Story helpline girl called the cops on me

[just cant]

How is sending the police to someone's house "help?" It is following a supposed legal duty to conduct a welfare check, and nothing more. The police and paramedics in an ambulance cannot administer any sort of mental health treatment, and in most cases an evaluation at a hospital isn't going to lead to a treatment plan either. Most people are just thrown right back into their problems with no path forward.

I'm sick of seeing this argument being made in multiple threads, as someone who has had the police intervene during an attempt (not because of a helpline, but because of a friend who lied about being pro-choice) they do not offer any sort of resources or help for dealing with suicidality, neither do the paramedics, they don't do any sort of referral or address your issues, they just tell you it sounds rough and to reach out to someone. A old acquaintance of mine went to A&E because their antidepressant prescription was causing acute suicidal episodes and the staff quite literally said, "What do you want us to do about that?" They left feeling worse, because there was absolutely no help being offered. Perhaps it would be a different story if there was any help ever being offered, but in most cases it's just a show of humiliation to fulfil an obligation of duty of care to make sure someone is still alive.

I'm sorry you had this experience OP, helplines based in the USA are pretty trigger happy with this sort of thing. If you want to contact one again in the future, though it's perfectly understandable why you wouldn't given this awful experience, as Dot said the Samaritans is a much better option as it's their ethos to respect a person's choices.

All I'm doing is sharing the protocol, never said the system set up works at all but that's the system. If you call then you know what the outcome will tend to be.
People do all this research on a method but no research on policies and procedures. This is why those who are serious about ctb don't call helplines or talk to anyone. A helpline means you want help and to be saved, no point getting upset when the help comes.

That is exactly what I am saying. Take it easy, take your time to see how the interactions on this site are generally like and learn to be considerate before you go off shaming users for "telling" or wishing suicidals success on their suicide. And no I will not block or ignore, I will say when there is nonsense and arrogance.

Please take your own advice. I don't want to interact with you, so just stop now. We're done.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

All I'm doing is sharing the protocol, never said the system set up works at all but that's the system. If you call then you know what the outcome will tend to be.

What if people don't know? Suicide hotlines don't tend to advertise that aspect. Before they ring in EMS they should warn the caller or texter. Some do, some don't.

The unintended effect is that people become very averse to reaching out for help again and learn that silence is golden even if it costs them their life. What a shit lesson.

no point getting upset when the help comes.

Don't gatekeep people's reactions to their own traumatic or at least unpleasant experiences. Come on.

From the book "Rational Suicide, Irrational Laws" by mental health lawyer Susan Stefan:

"It may very well be true that someone who articulates suicidal thoughts is asking for help; it is probably not so true that he or she is asking for the police to show up, or an ambulance to the noisy and crowded emergency department for a series of formulaic questions ("Do you have a plan?") and involuntary detention for hours, if not days or weeks.

 

[crownofcerberus]

It feels natural at some point to try to reach out, because all this suffering is far too much for someone to bare alone. Unfortunately the way the mental health system works it will never work in your benefit.

 

[just cant]

What if people don't know? Suicide hotlines don't tend to advertise that aspect. Before they ring in EMS they should warn the caller or texter. Some do, some don't.

The unintended effect is that people become very averse to reaching out for help again and learn that silence is golden even if it costs them their life. What a shit lesson.




Don't gatekeep people's reactions to their own traumatic or at least unpleasant experiences. Come on.

From the book "Rational Suicide, Irrational Laws" by mental health lawyer Susan Stefan:

"It may very well be true that someone who articulates suicidal thoughts is asking for help; it is probably not so true that he or she is asking for the police to show up, or an ambulance to the noisy and crowded emergency department for a series of formulaic questions ("Do you have a plan?") and involuntary detention for hours, if not days or weeks.

After the first time they learn very quickly, but why call a helpline if you don't want help?

And if you want to take a snippet of a sentence to try to make something of it "don't get upset when the help comes" well then don't call a HELP LINE for help. If you just want to talk then you get a psychologist and work with one. But telling someone you are suicidal and expecting them to do nothing is actually being cruel to them. If you say you're suicidal and then do it, they will have enormous guilt for their whole life that they didn't try to save you. It's how people are wired.
Do you think that's fair to put on someone else?

 

[Not A Fan]

Edit: How did they know where you live? They must have traced the call while you were talking. Did you use a phone line that is registered on your name and address? Sorry, I'd just be interested in how they found out where you live if you did not tell them the details.

Same question. How would they they be able to know a callers name and address?

I've never called one of these numbers, and don't plan to, so I don't understand how this works.

If people knew "helpline" operators were tracking your location, probably no one would ever call them. So presumably they are not transparent about this ability.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Same question. How would they they be able to know a callers name and address?

If it is possible in your country to suppress phone numbers and appear as "unknown" and if the helplines can track you down they have more possibilities than what they officially acknowlage they have. Police/Legal prosecution can find out about phone numbers in an emergency case but also this depends on local law how much privacy is allowed to be breached when there's no criminal act.

 

[Mebius]

The doctor though looked pretty much like she didn't want to live either.

Burst out laughing at this JFL

 

[Praestat_Mori]

@Not A Fan afaik OP is not located in the US. There must be other mechanisms. Let's wait for OP to reply.

 

[Not A Fan]

@Not A Fan afaik OP is not located in the US. There must be other mechanisms. Let's wait for OP to reply.

yikes sorry, I think what I wrote came off entirely wrong. I meant to be chastising the cops but i think it sounded like something else.. my bad. yeah these legal particularities can vary a lot from place to place.

 

[dinosavr]

After the first time they learn very quickly, but why call a helpline if you don't want help?

And if you want to take a snippet of a sentence to try to make something of it "don't get upset when the help comes" well then don't call a HELP LINE for help. If you just want to talk then you get a psychologist and work with one. But telling someone you are suicidal and expecting them to do nothing is actually being cruel to them. If you say you're suicidal and then do it, they will have enormous guilt for their whole life that they didn't try to save you. It's how people are wired.
Do you think that's fair to put on someone else?

Yeah and I think you're 100% right about it! But you're still missing the main point - I did want help even though I thought I didn't want it. Maybe not in such drastic ways but still. And on top of that I was almost psychotic, for sure at least dissociated. It works just like survival instincts, you don't think straight, you miss some facts and act despite them.

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

So far I've only seen 2 posts where people are complaining about helplines calling emergency services. Just explaining how they operate and all operate very similarly across the world. The volunteers who man the phones don't owe callers anything, they are there to listen and act if THEY deem needed.

Again only sharing information for those who don't seem to realise how these organisation are legally meant to operate and what they say.

How is it you claim to know so much about how helplines operate all over the world? Did you do a poll or a study about it?

 

[dinosavr]

@Not A Fan afaik OP is not located in the US. There must be other mechanisms. Let's wait for OP to reply.

yikes sorry, I think what I wrote came off entirely wrong. I meant to be chastising the cops but i think it sounded like something else.. my bad. yeah these legal particularities can vary a lot from place to place.

Honestly I have no idea how they did it, didn't have any idea it was possible to localize someone so exactly. I live in a block of flats and they knew exactly which apartment was mine. And I just rent it, it's not listed anywhere officially I guess. Also it's not my address of residence but it's an address of where i live. So God knows what kind of systems they have. The helpline guys knew my phone number and my full name, nothing else. And my number is registered on the old address. I don't know, maybe a history of shipping? Or bank transfers? I have no idea.
And no, I don't live in the US. I live in European Union. So they still have very specific systems for localization but didn't know it was that powerful.

If anyone knows more, let us know! I'll try to find out on my own too.

 

[Not A Fan]

Honestly I have no idea how they did it, didn't have any idea it was possible to localize someone so exactly. I live in a block of flats and they knew exactly which apartment was mine. And I just rent it, it's not listed anywhere officially I guess. Also it's not my address of residence but it's an address of where i live. So God knows what kind of systems they have. The helpline guys knew my phone number and my full name, nothing else. And my number is registered on the old address. I don't know, maybe a history of shipping? Or bank transfers? I have no idea.
And no, I don't live in the US. I live in European Union. So they still have very specific systems for localization but didn't know it was that powerful.

If anyone knows more, let us know! I'll try to find out on my own too.

That's quite concerning, then. Phone number must tied to the address in some database, somehow.

Glad you managed to maneuver your way out of it, but what a disruptive experience to have in the privacy of your home. All that just because you wanted to talk to someone.

Seems likes a good a way to get a vulnerable person evicted, if the landlord learns the police have been summoned. No to mention alerting ALL Thy neighbors and housemates about your deepest personal private struggles. Doesn't seem like the most considerate approach.