I have just had a breakdown in front of everyone. My mother was saying something exhausting and I sat down on the floor and started to cry. She called my sister. I have told her and my aunt that I want to kill myself but I don't have the courage to. Thank God they didn't take that much seriously or I would be in real trouble. I told them I can't bear my parents' son who is like a goon and I can't focus on studying and I have exams. I don't think I can make it, but this exam is like the most important exam in our country. They advised me and gave me hopes. My sister said she will make sure there will be no trouble or yelling at home and no one will come to my room so that I can study in peace.
But I know perfectly well there is no hope. No chance I can study, or leave this home. And yet I am here because I don't have the courage to kill myself. Thats why I've had a breakdown in front of everyone, because of the pain and my unbearable situation. I wasn't meant to tell everyone I want to kill myself. Fear to die is making me go through unbelievable hell and I am causing trouble. I don't know how to stay alive or ctb
But I know perfectly well there is no hope. No chance I can study, or leave this home. And yet I am here because I don't have the courage to kill myself. Thats why I've had a breakdown in front of everyone, because of the pain and my unbearable situation. I wasn't meant to tell everyone I want to kill myself. Fear to die is making me go through unbelievable hell and I am causing trouble. I don't know how to stay alive or ctb
