have you told anyone in real life that you want to ctb?


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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Parents know, they are pressing me to get support from a psychiatrist
 
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CrazyMary

CrazyMary

Student
Sep 20, 2020
135
Yes, my therapists, some close friends and family. I do want help and that´s why I am going to therapy and taking meds, but things have gotten worse and it might be time for oing it for real. I do think that by telling them it´s not such a shock for them, you do get some input. Might not be the one you want to hear. Some cases might be " you are facing this problems because you can solve them", or "why would you kill yourself for this" but then again they don´t really understand how it is being in my shoes.
 
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KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
Countless times. Nowadays I mostly tell people that I have suicidal thoughts. They usually give some stupid advice but even this is appreciated
 
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BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

---
Apr 8, 2020
1,635
No, why would you? I think people who do this secretly want to be rescued and not CTB.
Not necessarily true. I told one person because I needed someone to know how bad things are - framed it as purely passive ideation, of course. I told my friends to prepare them. In all cases I didn't want to be rescued. If I wanted to be rescued I would call my therapist and tell her "I'm actively suicidal, I have a plan, I have the needed materials, and I'm worried that I will kill myself unless I have professional intervention."
 
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WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
Yes I have told two people and it backfired both times. One was sympathetic but not helpful and the other just gave me shit over it. I shouldn't have said anything and just CTB'ed on my own terms.
 
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pennylanefinaltake

Member
Aug 7, 2020
28
I told my mother repeatedly for many years. She just pretends she doesn't hear me or doesn't understand. My ex knew I was and had no idea how to handle it and made me feel ashamed about it. Years ago, a friend just about had enough of my depression and told me "get over yourself". Recently I told two friends that I have thoughts and ideation. It's a super tiny relief to have done so but I have since learnt never to tell my friends everything. They won't know how to handle it.
 
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LonelyNick

LonelyNick

They/Them, He/Him
Jul 15, 2020
262
Told my brother a joke about dying and it didn't went well. I thankfully have a supportive friend that's been helping me and will be with me after I drank the SN.
 
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ghostspace

ghostspace

ghost space, ghosts pace
Feb 10, 2020
410
everyone knows and would immediately think of that if I call and they don't have time to pick up until later. I can hear the worry in their voice.

I'd rather be honest with people; I know not everyone is in a situation where they can do that, but those close to me know my mental health is in dire straits.
 
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nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Specialist
Sep 11, 2020
361
I didnt tell anyone because I dont want to be rescue, and I know they will not understand because I never share my problem, recently I spoke about my autism and only my ex believe me, everyone just doubt it, so they wont understand that death is my only way to finally be in peace
 
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OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
My mum and a friend. The former is getting tired of hearing about it, and the latter doesn't really seem to care. Needless to say, I'm in no danger of being sectioned or reported. Good.
 
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TheSomebody

TheSomebody

...
Sep 28, 2020
283
I don't even talk about my mental illnesses, much less that I would ctb. I'm very ashamed of my depression, I can't explain why . But it is quite obvious that they know that I am depressed, because there is no way anyone with a life as fucked up as mine be happy.
 
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NeverGoodEnuff

Specialist
Sep 28, 2020
398
People can't get your goat if you don't tell them where it's tied.

So, no. I have told no one.

It has been my experience that if you tell someone what has hurt you, they will use it against you later and make things worse.

I wear the mask of confidence and success. They leave me alone.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,870
I thought this could be interesting. I haven't told anyone and i think i'll never be able to
Times change, I assume. Many people in my real life know that I'm suicidal and it sucks.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I learned not to burden others with it.
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
Yes, it wasn't to be helped or saved. It wanted to let him know I couldn't cope with him treating me like trash while also happily getting ready to go hook up with the home wrecker he divided the family for. I didn't want to be impulsive and unstable, and wanted to die on my terms rather than because he pushed me over the edge.

If he pushes your face in the mud and you suffocate, it is no proof that you wanted to suffocate. It is proof that he needs to be brought to justice in short order.
 
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Gerard de Nerval

Gerard de Nerval

Ontologist
Oct 5, 2020
145
I have, but only in the past tense. Every person that has been close to me knew my partner that ctb. If I ever even flirt with the idea of me planning it, they will immediately intervene which will cause problems for myself.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Brother, dad, girlfriend. They all know and all will be upset and I'm sorry but there's not much I can do about it. Mum I haven't told explicitly because she's the kind of arsehole who'll ring someone to stop me and I'm not doing this again. It hasn't got better in ten years. All they do is stop you killing yourself not stop you wanting to. No point dragging this out any longer. When my parents could have helped they didn't so fuck em tbqh. My brother and girlfriend are innocent victims in all this. I can only hope they have more chance getting over it than I do getting over the reason I want to die. Both dad and girlfriend have given me the it's how you feel, it can get better talk but I don't believe they believe that. I believe it's for them. Don't blame them really. As I say though I care much more about my girlfriend. Unlike my dad if there was anything she could do to help she would. Unfortunately there isn't anymore. She wasn't in my life when I could actually be saved. She's unlucky to have fallen for someone who's days are numbered
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
One could always leave a detailed note explaining everything. That's what I'm going to do and I've already gotten started on it.

Yes, one could but there are other approaches too. I have a terminal illness and need the closest people to me to be prepared to let me go. If you like detailed notes that's fine but it doesn't qualify you to judge others' intentions.
 
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UglyDuck666

UglyDuck666

Member
Nov 14, 2020
44
I told that my mom.
Her answer: "Do it once and for all". Idk, her sense of humor is weird
 
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