Heartfelt conversation with hubby

[Life_and_Death]

I want to sit down with my husband and just spill everything. I want to tell him that I just can't anymore and why. I want to tell him everything going on in my head. But I don't even know where to start or how.

 

[Nymph]

You could start slowly so they don’t get overwhelmed. Maybe start from where it all went downhill or talk about the present and your feelings. If you think they will understand you then I think it’s a good idea to tell them.

 

[Life_and_Death]

You could start slowly so they don’t get overwhelmed. Maybe start from where it all went downhill or talk about the present and your feelings. If you think they will understand you then I think it’s a good idea to tell them.

He already knows everything. Past, mental disorders. I just.... Idk basically want to tell him I've reached my limit I guess.... I really don't want to do this anymore.

 

[Nymph]

He already knows everything. Past, mental disorders. I just.... Idk basically want to tell him I've reached my limit I guess.... I really don't want to do this anymore.

I see, that’s hard then:( idk how to help, I don’t think he will just accept it and be okay with it which is understandable. It’s too hard for ppl to understand.

 

[Life_and_Death]

It's not that he won't understand. He will.

 

[RepressedMind]

Take your time with it and slowly bring him into it. If he ends up not understanding, or not being supportive, then you can know that at least you've tried.

 

[Jean Améry]

If he already knows much and he's supportive why not just broach the subject at the earliest opportunity? It's natural to fret about things that are difficult but I don't think it'll become easier the longer you wait.

You should realize that if you have a plan telling him (especially if it's in detail) might result in hospitalization and/or removal of the means/limiting access to them. I'm not trying to steer you either way but know that this is the primary risk of sharing suicidal thoughts/feelings and certainly plans with people. Our whole culture and society is geared towards villifying suicide and keeping as many people from doing it as possible (which is why they call it a 'public health hazard').

Plus he might feel obligated to keep you 'safe': out of selfishness or fear of guilt if you do decide to CTB at some point. Or simply out of love.

The best of luck to you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

You should realize that if you have a plan telling him (especially if it's in detail) might result in hospitalization and/or removal of the means/limiting access to them. I'm not trying to steer you either way but know that this is the primary risk of sharing suicidal thoughts/feelings and certainly plans with people. Our whole culture and society is geared towards villifying suicide and keeping as many people from doing it as possible (which is why they call it a 'public health hazard').

Plus he might feel obligated to keep you 'safe': out of selfishness or fear of guilt if you do decide to CTB at some point. Or simply out of love.

none of this is the case. he understand that hospitalization is the worse possible thing for me and has already told me that althought he wouldnt help me (which i didnt ask nor do i blame him for) that he would understand my decision. however the major problem im having is with myself. i cant even keep my thoughts straight for me let alone long enough to voice them. if you watch my threads you would see that. (not saying anything negative just that its visible in general) i even got into an argument with someone over it because i was making posts that to them "wasnt suicide related" (sorry but small rant) just because "you" dont understand the context doesnt make it any less suicide related, the topic i was writing about made me want to kill myself, just because "you" dont understand it doesnt mean "you" can push my emotions aside like that, and even so i dont need to spill my entire life on the internet just to please "you"

point is....i cant turn my thoughts into words very good, and just thinking about doing the whole thing where you spill everything without thinking about it makes me want to cry and i certainly cant say anything while crying thats difficult under normal circumstances, forget "you have to bury me now because im done with life"

 

[yetme]

I want to sit down with my husband and just spill everything. I want to tell him that I just can't anymore and why. I want to tell him everything going on in my head. But I don't even know where to start or how.

if he loves you, he'll understand, if he doesn't understand, then... well you know the deal

 

[Ghost2211]

What if you write it down for him so it’s easier to organize your thoughts and express yourself?

 

[Life_and_Death]

What if you write it down for him so it’s easier to organize your thoughts and express yourself?

i have the same problem when i write it down......id it can go on and on in my head nonstop but the second i try to open up they go quiet and i have nothing to say.

how do you feel
suicidal
why
idk its just too much

well that was a helpful conversation lol

idk, just the anxiety, and the thoughts, and i cant do anything to help. i tried doing the therapy stuff at home that they would have gotten me to do anyway and that just made my anxiety worse, and today it got to the point where i actually wanted to throw up just thinking about walking 20ft down the side walk something ive done JUST LAST WEEK. i cant take take any medication to help anything because im too sensitive too it. i just feel so hopeless and lost. i cant help but hate every little thing about me no matter what anyone says. (copy paste show him lol)

it just feel like theres so much more to it thought that im missing but i just cant place it to say it