Help help and story thread

[SuperioS]

so this thread is kinda a help and a story thread
So i tried ctb like 11 times now and i could not do it like it did not work because i did something wrong.
so my method is partial hanging because i dont have a high enough place to step on a chair and kick it away.
also it looks kinda brutal to me and if i do it wrong i have to wait 3 minutes in total suffering so i'll use partial suspension.
i did this method like 11 times now and i could not kill myself with it. i couldn't pass out ,
my problem with it is that i can't get myself to pass out like i Lean forwards and wait but my head is feeling like it could explode any second.
i saw it in a youtube video where someone demonstrated some kind of challange or something and it did work( yt video: )
3 out of 11 trys i almost did it but it wasnt working for some reason because i woke up and my vision was very blury and i only remember to remove the rope as quickly as possible
and this was it. am i too stupid to do it or? like i really need help i've been suicidal for like 5 years now and i cant even do it. if i could i would just grap a shotgun or something and send myself underground but it's really difficult to get a weapon here so i can't do that. like my only option is hanging and i neep help.

 

[moron]

Idk man, from the sound of it that method may just not be the one for you. If you have made eleven sincere attempts and been unable, perhaps it might bring you peace of mind to just eliminate it from the realm of possibility and work to find a method you can succeed at. I wish I had some practical advice that could help you make it work. Good luck to you

 

[rozeske]

I agree with the above comment. If you have a muscular thick neck it could take a lot more pressure to compress your arteries.