struggles_inc
life is a highway and i wanna wreck my car
- Jun 24, 2023
- 358
Hi. Thank you very much for letting me on this forum. Sorry if my English ends up being bad, it`s not my native language. Hopefully, I will be able to share my story here. I decided to finally join you yesterday, because I`ve been once again considering ctb, as you call it here.
I`m a small business owner and half of my stress and anxiety comes from the pressure I face every day. I have a team of ~80 people and sometimes it feels like a whole kindergarten. I sometimes get pushed around by bigger businesses, because (I guess) the owners don`t really like me. Even though I try my best to be on good terms, some of them just outright despise me. I have no idea why. I could convince myself that they fear me, but eh… it hurts anyway.
I don't have close relationships. Even though I try to form ones, it`s just not working out. Don`t get me wrong here, I have a partner, but mentally we are miles away from each other. Therefore, another half of my stress comes from being alone. Some of my friends and family members passed away, leaving me heartbroken with no way to properly heal.
Every time I try to address this anywhere with anyone, I get the standard «go-to-therapy» response. The concept of paying somebody to just listen to you is absolutely astonishing to me. I know exactly what I feel and I understand my own condition, I just need to vent, but nonetheless no alive human being in vague proximity wants to empathize with me. It`s like I have nobody.
I don`t have a problem with paying. However, I really have no desire to share personal stuff with someone who I pay to just listen and nod. Growing up with a strong concept of friendship, I had aspirations to build close supportive bonds. Helping out other people is normal for me. But it seems like it`s… well, not mutual.
I have been bottling up for about 9 years now. I sometimes spill, but no one seems to care anyway. So, here I am. Can anyone relate to that? Maybe share similar stories?
Thank you once again for accepting me.
I`m a small business owner and half of my stress and anxiety comes from the pressure I face every day. I have a team of ~80 people and sometimes it feels like a whole kindergarten. I sometimes get pushed around by bigger businesses, because (I guess) the owners don`t really like me. Even though I try my best to be on good terms, some of them just outright despise me. I have no idea why. I could convince myself that they fear me, but eh… it hurts anyway.
I don't have close relationships. Even though I try to form ones, it`s just not working out. Don`t get me wrong here, I have a partner, but mentally we are miles away from each other. Therefore, another half of my stress comes from being alone. Some of my friends and family members passed away, leaving me heartbroken with no way to properly heal.
Every time I try to address this anywhere with anyone, I get the standard «go-to-therapy» response. The concept of paying somebody to just listen to you is absolutely astonishing to me. I know exactly what I feel and I understand my own condition, I just need to vent, but nonetheless no alive human being in vague proximity wants to empathize with me. It`s like I have nobody.
I don`t have a problem with paying. However, I really have no desire to share personal stuff with someone who I pay to just listen and nod. Growing up with a strong concept of friendship, I had aspirations to build close supportive bonds. Helping out other people is normal for me. But it seems like it`s… well, not mutual.
I have been bottling up for about 9 years now. I sometimes spill, but no one seems to care anyway. So, here I am. Can anyone relate to that? Maybe share similar stories?
Thank you once again for accepting me.
