Discussion having children is like using drugs

[motel rooms]

you're toxic

Well, you're toxically optimistic if you think that trauma isn't passed down from parent to child...

 

[overcomingfear]

Well, you're toxically optimistic if you think that trauma isn't passed down from parent to child...

thats not what i meant. being passive agressive and laughing at people's different opinions ain't nice. i don't understand how you don't respect people in the same boat

 

[motel rooms]

But this 'suffering' also gives us drive and purpose, which provide our lives with meaning and fulfillment.

The suffering in my life ( my primary diagnosis is cPTSD from childhood sexual abuse ) certainly hasn't provided my life with meaning & fulfillment

 

[Ch92921]

thats not what i meant. being passive agressive and laughing at people's different opinions ain't nice. i don't understand how you don't respect people in the same boat

Gay brains anyway dont function correctly. I know it very well because of myself. So have mercy with hotelbebeathground.

 

[overcomingfear]

Gay brains anyway dont function correctly. I know it very well because of myself. So have mercy with hotelbebeathground.

Oh ok i can understand. don't think of yourself as incorrect tho. saw your thread the other day and i think you make up more issues than you really have. you look like a normal average guy and shouldn't stress about it

 

[motel rooms]

thats not what i meant. being passive agressive and laughing at people's different opinions ain't nice. i don't understand how you don't respect people in the same boat

When I read something I think is laughable, I laugh. If you think my opinions are ridiculous, openly laugh at them, I won't be offended. I'm sorry if you find my comments objectionable. Feel free to report them. You can also put me on Ignore & you will suffer no more.

saw your thread the other day and i think you make up more issues than you really have.

That's a really compassionate & insightful thing to say to someone who suffers from severe OCD, btw

 

[Ch92921]

When I read something I think is laughable, I laugh. If you think my opinions are ridiculous, openly laugh at them, I won't be offended. I'm sorry if you find my comments objectionable. Feel free to report them. You can also put me on Ignore & you will suffer no more.


That's a really compassionate & insightful thing to say to someone who suffers from severe OCD, btw

My rational brain never wanted to be gay. It annoys me.

 

[motel rooms]

My rational brain never wanted to be gay. It annoys me.

I know that telling you your face doesn't look "stereotypically gay"/"effeminate" at all is useless, but I happen to know that there are guys who suffer from OCD & are convinced that they're "horrible, defective homosexuals" when they're actually not attracted to other men at all. Do you really want to have sex with men? Do you even masturbate to gay porn?

 

[Ch92921]

I know that telling you your face doesn't look "stereotypically gay"/"effeminate" at all is useless, but I happen to know that there are guys who suffer from OCD & are convinced that they're "horrible, defective homosexuals" when they're actually not attracted to other men at all. Do you really want to have sex with men? Do you even masturbate to gay porn?

Had but I had to pay.

But please believe that in case biological I am flawed. My homosexuality is caused by an inborn error. Its weird there are different subtypes of gay men( different biological reasons). My homosexuality is pathological in nature. Could be that I have a genetic issue. And thats the problem my friend.I look so awful BECAUSE biological something is not right. Can you tell me how I get partner with this shitty face? I have zero chance.

On Grindr I get 10/10 times ignored! Thats the reality. Thats because people look very much how how someones faces looks. You could millionare, you could be power of a company, you could be interesting, entertainment, funny etc. It does not matter for the people. Its the face. Is it attractive, you win, is it ugly you lose.

I have to admit I do look very strongly how some looks. I couldnt get happy if the partner was ugly.


I have OCD because: My sexuality I cant accept because
in my case its biological pathological. Thats why my face looks so awful. But in the same time I dream of a relationship.

I want to suicide because biologically so flawed that I believe I am better off dead.

 

[Ballehert]

I read 1984 a few months ago, really it is a horrible vision of the future. Thank god it is only fiction.

Only fiction?



George Orwell was a member of Fabian Society, that's why he was able to write the novel and predict the future with so much precision.








All the technological advancements that we have nowadays are conceived only to enslave the people, not to turn our life better. It's all part of the Military Industrial Complex since the end of WWII. Your smartphone, your PC, your TV, the internet, Netflix, Hollywood, games, music Industry, everything.

Our life is a bunch of lies and deception. That's nightmare and most people unfortunately don't realize that or they prefer to be enslaved like Cypher from Matrix.

Call me tin foil hat conspiracist if you want, but at least i'm not stupid. We're just a bunch of lab rats for "them". Being antinatalist makes totally sense for people who are awaken from this cruel reality that we live.

 

[motel rooms]

I have OCD because: My sexuality I cant accept because
in my case its biological pathological. Thats why my face looks so awful. But in the same time I dream of a relationship.

I want to suicide because biologically so flawed that I believe I am better off dead.

I really wish I could make you understand that it's not your fault you are the way you are...

 

[lotus11]

I wholeheartedly agree that having children is selfish. However, saying that, if I do not die by suicide I wish to have a family. All of the rest of my friends already have partners and children and I am the only one who doesn't. I feel totally alone and I have never got on with my old family. Without a new one the loneliness and pointlessness of another 60/70 years of life would be unbearable. Tbh that's probably why most people have kids. I am just honest about it

 

[progeria]

I wholeheartedly agree that having children is selfish. However, saying that, if I do not die by suicide I wish to have a family. All of the rest of my friends already have partners and children and I am the only one who doesn't. I feel totally alone and I have never got on with my old family. Without a new one the loneliness and pointlessness of another 60/70 years of life would be unbearable. Tbh that's probably why most people have kids. I am just honest about it

how do you feel about adoption?

 

[t0rnbetween]

Why do people have children? At the birth of a child, a person feels a surge of pleasant hormones. A person feels the fulfillment of a life goal, but this is all so realistic. It's good if this continues until the child comes of age, but often parents give birth to children just like that, without any purpose, because their hormones tell them to do it.I think that this is very selfish and in our time there is no good reason to have offspring and bring another life into this world just to satisfy your gut.

Sometimes children are an indirect result of peoples' insecurities, want or need for validation, way of coping with their pain.

As someone with a child, in my own experience I was just caught in the moment, irresponsible, not really thinking much about the consequences of my actions. I was lonely and blinded by all the attention I was getting that I felt deprived of. For religious reasons I didn't go through with an abortion and also reality didn't really set in until the baby came out and I had to sacrifice my comfort and convenience to take care of her. To this day I regret having a child. She's lovely, but with the problems I deal with I would rather just have myself to manage instead of another human being. And I'm not with her dad so that just adds an extra layer of inconvenience and challenge to it. I now refuse to have any children after her and I'm tempted to discourage every childless person from having children. But there's some people who truly do love the nature of children, love teaching them and molding them. For some people it pulls them out of their depression. I feel as though my responsibility to my child has prevented me from ctb and gives me a sense of purpose. Like, I'm screwed up but I'll try my darnedest to give my child a good life.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

I mean if you reject the use of science to study our minds then I can't really debate this point with you. Just be assured that there is plenty of evidence that depressed people have tunnel vision.

Psychiatry makes a lot of claims that are unfalsifiable and therefore unscientific. To quote Wikipedia:

"Psychiatry has been criticized for its broad range of mental diseases and disorders. Which diagnoses exist are considered valid have changed over time depending on society's norms. Homosexuality was considered mental illness but due to changing sociological attitudes, it is no longer recognised as an illness. Historic disorders that are no longer recognised include orthorexia nervosa, sexual addiction, parental alienation syndrome, pathological demand avoidance, Internet addiction disorder. New disorders include compulsive hoarding and binge eating disorder.

The act of diagnosis itself has been criticized for being arbitrary with some conditions being overdiagnosed. Individuals may be diagnosed with a disease despite having perceiving there as being no issues with their behaviour. In Virginia USA, it was found up to 33% of white boys are diagnosed with ADHD leading to alarm in the medical community.

Thomas Szasz argued that mental health diagnoses were used as a form of labelling violations of societies norms. Bill Fullford, introduced the idea of "value-laden" mental health diagnosis with mental health lying between physical health and a moral judgment. Under this system personality disorders are seen as not very factual and very value-laden while delerium is quite factual and not very value-laden.

In 2013, psychiatrist Allen Frances said that he believes that 'psychiatric diagnosis still relies exclusively on fallible subjective judgments rather than objective biological tests'.

Mary Boyle argues that psychiatry is actually the study of behaviour, but acts as if it is the study of the brain based on a presumed connection between patterns of behaviour and the biological function of the brain. She argues that in the case of schizophrenia it is the bizarre behaviour of individuals that justifies the presumption of a biological cause for this behaviour rather than the existence of any evidence.

She argues that the concept of schizophrenia and its biological basis serves a social function for psychiatrists. She views the concept of schizophrenia is necessary for psychiatry to be considered as a medical field, that the claimed biological link gives psychiatrists protection from accusaions of social control. And that the belief in the biological basis for schizophrenia is maintained through secondary source's misrepresentation of underlying data. She argues that schizophrenia and its biological basis also gives families, psychiatrists and society as a whole the ability to avoid blame for the damage they cause individuals and the ineffectiveness of treatment."

"[Szasz] maintained that, while people behave and think in disturbing ways, and those ways may resemble a disease process (pain, deterioration, response to various interventions), this does not mean they actually have a disease. To Szasz, disease can only mean something people 'have', while behavior is what people 'do'. Diseases are 'malfunctions of the human body, of the heart, the liver, the kidney, the brain' while 'no behavior or misbehavior is a disease or can be a disease. That's not what diseases are.' Szasz cited drapetomania as an example of a behavior that many in society did not approve of, being labeled and widely cited as a disease. Likewise, women who did not bend to a man's will were said to have hysteria. He thought that psychiatry actively obscures the difference between behavior and disease in its quest to help or harm parties in conflicts. He maintained that, by calling people diseased, psychiatry attempts to deny them responsibility as moral agents in order to better control them.

In Szasz's view, people who are said by themselves or others to have a mental illness can only have, at best, 'problems in living'. Diagnoses of 'mental illness' or 'mental disorder' (the latter expression called by Szasz a 'weasel term' for mental illness) are passed off as 'scientific categories' but they remain merely judgments (judgments of disdain) to support certain uses of power by psychiatric authorities. In that line of thinking, schizophrenia becomes not the name of a disease entity but a judgment of extreme psychiatric and social disapprobation.
[...]
A genuine disease must also be found on the autopsy table (not merely in the living person) and meet pathological definition instead of being voted into existence by members of the American Psychiatric Association."

Had psychiatry existed in Aztec culture, there is no doubt that anyone who opposed human sacrifice and the violent rituals would have been diagnosed with a mental illness.
Don't you find it odd how Drapetomania was a legitimate illness in times when slavery was normal, Hysteria was a legitimate mental illness in times when women were subordinate to men and Homosexuality was a legitimate mental illness in times when Homosexuality was criminalised? Isn't that awfully convenient? Especially since all of these were dropped when social norms changed, as if they were just a tool for control in the first place...

But this 'suffering' also gives us drive and purpose, which provide our lives with meaning and fulfillment.

If suffering gives you drive and purpose, why don't you cut your arm off? That should give you plenty of purpose. Why don't you willingly submit yourself to severe suffering if it provides you with meaning and fulfillment?

The 'suffering' of having a sex drive unfulfilled leads people to find partners, have meaningful relationships and procreate.

What if they are unable to fulfill it? There is always talk about "overcoming suffering is good", but what if someone is unable to overcome it?

 

[noname223]

Well, we are not the only anti-natalists here, more and more new generations are adopting this way of thinking

Many people become antinatalist due to the environment I think. There were many new antinatalist in my country due to this. (I have other reasons for supporting antinatalism.)But it shows humanity makes progress.

 

[Ch92921]

Psychiatry makes a lot of claims that are unfalsifiable and therefore unscientific. To quote Wikipedia:

"Psychiatry has been criticized for its broad range of mental diseases and disorders. Which diagnoses exist are considered valid have changed over time depending on society's norms. Homosexuality was considered mental illness but due to changing sociological attitudes, it is no longer recognised as an illness. Historic disorders that are no longer recognised include orthorexia nervosa, sexual addiction, parental alienation syndrome, pathological demand avoidance, Internet addiction disorder. New disorders include compulsive hoarding and binge eating disorder.

The act of diagnosis itself has been criticized for being arbitrary with some conditions being overdiagnosed. Individuals may be diagnosed with a disease despite having perceiving there as being no issues with their behaviour. In Virginia USA, it was found up to 33% of white boys are diagnosed with ADHD leading to alarm in the medical community.

Thomas Szasz argued that mental health diagnoses were used as a form of labelling violations of societies norms. Bill Fullford, introduced the idea of "value-laden" mental health diagnosis with mental health lying between physical health and a moral judgment. Under this system personality disorders are seen as not very factual and very value-laden while delerium is quite factual and not very value-laden.

In 2013, psychiatrist Allen Frances said that he believes that 'psychiatric diagnosis still relies exclusively on fallible subjective judgments rather than objective biological tests'.

Mary Boyle argues that psychiatry is actually the study of behaviour, but acts as if it is the study of the brain based on a presumed connection between patterns of behaviour and the biological function of the brain. She argues that in the case of schizophrenia it is the bizarre behaviour of individuals that justifies the presumption of a biological cause for this behaviour rather than the existence of any evidence.

She argues that the concept of schizophrenia and its biological basis serves a social function for psychiatrists. She views the concept of schizophrenia is necessary for psychiatry to be considered as a medical field, that the claimed biological link gives psychiatrists protection from accusaions of social control. And that the belief in the biological basis for schizophrenia is maintained through secondary source's misrepresentation of underlying data. She argues that schizophrenia and its biological basis also gives families, psychiatrists and society as a whole the ability to avoid blame for the damage they cause individuals and the ineffectiveness of treatment."

"[Szasz] maintained that, while people behave and think in disturbing ways, and those ways may resemble a disease process (pain, deterioration, response to various interventions), this does not mean they actually have a disease. To Szasz, disease can only mean something people 'have', while behavior is what people 'do'. Diseases are 'malfunctions of the human body, of the heart, the liver, the kidney, the brain' while 'no behavior or misbehavior is a disease or can be a disease. That's not what diseases are.' Szasz cited drapetomania as an example of a behavior that many in society did not approve of, being labeled and widely cited as a disease. Likewise, women who did not bend to a man's will were said to have hysteria. He thought that psychiatry actively obscures the difference between behavior and disease in its quest to help or harm parties in conflicts. He maintained that, by calling people diseased, psychiatry attempts to deny them responsibility as moral agents in order to better control them.

In Szasz's view, people who are said by themselves or others to have a mental illness can only have, at best, 'problems in living'. Diagnoses of 'mental illness' or 'mental disorder' (the latter expression called by Szasz a 'weasel term' for mental illness) are passed off as 'scientific categories' but they remain merely judgments (judgments of disdain) to support certain uses of power by psychiatric authorities. In that line of thinking, schizophrenia becomes not the name of a disease entity but a judgment of extreme psychiatric and social disapprobation.
[...]
A genuine disease must also be found on the autopsy table (not merely in the living person) and meet pathological definition instead of being voted into existence by members of the American Psychiatric Association."

Had psychiatry existed in Aztec culture, there is no doubt that anyone who opposed human sacrifice and the violent rituals would have been diagnosed with a mental illness.
Don't you find it odd how Drapetomania was a legitimate illness in times when slavery was normal, Hysteria was a legitimate mental illness in times when women were subordinate to men and Homosexuality was a legitimate mental illness in times when Homosexuality was criminalised? Isn't that awfully convenient? Especially since all of these were dropped when social norms changed, as if they were just a tool for control in the first place...


If suffering gives you drive and purpose, why don't you cut your arm off? That should give you plenty of purpose. Why don't you willingly submit yourself to severe suffering if it provides you with meaning and fulfillment?

What if they are unable to fulfill it? There is always talk about "overcoming suffering is good", but what if someone is unable to overcome it?

Sexual Orientation is biological(genetic,hormonal,neurobiological) not psycholigical.

And in some homosexual there is indeed something flawed about the genetics. Me included.

Also gender identity is biological.

 

[greyhound]

Psychiatry makes a lot of claims that are unfalsifiable and therefore unscientific. To quothe act of diagnosis itself has been criticized for being arbitrary with some conditions being overdiagnosed. Individuals may be diagnosed with a disease despite having perceiving there as being no issues with their behaviour. In Virginia USA, it was found up to 33% of white boys are diagnosed with ADHD leading to alarm in the medical community.

I agree psychiatry has it's flaws, but their assertion that depressed people can't see out of their current perspective is valid. It's just a general fact that people tend to seek confirmation of their own biases. This has been validated many times over in different arenas. So I think in general it's healthy to seek viewpoints that differ from one's own, and not listen exclusively to other depressed people on SS.

If suffering gives you drive and purpose, why don't you cut your arm off? That should give you plenty of purpose. Why don't you willingly submit yourself to severe suffering if it provides you with meaning and fulfillment?

What if they are unable to fulfill it? There is always talk about "overcoming suffering is good", but what if someone is unable to overcome it?

Eustress is defined as moderate stress that is beneficial for the experiencer. This is suffering, but on a milder level and something that can be motivating and drive adaptive behavior. Suffering that is overwhelming and is due to circumstances that cannot be changed is something that drives people to suicide. I guess the hard part is determining whether the suffering can be overcome or if throwing in the towel on life is the best course of action.

 

[TheSomebody]

Eustress is defined as moderate stress that is beneficial for the experiencer. This is suffering, but on a milder level and something that can be motivating and drive adaptive behavior. Suffering that is overwhelming and is due to circumstances that cannot be changed is something that drives people to suicide. I guess the hard part is determining whether the suffering can be overcome or if throwing in the towel on life is the best course of action.

Suffering is just a failure necessary to correct another failure. It doesn't mean it's good, just that this is how things work.