Help ! I failed my full suspension yesterday, I want to succeed tonight. Please give me your best advices about a successfull complete suspension.

[babouflo201223]

I failed my full suspension yesterday. But I want to succeed tonight. Please give me your best advices about successful complete suspension. I read some things and the opposite too, then I wonder if I did something bad yesterday. My rope is 12mm polypropylene, anchor point is strong and don't slide (yesterday there was no problem with my weight).

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why did it fail?

 

[babouflo201223]

À cause d'un fort réflexe de vomissement qui me rendait fou et je bougeais beaucoup, c'était terrible, et je ne sais pas comment j'ai fait ça mais j'ai réussi à atteindre le coin d'un meuble avec mes pieds and to climb and next to untighten the slipknot and deliver my head. It was crazy, all happened so fast. I didn't imagine so many crazy movments were possible to escape.

 

[lacustra]

À cause d'un fort réflexe de vomissement qui me rendait fou et je bougeais beaucoup, c'était terrible, et je ne sais pas comment j'ai fait ça mais j'ai réussi à atteindre le coin d'un meuble avec mes pieds and to climb and next to untighten the slipknot and deliver my head. It was crazy, all happened so fast. I didn't imagine so many crazy movments were possible to escape.

Wow.

 

[cait_sith]

À cause d'un fort réflexe de vomissement qui me rendait fou et je bougeais beaucoup, c'était terrible, et je ne sais pas comment j'ai fait ça mais j'ai réussi à atteindre le coin d'un meuble avec mes pieds and to climb and next to untighten the slipknot and deliver my head. It was crazy, all happened so fast. I didn't imagine so many crazy movments were possible to escape.

That's why I will make sure to not have any furniture to save myself with. Was it very painful?

 

[babouflo201223]

C'est pourquoi je veillerai à ne pas avoir de meubles pour me sauver. Est-ce que c'était très douloureux ?

Unfortunately, I can't move this furniture, too big and heavy, and it was far away from me, I can't understand how I managed to reach it, but of course, it means it was not far away enough. But I can't change my anchor point, it's the only one strong enough. Anyways, I failed again yesterday and again this afternoon, the 2 times because I didn't manage to fall from the chair (the first time I managed that). Now, I think it's quite impossible for me to defeat SI, even benzos are useless. Despair.

C'est pourquoi je veillerai à ne pas avoir de meubles pour me sauver. Est-ce que c'était très douloureux ?

And yes, it was very painful on the neck and back of the head but everyting went so fast that I can say the worst was vomiting reflex, so strong that it made me become crazy and move in all directions with movments I still don't understand how I was able to do that. In a few seconds I succeeded to reach a small corner of the furniture with my feet and to climb.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

In suicide videos the people hang motionless for the first seconds and wait patiently for unconsciousness. In your case something deep inside of you don´t wants to die, perhaps you should accept this for now.

 

[babouflo201223]

Dans les vidéos de suicide, les gens restent immobiles pendant les premières secondes et attendent patiemment de perdre connaissance. Dans ton cas, quelque chose au fond de toi ne veut pas mourir, peut-être devrais-tu l'accepter pour le moment.

You're maybe right. But I feel I WANT. I wonder how they can stay without moving when they feel pain, but ok.