Have you given up?

[DivineSpark]

No hope? Things wont get better for you?

 

[NonEssential]

Pretty much, it's pretty sad seeing people think I can have an okay future. I'm sorry to disappoint them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally just don't see existence as worth it in the first place, I don't see any point to any of this and I'd just prefer to not exist no matter what than suffer all for the sake of it in this existence where I'm just waiting for death anyway, to me existence really does feel like a mistake and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence of unnecessary suffering and cruelty was even imposed at all. I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist and I find it so horrific how a human can suffer for so long burdened with this futile, torturous existence with no limit as to how much they can suffer just to die in agony from old age, for me non-existence is the only peace, it's all I personally see as positive in this existence where there's all this endless suffering all for the sake of it.

 

[Thomas Rekowicz]

After i understood that i will never be a dad and have my own family because of trauma i can't heal i gave up. I know 25 years is not much but i endure such psychological emotional and sexual abuse (by my mother) from my own parents that i will never be happy again i will never be whole as a person again. I don't even know what normal feelings without fear of rejection are. Now i want only to CTB.

 

[divinemistress36]

I think its possible improve a little bit but not enough to make it worth it

 

[wishingiwasok]

I know it's never getting any better but I'm still in that cycle of struggling for better, finding hope, having that hope crushed, then feeling so stupid because I already knew that it wasn't going to get better.

 

[Raven2]

I dont really have hope but I'm still not ready to ctb. Just going through the motions of life

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I am utterly hopeless. Just haven't developed enough courage to cbt yet.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

I'm in a very confusing in between.

I've more or less given up on my hopes of ever recovering from the health problems developed from medication prescribed to me nearly a decade ago, but i still try my best to live healthily in every regard. I do this mainly so that things won't get worse. I want to be wrong so badly though, but part of me is starting to believe that even if I did recover right this instant, I'd still be left with so much despair over losing my latter teenage years and almost all of my 20s now and how this has almost entirely shattered my social and dating life.

Also, I feel I stick around more because I'm scared of taking my SN. If I had access to a firearm, I think I'd take a week to wrap things up and take my "cure".

 

[Fall_Apart]

Absolutely hopeless. I'm outta time, but I have a few things to sort out before I leave. It's just a matter of time.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I thought I had. I definitely felt more hopeless and committed to ctb these past few weeks than I've ever been...but now, for whatever FUCKING REASON, my mind is starting to heal and feel more calm. Completely against my will. My will is to give up, my will is to finally have something come out my way. I was so sure of my emotions, my reasons and now it feels like my own subconscious is betraying me. There are two voices in my head, one telling me to continue and move on, the other telling me to give up because I've been here before and I don't want to keep doing this bullshit, specially after what has happened.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

After the events of last month, I've given up completely. Somehow it keeps getting worse, it's beyond belief for me. Every time I look in the mirror I see less of a man in my reflection. Counting down the days to my CTB is the only activity that gets a reaction from me at this point

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

I still make sporadic attempts to improve my life out of reflex and instinct but the logical part of my brain knows it's over.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I'm trying not to, but it's a bit more complicated than that for me

 

[FishRain3469]

Haven't Completely given up. Yett.. But it seems Closer and closer as the days go by... Fck.- - Damnt. Idk Anymore.. Fml. God Help Me.

 

[Rose Mine]

I want to give up so badly. My family keeps me going but jfc is it hard and the suicidal ideation keeps getting stronger

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I still make sporadic attempts to improve my life out of reflex and instinct but the logical part of my brain knows it's over.

Life inside my head would be so much more peaceful if I could shut up that reflex and instinct...

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

It's like a constant f*kn roller coaster. Losing hope, finding hope, battling through the maze, just as I think there is some hope it disappears again. I thought I was ok again yesterday, but today it's dark again. The circle of hopelessness, like some force dangling a carrot of hope, playing us, keeping the real hope out of reach. The only thing keeping me going at this point... a belief, a belief that no matter how hopeless things may seem for the future, this present is only temporary. Thanks for reminding me of this today, may the universe work its magic for all of us today, and one day at a time.

 

[_void]

It really doesn't help when I try to talk to people about my struggles in life and if I say anything remotely hinting towards ctb they will say some guilt tripping bs or something along the lines of you have so much more life to live. It does make me feel frustrated and annoyed. I don't see the point in wasting energy having hope for myself I can only take things a moment at a time, things haven't been improving for me and I don't see how they could

 

[Hollowman]

Yeah I gave up a long time ago. If I don't ctb soon I'm going to be a middle-aged neet living with and off of my mother. Wish I would've ctb when I was twelve.

 

[CravingPeace]

I still make sporadic attempts to improve my life out of reflex and instinct but the logical part of my brain knows it's over.

This is exactly how I feel.

 

[SilentSadness]

No hope about this world, my death feels long overdue and I don't feel I have belonged here for a very long time. This world is just not what it should be and no amount of persevering, ignorance, determination or luck can change that. I hope that the next world after I die is vastly different, otherwise I will be content with ceasing to exist permanently.

 

[living.dead.girl]

I strongly believe that those whom perish earlier than they are meant, are doomed to repeat the same exact fate they attempted to escape in another life yet to come.

"Life is a lesson, you learn it when you′re through."

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's more that I want to give up. Not that I believe things won't get better if I put in (enormous) amounts of effort (again...) More that the improvements won't be enough reward for the effort put in. They haven't been in my 45 years experience of life. Why would that change now?

Now, my greatest wish is to rest and have no more obligations. That state doesn't really exist outside of death/ before birth. My lucky lucky unborn children, that I've spared them all this shit. Sometimes that feels like my greatest achievement in life. Not inflicting life on another being.

 

[pauly369]

I gave up a long time ago.
Nothing gets any better.
Only thoughts of dying keeps me sane thesedays.

It's more that I want to give up. Not that I believe things won't get better if I put in (enormous) amounts of effort (again...) More that the improvements won't be enough reward for the effort put in. They haven't been in my 45 years experience of life. Why would that change now?

Now, my greatest wish is to rest and have no more obligations. That state doesn't really exist outside of death/ before birth. My lucky lucky unborn children, that I've spared them all this shit. Sometimes that feels like my greatest achievement in life. Not inflicting life on another being.

Same here : Im too old to have kids now. Somehow I always knew from an early age that I would never marry or have children.
Its such a massive relief to not have children, especiallly in this day and age.
When I see Mums pushing babies around in prams I feel incredibly sad for them because this world is becoming more hellish by the day, yet those tiny kids have no comprehension of what is in store for them.