Discussion Have you guys neglected yourself?

[LittleMagician]

I used to be someone who took pride in myself and took quite good care of myself I would say, showering everyday, doing my hair, I had a whole skin care routine I had a good diet but now I have neglected myself so hard. My hair is matted I haven't showered in a week, I haven't brushed my teeth in over a week, my diet is absolutely abysmal I either eat so much to the point I vomit or eat nothing. I am literally bed bound and rotting away as we speak. I am wondering if any of you have had similar experiences?

 

[Apathy79]

Yeah I go through laziness phases that would shock people. Up until a week ago, I hadn't washed the dishes since December last year, or my clothes since October. I did my first vacuum in at least a year. When I took the rubbish out last week, it took about 8 runs down to the bin to get it all down there. It's probably the 2nd or 3rd time I've taken it out all year.

And I'm much better now than I was as a hermit! I would estimate I have gone over a month both without showering or brushing teeth when I never saw anyone, probably a few times, and a week between each shower/brush was probably about average.

My diet is also terrible. If that's related I'm not sure. All I've eaten today is a pizza and a tub of ice cream. That is astonishingly regular. I went through a phase in 2021 where I posted the 94 pizza boxes I had piled up from the last 60 days on Facebook. It was basically all I ate for 2 months.

 

[snow.mp4]

I used to be someone who took pride in myself and took quite good care of myself I would say, showering everyday, doing my hair, I had a whole skin care routine I had a good diet but now I have neglected myself so hard. My hair is matted I haven't showered in a week, I haven't brushed my teeth in over a week, my diet is absolutely abysmal I either eat so much to the point I vomit or eat nothing. I am literally bed bound and rotting away as we speak. I am wondering if any of you have had similar experiences?

of course! i used to workout incredibly often, try to be as productive as possible which used to be a big source of my pride, but lately im not even doing 5% of what i used to do, its little like having a sense of ur self be ripped away as a result of emotions, im sure many people felt it before. its hard to stand up straight, hard to care, dont wanna wake up, and all that kinda stuff, just really exhausted

 

[butimstillsoblue]

Can totally relate. The amount of neglect depends on if I have to go to work. I'm all alone and have to go to work, other wise I'd be homeless. The amount of effort I put into self care and my appearance is pathetic.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

I try to look after myself but I'm failing miserably. I clean my teeth but they're far from perfect atm and I can't get a dentist's appointment to save my life (thanks, British government). I don't have the energy to style my hair like I used to, I'm not exercising enough because it gives me so much anxiety, I have chronic pain that I can't afford to see a physiotherapist about, and I find shaving also gives me anxious so I never do it in time.

I try to eat healthily and I am somewhat successful at that but I stress eat sometimes and mess up. Healthy weight but too high a body fat percentage and low muscle mass. Genetically high cholesterol and my medication raises my blood pressure a bit so I really need to kick on with eating healthier and exercising more.

It's just so hard. Every little thing makes me paralysed with anxiety.

 

[other-ghost]

Right now, i am 'trying' to take care of myself. For what? I need my environment to see me that way.

But i used to neglect myself so much. I don't shower for weeks (even now, it's still hard for me to shower everyday), my room is..well, let's say it's also home for bugs since i never clean it, my body is ruined, i don't eat good, etc. The only motivation for me to take care of myself is to build an image before i CTB, which is probably soon.

But i know it's so hard to just.. get up, and take care even for a bit. So, i feel you.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Not showering for at least a week, wearing the same clothes for literally weeks, not taking medication, not eating to the point of los blood sugar, going days without sleeping or sleeping for days at a time, sores that won't heal. Yup, I feel you.

 

[HarryCobean]

I do actually shower every day, but otherwise I don't look after myself really.

 

[CatLvr]

All my life. I was raised to believe that EVERYONE came before me. The last year or so I have tried to reset that default. Man, changing your own behavior after SO many years of doing certain things is harder than it sounds. I feel SO guilty and selfish when I do something for myself. I'm getting better, though. And I can freely admit, a little less suicidal.

 

[divinemistress36]

Ya Ive gotten fat. Only wash my hair once a week . Sometimes go a week without washing myself. Room and bathroom is messy. Oddly enough I can still go for walks though probably cause it makes my dog happy

 

[SecretDissociation]

Yeah. I gained weight (blaming it on the ED and meds). Brushing my teeth becomes harder everyday. Showering becomes harder. My mother reminds me and stuff sometimes. I used to be a skincare fanatic but nowadays I can only wash my face and put on lipgloss. It's just so hard.

But also the sensory issues suck. I hate getting wet and then being damp when washing its horrific and the noise and feeling of brushing and hair I hate hair. But I also have no will to just do it sometimes. (most of the time) It's just hard and harder when you want to die and see no light.

 

[Hollowman]

My teeth are rotting away and I could care less. I haven't been to a doctor in many years because I hate them all. I do shower everyday for some reason though.

 

[Chaosire]

I had a dentist appointment, 2 weeks ago. Finally had the motivation to take care of myself again, to fix my neglected teeth and start taking care of them again..
I've brushed my teeth the day after.. but no matter how much I try, I can't seem to get myself to take of myself. I'm almost 30 and I'm getting pimples again, cuz I can sometimes only shower once a week or less.. I was doing so well for, like, a month.. and then I just crashed. I really hope the mobile team and upcomming sheltered living can help. Feels so stupid, I'm mentally ill, physically I'm fine.. But no matter how often I try, I can't seem to take care of myself for longer than a week.

 

[ilvgore]

yeah, my looks and health suffered greatly from my depression.
Yellow teeth and at the bottom they are slightly white, didn't brush my hair for a long time and it was tangled up it got so bad that i had to cut off some of my hair, i had a bad body odor basically i didn't wash myself, i stayed up all night and slept during the day, i was telling myself that i shouldn't get better which to this day i regret because now i have to deal with the consequences
i neglected my school and have so many missing days, my grades suffered, my friendships that i neglected
i didn't eat a lot and when i ate, i ate unhealthy not many nutrients, never went outside, drank only soda not any water
the worst part is i was belittling myself and playing the victim
but depression is hard guys im not judging
some more things:
my room looked completely like a mess, like a tornado was in it
i kept rotten food on my shelves, old cornflakes with milk, old meat, bones from the meat
i didn't change my bed sheets for months
didn't change my underwear
dirty clothes all other the place
never opened the window so it.. wasn't a nice smell
all kinds of suspicious liquids found in my bedroom
but slowly im pulling myself together and getting better with each step

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Externally, I do the minimum socially acceptable, to blend in and not tell the world what's going on inside. But internally, mentally, emotionally, yeah I'm an emaciated withered shell of what used to be almost human. I don't know why or how I keep faking it. I do NOT want attention I guess.

 

[encore]

i started taking better care of myself in spite of my suicidality because my sensory issues of having a dirty/pained body will make things a million times worse. even when i feel very depressed and unmotivated, discomfort makes me get up from my bed, but i don't do much outside of that.

 

[GalacticWarrior777]

I believe we all have. In my case, I used to be quite fit, weighing just around 55 kgs 3 years ago, Ive had a good diet, I exercised a lot, Ive had a morning routine, I showered daily and would have overall good hygiene. It all really changed around summer 2024, when I would start to go downhill very quickly with my mental health. It caused me to gain a lot of weight, stop my morning routine, get lazy and stop exercising, and my hygiene got way worse. It's slowly getting back to normal now, but there was a period like that.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I could have written this.

 

[axab43]

It is so good to read all these other comments, as you get the feeing you are the only one who can possibly live like this and the guilt makes the depression/low self image worse. Then it all goes round in a circle. I really struggle with all of this but no one wants to talk about it in the "normal" world.

 

[tearstatic]

Yes, I hate myself so I just don't see the point. I often think to myself "What's the point in caring for something that is killing me?"

 

[wantingdignity]

I took my first shower in a week a couple days ago. I'm still very much depressed, but it gave me some relief. I'm depressed and suicidal, but at least I don't smell awful. It allowed me to give and receive hugs from friends that I really needed.

I would really reach out to someone if you're at this stage of neglect. At this point, mental illness if preventing you from caring for yourself. I had to get someone to sit with me while I cleaned part of my house. Treat it like a physical injury - something is preventing you from operating at a "normal" capacity and you might benefit from accommodating those needs.

My heart goes out to you. I'm still really struggling, but not as bad as it was a few weeks ago (before meds). I'm still suicidal and my home still has huge piles of doom; but at least I'm past the point of smelling as bad as I did.

 

[axolotlotl]

Yeah it can be really hard to see any reason to look after yourself past a certain point. I've been able to shower and I've been working towards skincare and brushing my teeth but it's too much to stick to.