails next attempt will be dreadful and messy. No one cares and no one will miss me. The world will be a better place without me.
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Cathy Ames
Cautionary Tale
- Mar 11, 2022
- 2,109
I am so sorry that hope has left you. I know that is a devastating moment... a major turning point.
Thanks Cathy. Unfortunately this seems to be the only constant in my life. Wish I could have a turning point that was positive
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,569
I'm sorry that you have suffered so unbearably in life. Living really is so painful and I understand that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless. I hope that you find what you are looking for.
Final night. Funny thing is it would have been easier for me to change my mind but I was just dreaming. Feeling calm once again. Its about mindset and really having a feeling of complete resolve. Oh well it begins.
I hope that you have resolve to do what you think is best. I don't know about BPD personally but from limited knowledge I have, it is a death sentence in LOT of cases.
It's not fair you've been dealt this hand. I am sorry for the suffering life has caused you.
It's not fair you've been dealt this hand. I am sorry for the suffering life has caused you.
Dead Meat
DOOMED
- Oct 10, 2018
- 18,394
I'm sorry chippyboy you have to go through this and my best wishes that you get the peace you so richly deserve, 
MsMaudlin
This is the fierce last stand of all I am
- Dec 8, 2019
- 875
I'm so sorry chippyboy. Life can be absolutely unbearable.
I hope the path you take is as peaceful as possible for you.
Much love
❤
I hope the path you take is as peaceful as possible for you.
Much love
❤
