My two parents will be devastated until they die. It will take decades for my best friend to heal a bit from the loss. My brother will be a bit sad for sure, but I think he'll be able to cope. Other non-close friends and acquaintances may be somewhat heavyhearted for a while but surely will be able to move on easily.
In the short term, my parents will have to organize the funerals, get rid of my belongings, clear my appartment, … That's a burden I'd like to minimize for them while I'm alive but I'm not sure how to do it. I think I'll open a thread at some point on this specific topic.
Otherwise, I think absolutely nothing else would change. Only a few people would be genuinely sad, maybe miss me sometimes, maybe not understand, and that's it. It enrages me that my only insentive to not kms right now is to not make my close family sad. If only they were able to objectify how absurd this is, but they can't think with their brain. I have to suffer just so that they can enjoy their lives enough. Fuck life, seriously. Fuck fuck fuck. I saw the profound concern in my father's eyes when I left him last week, I can't help but think that's .1% of the pain he'll go through when I die, and that's shiveringly terrifying.
