Help to CTB by overdose on prescription meds

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Hi
When I originally heard of SaSu, the PPH & SN etc, I thought it would help with a foolproof plan.
But I've hit dead end after dead end, mostly through lack of time & IT skills. I thought I'd get everything sorted quickly & to be honest, had hoped to CTB by this week. My decision to CTB is not new.
And I still haven't ordered SN, let alone receive it, or test it, with a test kit that I also haven't ordered. This process has been too hard for me. If that makes me an idiot, fine. I know my weaknesses & this has proven to be one of them, & I can't even begin to quantify how much that hurts. I want to do this, do this soon & be successful.
Desperate people make mistakes.
And I am beginning to get desperate.
Even though I've wanted to do this for 30 years, I didn't think it would be so hard.
And being limited to just an iPhone is not ideal.
I read some of recommended threads like Stan's etc but was hoping for some highly specific advice from someone with the knowledge to figure out what I could possibly fashion together to have success.
On a daily basis, I take thyroid meds for hashimoto's autoimmune disease. The oral contraceptive pill. Lamotrigine mood stabiliser.
Dexamfetamine sulfate, 400mg seroquel / quetiapine & 20mg temazepam. Most days
5mg or less of diazepam.
What I have access to in my medicine cabinet today:
Seroquel 300mg x 22 pills also have repeat prescription for a box of another 60
Seroquel 100 x 52 plus script but not sure when can get that filled
Dexamfetamine sulfate 5mg x about 370 pills
Lamotrigine 25mg x about 50 pills
Lamotrigine 50mg x 56 pills
Temazepam 10mg x 25 pills plus repeat script for another 50
Diazepam 5mg x about 45 pills
Rizatriptan 10mg wafers x about 6
Paracetamol/Codeine combo - 500mg paracetamol/ 30 mg codeine phosphate hemihydrate x about 70 pills
And randomly, but not taken before:
Guanfacine as hydrochloride 1mg x 28 modified release tablets
And past their best before date & probably well past:
Amoxicillin 500mg x 7 pills
Seroquel 25mg x about 60 pills
Ritalin 10mg x about 190 pills
Oxycodone 5mg x 2 (!!)
Prochlorperazine maleate 5mg x 25 - expired & never taken before
I "think" in the household, but not mine, not taken before & unsure of quantity or access:
Spiriva tiotropium
Pantoprazole 40mg
Pregabalin??
Escitalopram
Melatonin
Prednisoline
Not entirely sure on all that, was just a very quick open of a drawer, I hate the idea of snooping or stealing, but am getting desperate.

I had always thought I could just take a bunch of meds, drink a bunch of booze, lay in a bath & wait to die or drown. Easy peasy.
But now I see so, so, so much info about vomiting, seizures, failures, drug interactions where one cancels another out, so many ways to fuck it up.
I only have one chance at this.
I'm going to try to follow up attempting to get SN.
I've thought about trying to get street drugs - I don't have any connections but I'm sure I know people who do - but I know quality can't be trusted plus I've never done anything like that before & it's a bit scary.
Can anyone, please anyone, help me work out if I can make do with what I have if I have to???
I live in Australia.
I'm not sure if there are any other meds I could get prescribed. Or what's available over the counter.
Does it matter that I currently take some of the drugs? Does that mean I'm acclimated in some way??
Are any of the drugs mentioned to be avoided because they'll cause seizures or vomiting or counteract the others in any way?
Is the bath a good idea? Booze?
I really want to succeed at this.
Being in Australia, being tech illiterate, being limited to iPhone, being time poor, being somewhere between naive & stupid, all of it, it's slowing me down & tearing me up inside.
I may have a few months of being able to sort this out if I'm lucky. But if the end of May deadline of homelessness stands, I really need quality advice ASAP.
I'm not capable of hanging, shooting, jumping, slitting wrists etc & don't know what else to do.
As I said, I've read some of the guides but I need highly specific advice about my particular meds & soon.
I never ask for help but I've got to the begging stage now. So any help appreciated.
Thanks so much

 

[innerentropy]

Hi. The only reasonable dead mix is opioids + benzo + alcohol+ antiemetic. Fent would be the best choice. Then pure IV Heroin or Methadone and finally Oxycodone. All other substances aren't deadly.

 

[LunarLight]

Hi. It won't work, unfortunately. The only meds you can overdose on safely are opiates, but 10mg oxycodone is nothing.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

It looks like my SN has finally hit my country. Not my state, not my house, not my hands. But it's a step forward. Fingers crossed.
So I guess what I mostly need to know are the 2 things - 1 how many temazepam or diazepam to take? Is more better? Or more likely to vomit? I'm a 50 - 55 kilo middle aged woman, but I've taken temazepam & diazepam every day - 2 temaze & 1 diaz - does that mean I'm acclimated & need more than other people? How many is too many? Or just take it all??
And 2 - regarding antiemetics - is the prochlorperazine listed above the right stuff? Does the expiry mean it's dead? If not, how many to take?? Plus I saw mention that seroquel / quietapine counts as antiemetic - I have a tonne of it - but I've taken 400 daily for the last 5 years, before that I took as much as 800 for the last 15 years. Does this mean it wil work? Do I take more? Or is that a no-no & I should stop them right before I CTB?????
I'm trying to look into testing kits - a pet store a few blocks away sells API & aqua one & tetra brands. But the only way for me to get the Exit one that starts with a B is online & I'm stlll really struggling to hold onto this address.
So if anyone has answers about the quantity of temazepam & diazepam, the expiry of my antiemetic & what to do about the seroquel & even the 3 brands of tests I can get, that'd be great. I'm still trying to figure out how to convince both my work & my ex husband that I'm away for a few days in a way that's believable to both…. so much work, I hope it works & I succeed. I need this.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Curious, what does the Temazepam do when you take it as indicated? Is it a strong benzo?

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Curious, what does the Temazepam do when you take it as indicated? Is it a strong benzo?

Nope. Not for me. I can take it easily & function. Doesn't hit me the way Valium does. Or proper sleeping pills - I had to come off them because I was one of the people that would get up & go paint a fence in the middle of the night & not remember it (not what I actually did, too specific, but I remember that one being in the news). Also, when I take temazepam I can still drink alcohol. But if I've been taking even the smallest amount of valium 24 hours prior as in the night before drinking, I can be fall down inebriated from a glass of wine & so unbalanced, I need someone to help me walk. I learnt this the hard way. Temazepam takes the edge off, that's about it. Maybe if you haven't taken before, it'd hit differently. It also doesn't affect my mood but Valium makes me melancholy like a drunk that plays sad music. Just my experience. As an almost 50 year old female, weighs 53 kilos, no street drug experience (except prescribed oxy tablets in hospital after surgery - if I could get my hands on that legitimately, that'd be awesome - makes me feel floaty & like nothing can touch me). I don't want to mess with anything illegal or street related though. I have a lot of experience with anxiety & psych meds for anxiety that is goddamn permanent & depression that comes & goes at its leisure - I am legit shocked I found SaSu & am going to CTB in a period of zero depression, but it also reassures me it's the right decision, that I'm in my right mind. I have some very specific symptoms of depression (not as in physical, as in life things I can't achieve, daily stuff, don't want to say anything specific) but they are easily measurable & it's the first thing I tell my psych at every session by my own choice - either I have or have not done those things. I haven't suffered from any of that this whole year. But ffs, clearly not getting better with the ADHD shit…. Sorry, I hope I answered your question or was of some use & didn't get too far off track… Sorry. I don't mean to be like this.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Nope. Not for me. I can take it easily & function. Doesn't hit me the way Valium does. Or proper sleeping pills - I had to come off them because I was one of the people that would get up & go paint a fence in the middle of the night & not remember it (not what I actually did, too specific, but I remember that one being in the news). Also, when I take temazepam I can still drink alcohol. But if I've been taking even the smallest amount of valium 24 hours prior as in the night before drinking, I can be fall down inebriated from a glass of wine & so unbalanced, I need someone to help me walk. I learnt this the hard way. Temazepam takes the edge off, that's about it. Maybe if you haven't taken before, it'd hit differently. It also doesn't affect my mood but Valium makes me melancholy like a drunk that plays sad music. Just my experience. As an almost 50 year old female, weighs 53 kilos, no street drug experience (except prescribed oxy tablets in hospital after surgery - if I could get my hands on that legitimately, that'd be awesome - makes me feel floaty & like nothing can touch me). I don't want to mess with anything illegal or street related though. I have a lot of experience with anxiety & psych meds for anxiety that is goddamn permanent & depression that comes & goes at its leisure - I am legit shocked I found SaSu & am going to CTB in a period of zero depression, but it also reassures me it's the right decision, that I'm in my right mind. I have some very specific symptoms of depression (not as in physical, as in life things I can't achieve, daily stuff, don't want to say anything specific) but they are easily measurable & it's the first thing I tell my psych at every session by my own choice - either I have or have not done those things. I haven't suffered from any of that this whole year. But ffs, clearly not getting better with the ADHD shit…. Sorry, I hope I answered your question or was of some use & didn't get too far off track… Sorry. I don't mean to be like this.

Benzos + another CNS depressant like alcohol or opiates cause a lot of accidental OD's. You don't have enough oxys though. I would be too scared to try all the other weird drugs. Sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Benzos + another CNS depressant like alcohol or opiates cause a lot of accidental OD's. You don't have enough oxys though. I would be too scared to try all the other weird drugs. Sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long.

I really thought when I joined here - temazepam & diazepam & quetiapine & booze & bath = CTB. All the accidentals make it look so so easy.
I was just here to find out quantities.
I "might" have reached out to people I know who have leftover oxy from legit surgeries & just begged each for a few - I have a recurring injury - it wouldn't have raised too much suspicion if I went to multiple people who don't know each other. Plus, I work with someone who is clean but their friend has street access - my problem with all of that is it implicates innocent people who will all find out if I CTB & realise they played a part & I'm not that person. I'm trying to die with integrity because it's how I live - there has been a few unavoidable fibs which have been challenging, even when it's just to my abusive ex. I don't like it.
This is so fucking hard. Especially my circumstances with the lack of physical & digital privacy.
But my plan has always been try once & succeed as the primary goal.
The date was second to that.
I'm devastated that it's been pushed so far forward, it's not what I want. Life is awful & it's not gonna get better.
But one shot & success is the dream so
I hope you're getting whatever you need out of this platform but I'm sorry you're here too.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Ah yeah I get it. You don't want them to feel like you manipulated them into participating in your end and them feel angry or guilty. Sounds like you are a thoughtful friend.