Discussion help needed: hiding sh from partner

[waistcoat]

guh,.
i relapsed.
i've just taken the bandages off since doing it and fuck i did it a lot
my arms are a fucking checkerboard
i cut up and down and left and right and fuck
i am supposed to be seeing my partner in less than 2 days
there's no fucking chance these will heal in that time
its on both arms

what the fuck do i do
genuinely what the fuck do i do

there's obvs going to be a point where we're having sex and she's going to fucking see
i'm such a fucking idiot why did i do this
i fucking hate myself

 

[eggsalad6167]

Perhaps hiding them isn't the best option. I don't know your partner of course, but I can't really imagine a situation where I don't prefer honesty.

We relapse sometimes, I'd never hide my wounds from my partner and she wouldn't either.

I'm only speaking from personal experience of course, but at least consider it.

 

[waistcoat]

Perhaps hiding them isn't the best option. I don't know your partner of course, but I can't really imagine a situation where I don't prefer honesty.

We relapse sometimes, I'd never hide my wounds from my partner and she wouldn't either.

I'm only speaking from personal experience of course, but at least consider it.

she'll be worried about me and i i'll feel awful for it :<

 

[eggsalad6167]

she'll be worried about me and i i'll feel awful for it :<

She will see them regardless!! she's your partner, if they're going to leave scars it's unavoidable...

 

[waistcoat]

She will see them regardless!! she's your partner, if they're going to leave scars it's unavoidable...

fuck.
you're right.
FUCK

 

[westerly_merlin]

she'll be worried about me and i i'll feel awful for it :<

I hear you friend!

I always feel awful and ashamed afterwards. Even at my age, I still try and hide new scars from my wife, sometimes by wearing long sleeves and sometimes by pruning spiky plants in the garden to give excuses for them. i always end up telling her and see her disappointment I have done it again.

I tell myself "never again" but then circumstances get too overwhelming and the only relief leaves more scars.

Sorry I don't have an answer but I do understand.

WM

 

[bravelytothewinter]

The best advice I can give you is that you need to be honest with her. You should able to trust her and tell her honestly, or at least I hope you'd be able to.

best of luck whatever you decide!

 

[waistcoat]

seeing her tomorrow, i'm thinking i'll just wrap my arms in bandages and let her figure out what happened without having to see directly.
i just counted and there are 137 new cuts across both arms, she doesn't need to know how bad it is.

 

[tend a dead garden]

seeing her tomorrow, i'm thinking i'll just wrap my arms in bandages and let her figure out what happened without having to see directly.
i just counted and there are 137 new cuts across both arms, she doesn't need to know how bad it is.

the bandages are a good idea in that it will give her an indication that you've relapsed and SH again, then you can hopefully discuss the issue once she has accepted it.
With 137 cuts her seeing them will probably be quite alot to take in.
Hopefully she will understand

 

[waistcoat]

update: i've managed to hide everything including bandages so far

i've been wearing a long sleeved cardigan (incl to bed and during fun times). i'm pretty sure she knows why, but it hasn't been brought up directly

she asked if i wanted to take my cardigan off and i just shook my head with a gentle "no" and i think she got it as she hasn't asked again and gave me a hug

she really is awesome i love her a lot

 

[U. A.]

hoping this doesn't come off as insensitive but does she not know about you being approved for MAID and all? i figure that kind of knowledge would eclipse what sh scars might make someone think or feel. like, obviously you're in agony

 

[waistcoat]

hoping this doesn't come off as insensitive but does she not know about you being approved for MAID and all? i figure that kind of knowledge would eclipse what sh scars might make someone think or feel. like, obviously you're in agony

she knows, she was one of the first people i spoke to about it

its just, there's a difference in supporting your partner through the process of approval for MAiD, and then seeing barely healed sh

i heal extremely slowly due to one of my health issues, so even tho its been a few days & there has been proper treatment to them, the cuts still look very new and not pleasant