jussrav

jussrav

Experienced
Sep 9, 2023
237
So basically want to ctb as my life is pure torture. Before covid everything was normal. Then I caught covid which turned to long covid that went on for 2 years. I lost my hair, nosebleeds, severe pain, seizures and about 100 symptoms. I lost my job as a prison officer as they said that if I had a seizure in the prison it could be risky as prisoners could take keys. After 2 years I got better but then a crisis health worker came to my flat knew she was ill and gave me covid again. I got long covid again and am still suffering a year on. Everything has gone wrong for me . Every decision I've made since such as jobs I've been humiliated at. Also my mum says horrible things and dad ignores me. Doctor's have stopped treating me and say they will give me no anti depressants or nothing. I can't sleep for past month. I wake up every hour and its driving me crazy. I try to talk to guys but they humiliate me. I have been sectioned twice and they were going to section me again but I refused. When I say I am living in hell I amiterally suffering every second. I dont know what being normal is or what happiness is anymore. I have no peace I cant sit and watch a movie. My siblings dont talk to me. Basically I'd rather be dead. I M trying to get sn in the UK but can't find it. I usually wake up in the morning feeling sick, scared to face the day and I hate myself and can't look in the mirror. I have lost everything. Please if anyone can help me to end my misery. Maybe where to get sn. Thankyou.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
That sounds so horrible what you have to endure, I hope you eventually find freedom from your suffering, I wish there's a straightforward way to just permanently leave in peace.
 
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jussrav

jussrav

Experienced
Sep 9, 2023
237
That sounds so horrible what you have to endure, I hope you eventually find freedom from your suffering, I wish there's a straightforward way to just permanently leave in peace.
I am trying to find anyway. I took 50 paracetamols and nearly died. I've tried going on a train track they stopped the trains. I also have a brain tumour I was hoping that would kill me but no. I always think wouldn't it be great like if a murderer killed me but even that I've given up hope for
 
R

rainseahorse

Member
Sep 9, 2023
59
what are the doctors saying about your symptoms? i'm sorry that there's no easy way out, but if you've lost everything then there's a couple other options than SN
 
jussrav

jussrav

Experienced
Sep 9, 2023
237
That sounds so horrible what you have to endure, I hope you eventually find freedom from your suffering, I wish there's a straightforward way to just permanently leave in

what are the doctors saying about your symptoms? i'm sorry that there's no easy way out, but if you've lost everything then there's a couple other options than SN
Doctors saying nothing they wont treat me with pills etc
 
MyChoiceAlone

MyChoiceAlone

sleep deprived and/or drunk
Jul 23, 2023
1,212
everyone just abandoned you? wow. i hope you can find something in the link. uk seems especially tough on this issue. it's probably worse here but i don't have long term covid.

 
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