I'm having a lot of problems at home and school and I feel like I'm slowly giving up. Yesterday I admitted to my sister that I had a suicide attempt in 2019 and instead of saying something to help me or whatever, she just said "You're so stupid that you didn't even did it right" and that made me feel worse. On one of my breakdown moments I marked the day of my suicide, but I think it'll be sooner than I expect… I just don't know what to do man..
i'm sorry things are tough at home. i know the feeling. i'm proud of you for telling someone, even if met with a negative remark, of your suicide attempt. that shit isn't hard to just open up about. she made a very insensitive comment, but i just wanted to ask, has she ever expressed symptoms of mental illness herself? one reason why she may have said what she did could be due to her having attempted before and failing. she may feel that as the older one she's gone through more, therefore you have little to complain about. and that sort of thinking isn't right, however it's an explanation for why she said what she did, and therefore a reasonable ground for you to dismiss her words as just childish anger, and not take it seriously.
i know it's really hard to not know what to do. when you're younger, it's harder to get out. but i made it out, and i was the eldest sibling too. so i have faith in you. little by little, try to save up money, pass your peers in school, and as soon as you're of age, get the hell out of there. the price of freedom is heavy, but the chains of constraint is little to be preferred over.
giving up isn't easy, and trying again is even harder. it's up to you what you do. but you posted on the forum, right? you're asking for help, in a way. and i hope you know you have my best wishes with you. please keep trying. we're here always to see you through the pain.