Health issues causing depression

[StarsAbove]

Not sure where to put this post exactly. Are your health issues causing depression or the source of your SI? I believe I have hEDS which causes all sorts of issues. One of the most frustrating ones is MCAS where I have to constantly scrutinize everything I eat to keep my mast cell levels in check otherwise I get a lot of horrible symptoms including bad depression and anxiety.

I just found out that no anti depressants meds will help because the depression is caused by neuroinflammation. The only thing that will help is getting on mast cell stabilizers. Im going to try but with the last insurance I had, the meds were insanely expensive, like $300+ a month. If I cannot get the right treatment, it will be all the more fuel for me to want to CTB

 

[unluckysadness]

Yes my health issues are causing me severe depression. We're a lot here experiencing this.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Yeah, the health issues I have definitely contribute to my depression. Antidepressants don't work for me, either.

 

[whaleandwasp]

Absolutely. I had bouts of depression earlier in life, and I was a hypochondriac until I finally suffered a real, catastrophic, life-changing injury that is robbing me of my ability to eat, drink, or speak. It is the source of around-the-clock anxiety and panic attacks, and I live in constant pain. The surgeries I need to salvage what function I have left are risky and can make me worse off. They can't even be performed for a lengthy period of time, and only a few surgeons in the country are known to do these surgeries. I'm on the verge of losing my home and the benefits I need for my specialized care, and no one gives a shit. I have looked into some expensive treatments that could help buy me some time and retain some function while waiting for restorative surgery, but I'm barely making it on my short-term disability pay as it is. So I'm just waiting for a miracle and comparing fares for one-way bus tickets to nowhere.

 

[StarryEyed]

@StarsAbove, I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. Definitely my physical illnesses are one of the main reasons I'm depressed. As well, some of my mental illnesses are linked to depression. So antidepressants give me a boost for a few months, then they stop working. So I have learned to only use them in emergency as a rescue drug for a few months to pull me out of a total face-plant. Is it possible that might work? Also, I've done a lot of different therapies to manage my thoughts and feelings. Therapies aren't always just about curing an illness, but can also be used in managing an illness - as you probably know.

On most days, I've come to accept that I will likely chronically mostly have a depressed perception and experience of the world. Sometimes I want to give up still (as you know), but it's also possible to adapt and survive like this. Like someone said here, a lot of people on this forum live with illness and depression while not wanting to be alive. It takes a special kind of moxy.

 

[StarsAbove]

Yeah, the health issues I have definitely contribute to my depression. Antidepressants don't work for me, either.

Do you think the health related depression is situational or neurochemical? Is depression common with your condition?

Absolutely. I had bouts of depression earlier in life, and I was a hypochondriac until I finally suffered a real, catastrophic, life-changing injury that is robbing me of my ability to eat, drink, or speak. It is the source of around-the-clock anxiety and panic attacks, and I live in constant pain. The surgeries I need to salvage what function I have left are risky and can make me worse off. They can't even be performed for a lengthy period of time, and only a few surgeons in the country are known to do these surgeries. I'm on the verge of losing my home and the benefits I need for my specialized care, and no one gives a shit. I have looked into some expensive treatments that could help buy me some time and retain some function while waiting for restorative surgery, but I'm barely making it on my short-term disability pay as it is. So I'm just waiting for a miracle and comparing fares for one-way bus tickets to nowhere.

That is heartbreaking. I really wish the health and social service system wasn't failing you. If you had a GoFundMe I would totally donate.

 

[Musiclover338]

I got a failed attempt on benzos & alcohol that messed me up pretty bad.... ears constantly ringing and popping, head hurts in one spot. almost daily. Have spent alot of Mris and CT scans but doctors cant find anything wrong.

basically i was fine and healthy before i tried to overdose ! dont try to overdose guys its not worth it

 

[StarsAbove]

@StarsAbove, I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. Definitely my physical illnesses are one of the main reasons I'm depressed. As well, some of my mental illnesses are linked to depression. So antidepressants give me a boost for a few months, then they stop working. So I have learned to only use them in emergency as a rescue drug for a few months to pull me out of a total face-plant. Is it possible that might work? Also, I've done a lot of different therapies to manage my thoughts and feelings. Therapies aren't always just about curing an illness, but can also be used in managing an illness - as you probably know.

On most days, I've come to accept that I will likely chronically mostly have a depressed perception and experience of the world. Sometimes I want to give up still (as you know), but it's also possible to adapt and survive like this. Like someone said here, a lot of people on this forum live with illness and depression while not wanting to be alive. It takes a special kind of moxy.

Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I have better perspective and can say that it is not so bad, and other days I spiral. Its maybe not my health that is so awful but my overreaction to my health. I am not sure if I actually should be alarmed or if I am gaslighting myself into thinking im overreacting when im not. have seen people with really significant health issues that seem happy anyway and I wish I could be like that. Like you said, it is about being able to learn to live with it. I am glad that you have been able to manage your own feelings about your health, that is not easy!

I got a failed attempt on benzos & alcohol that messed me up pretty bad.... ears constantly ringing and popping, head hurts in one spot. almost daily. Have spent alot of Mris and CT scans but doctors cant find anything wrong.

basically i was fine and healthy before i tried to overdose ! dont try to overdose guys its not worth it

I am so sorry
You were obviously trying to escape something heavy and that feels cruel that you are now also dealing with this. By any chance do you have the ability to see an alternative Dr.?

 

[StarryEyed]

Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I have better perspective and can say that it is not so bad, and other days I spiral. Its maybe not my health that is so awful but my overreaction to my health. I am not sure if I actually should be alarmed or if I am gaslighting myself into thinking im overreacting when im not. have seen people with really significant health issues that seem happy anyway and I wish I could be like that. Like you said, it is about being able to learn to live with it. I am glad that you have been able to manage your own feelings about your health, that is not easy!

Good morning, @StarsAbove

Oh, I can't manage all my feelings around mental health and physical health problems, but just the feelings stemming from depression are more manageable. Although suicidal thoughts can be triggered by depression, I get them without depression too. So now I consider suicidal thoughts as an illness in and of itself, although I know it's not considered an actual diagnosis. And those suicidal thoughts are still far from manageable.

Re others handling worse illness better and being happy, I find it impossible to compare this because we're all so much more than our illness, so to tweeze out and isolate an illness and level of joy and to then compare that between people doesn't work. I mean so much of how we experience illness depends on the rest of who we are, right? In my experience anyway. Of course I'm no authority on this.

You know, when people say to me (or when I say to myself) that I shouldn't feel sad because some people have it worse than me, well, I say that by that same logic I should never be happy because some people have it better than me.

BTW, I've only recently considered the idea of self-gaslighting, and you are the first person I've heard make reference to it. It's a game changer in my life.

Take care. Bye for now.

 

[StarsAbove]

Good morning, @StarsAbove

Oh, I can't manage all my feelings around mental health and physical health problems, but just the feelings stemming from depression are more manageable. Although suicidal thoughts can be triggered by depression, I get them without depression too. So now I consider suicidal thoughts as an illness in and of itself, although I know it's not considered an actual diagnosis. And those suicidal thoughts are still far from manageable.

Re others handling worse illness better and being happy, I find it impossible to compare this because we're all so much more than our illness, so to tweeze out and isolate an illness and level of joy and to then compare that between people doesn't work. I mean so much of how we experience illness depends on the rest of who we are, right? In my experience anyway. Of course I'm no authority on this.

You know, when people say to me (or when I say to myself) that I shouldn't feel sad because some people have it worse than me, well, I say that by that same logic I should never be happy because some people have it better than me.

BTW, I've only recently considered the idea of self-gaslighting, and you are the first person I've heard make reference to it. It's a game changer in my life.

Take care. Bye for now.

Hellos!

That is an interesting take, treating SI the same as a physical ailment. I am sorry to hear the SI thpughts can be really loud and feel uncontrollable. I wish they would at least use their indoor voice instead. My brain did a little flip whrn you said 'if I shouldn't feel sad because others have it worse, I also shouldn't feel happy because others have it better'. Never thought of it that way before! Haha, let's hope youre not gaslighting yourself!

 

[StarryEyed]

Hellos!

That is an interesting take, treating SI the same as a physical ailment. I am sorry to hear the SI thpughts can be really loud and feel uncontrollable. I wish they would at least use their indoor voice instead. My brain did a little flip whrn you said 'if I shouldn't feel sad because others have it worse, I also shouldn't feel happy because others have it better'. Never thought of it that way before! Haha, let's hope youre not gaslighting yourself!

Hey! No, I mean treating suicidal thinking as a separate *mental* illness from depression, rather than a part of the mental illness depression. I know suicidal thinking is not considered a diagnosis in and of itself, but I'm treating it more and more like that. Maybe isolating it just makes it more manageable for me.

Lol! Yeah, to the extreme it may indeed be gaslighting myself. Another way of putting it is you don't need to compare yourself to others to give yourself permission for your thoughts or feelings. And you don't need other people's permission to have thoughts or feelings.

Due to a lifelong history of people gaslighting me, I need these concrete reminders to stay anchored in reality. Maybe they don't apply to you, but I thought just in case they do, I'd share them.

 

[girl_with_a_plan]

Yes, and also just dealing with the healthcare system.

I've been waiting to get a test done, but waiting on some paperwork for a referral. Fine, I'll wait - it's taken a few months. I went and cancelled my appointment with the doctor because the tests haven't happened. She said to me she'll put in the paperwork to get authorized (?). Then I get a message saying they can't get the authorization until I schedule the test - which nobody told me about. So I've been waiting for an apple to get into the farm, and got told, no, you need a couch, and then you can get a car and some day a rubic's cube. I'll go ahead and schedule it - only to be told by insurance I can't have the test, which is what they've told me already once.

It's not a system, it's a maze and it's all so broken. I'm also trying to find medication for ADHD. Also trying to deal with connective tissue issues.

That's on top of unemployment, relocating for work, so many other things I can't get to.

I feel like a ghost who's continually shot over and over again and astounded I have any flesh left.

Thankful at least for this community <3

 

[StarsAbove]

Hey! No, I mean treating suicidal thinking as a separate *mental* illness from depression, rather than a part of the mental illness depression. I know suicidal thinking is not considered a diagnosis in and of itself, but I'm treating it more and more like that. Maybe isolating it just makes it more manageable for me.

Oh my bad! I stand by my previous statement though, that is an interesting take since most people just lump them together. You might be onto something. I am glad the IFS is working for you!

 

[StarsAbove]

Yes, and also just dealing with the healthcare system.

I've been waiting to get a test done, but waiting on some paperwork for a referral. Fine, I'll wait - it's taken a few months. I went and cancelled my appointment with the doctor because the tests haven't happened. She said to me she'll put in the paperwork to get authorized (?). Then I get a message saying they can't get the authorization until I schedule the test - which nobody told me about. So I've been waiting for an apple to get into the farm, and got told, no, you need a couch, and then you can get a car and some day a rubic's cube. I'll go ahead and schedule it - only to be told by insurance I can't have the test, which is what they've told me already once.

It's not a system, it's a maze and it's all so broken. I'm also trying to find medication for ADHD. Also trying to deal with connective tissue issues.

That's on top of unemployment, relocating for work, so many other things I can't get to.

I feel like a ghost who's continually shot over and over again and astounded I have any flesh left.

Thankful at least for this community <3

Thats a lot to be dealing with! The medical system or lack thereof is very frustrating to navigate. I really hope you get the care you need