Have you found meaning in your suffering or in life? What is it?

[noname223]

There is this philosophical question whether you can find meaning in your suffering. It shall help people to cope with their pain. In my opinion sometimes there is pain which does not have a good reason. This isn't in any form productive or can be overcomed. These people often tend to severe suicidality or finally they ctb. But this is recovery section.

What is your experience? Have you found a meaning in life or even in your suffering? Or was it just the inability to overcome SI? Has the pain decreased when time was passed? Were there changements in your worldview? Kind of a metaphysical reasoning which helped you to stay alive. Is there something that keeps you alive? Like some words you always tell yourself? A person you think of? Role models?

I have metaphysical arguments which shall help me to fight for getting better. Or at least to get through the day. I try not to give up despite it is sometimes really tough. Sometimes I just wish I would have given up. Though this absolute hopelessness was for me absolutely soulcrushing.
Maybe it sounds weird but David Foster Wallace is kind of role model in some sense. He was really suicidal for many decades. In the end he ctb but he tried almost everything to get better. Someone in this forum called him a little bit too pro-life which is quite ironic because he killed himself and he made some stances which showed quite the opposite. Maybe a persona is not black or white. I just try as him to do almost everything to avoid suicide. I often have the feeling there is no point in fighting then the possibility to ctb comforts me in case everything fails.

I don't really have found a meaning in life and not really in my suffering. I often analyze why I am suffering that much. Most comes from my childhood and my time as a teenager. The abuse and bullying destroyed my soul.
However I try to live according to some ethical principles. This gives my life in some sense meaning. It feels good trying to contribute to a better world. On the other hand I probably can't achieve not even slightly as much as I want to. My power to change something is very narrow. And of course I also do bad things. But this is just human.

My worldview has changed. But not that much. In my darkest hours I was extremely pessimistic. I was in extreme pain. Very nihilistic. After that I tried to find some other philosophies which have a better influence on my mental health. I tried to reflect more on my pessimism. Wanted to know if my depression deluded me. I am really trying to find the truth. My situation seems quite hopeless but I try to fight. If you have not tried you can't know the results.

What are your thoughts on that? Have you found a meaning in life? Do you know why you are suffering this much?

 

[dospi1]

While suffering can be meaningfull i doubt any kind of suffering that leads you to ctb will ever be that, a hearthbrake can mean the growing of one as a person for example, but absolute incapacity from someone to move on from a relationship like ive seen here before its not that, at the end it was just pure torture for her. Anykind of sufffering that leads you to truogh the path of ctb usualy is that kind of pointless suffering that is so cruel about reality.
sorry to be so somber here just wants to join the philosofical discusion C:

 

[motel rooms]

I've found no meaning in my suffering. It's just a heavy sack filled with stones I have to carry on my back. I live for my partner, it's as simple & as complicated as that. I want to take care of him & I need him to take care of me.

 

[timf]

When I look back on a past with abuse, I can see that it kept me from getting entangled with business, romantic, and academic "success". For this I am grateful. I didn't get married until I was 43 and I am so glad that I waited to find someone with whom I could spend the rest of my life.

Abuse was also helpful in sensitizing me to problems that need swift solution. Like a person who escaped from a Japanese POW camp through the jungle, I am not a person with suave social skills. However, being a survivor does impart an ability to ruthlessness that can be useful in cutting through BS to get to what is real. I think this was helpful in returning to my Christian faith because the way various denominations present Christianity requires a lot of cutting through BS.

I think the experiences was also useful in helping me to be more sensitive and understanding of the pain of others. When I look at myself, I see a person with a high level of selfishness that in more normal circumstances would have been a real jerk. The process has not been completely transformative such that I am now a saint. Rather just less selfish.

 

[Sherri]

Finding love helped me a lot, having someone to tell me I love you, I missed you. That's what did saved me in part along with my doc and all of my lovely friends at ss that includes you noname. I think you are a kind person that will find your way too. I'm not healed and I just have to accept that I just have to love with ups and downs all my life. Will keep my sn and all my kit just in case.

 

[kitch]

I think I began to disengage with commonly held values.
I was raised in a cult ... I never adjusted to society as a successful person .
always a loser ( mental illness precluding integration with anything but low skilled work ... to emotionally distraugh to use my mind ... )
Anyway ...
It set me on a path of being distant from "self evident truths" , "cultural norms" , all that socially acceptable stuff.
My family was ashamed of my lack of integration .

NowI regard myself as being reluctant to contribute to a Civilization that seems to be a hate machine , primarily.

I have recently become acquainted with "Negative Utilitarianism" which rings my bell a bit , in that it philosophically accentuates the reduction of suffering as the ultimate goal really.

Not a huge profit , not more of everything , just less suffering.

So my initial 'odd man out' crazy loser life (that hurt) has allowed me to see other options as more valid than the reality we are all living in .

Nature is a suffering engine , and as intelligent creatures , it seems obvious that the priority should be to pu as much energy as possible into reducing that suffering .
Things could actually be quite tolerable if thst was the new global plan .
Kind of funny how simple it is really.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The meaning of my suffering is to punish me for all of the horrible things I've done, are doing, and will do if I'm left alive. It ain't that deep.

Granted much of the suffering I've caused was targeted at myself but that's no excuse.

I think the ultimate goal for my suffering is simply to force me to want to end it, for my own sake and for those around me. Hopefully anyone else who is just as evil as me and deserves their suffering will take the same path because the world would be a much better place if everyone like me was gone but I know I can't force anyone so I'm content with just removing such a tiny tiny piece of overall evil by killing myself.

 

[rationaltake]

I've found no meaning in my suffering. It's just a heavy sack filled with stones I have to carry on my back. I live for my partner, it's as simple & as complicated as that. I want to take care of him & I need him to take care of me.

Nor me. No meaning at all. I have DID due to extreme trauma from birth. I drew the short straw in life. And life is unfair.

 

[rationaltake]

@motel rooms I'm glad you and your partner have each other. I have someone who wants to live for me. I wish I could live for this person but I'm too broken even for that.

 

[Arrow]

I don't mean this super literally, but I try to look at my life like a story or an epic. I try to look at the struggle as just something that can help build my character. I try to tell myself that without a struggle my story would mean nothing, and I'll try to take inspiration from people in fiction who have struggled a lot (even though that's stilly). It's easy to forget that when you're in the very bottom of a pit of some bad situation, but I'll remember that having something to struggle against means I must have something to fight for, and that will help me crawl back out. Of course, I'll fall straight back down into something again anyways, but I will try not to stay there.

 

[motel rooms]

@motel rooms I'm glad you and your partner have each other. I have someone who wants to live for me. I wish I could live for this person but I'm too broken even for that.

I wish I could change that for you... Unlike many people in the Recovery section, I don't believe in free will. I'm not really choosing to go on for my husband, I'm doing it because I have no choice but to love him & because I'm lucky that that's enough to make my life bearable.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

In CBT there's a cognitive distortion called the Heaven's Reward fallacy. usually it's when you feel that good things should happen because you are trying to be good, or that bad things only happen to bad people.

In reality there's no rhyme or reason to suffering or to pleasure. It's more complicated than needing to suffer a little to work harder or be stronger. You can be strong without people mistreating you, and you can be disciplined or successful without "deserving" it.

If you feel that this kind of thinking causes you stress it might be worth thinking about it a bit. Is this belief really as rational as it sounds? Could it be a way of trying to rationalize other people's behavior, or to sort of blame yourself for things that really don't need to be so severely punished for?

the way I see it, i dont think anyone needs to feel extremely anxious, depressed, or suicidal to know what happiness is. And there are very few wrongs that are genuinely deserving of those feelings as well. Sometimes bad things happen, and they can happen for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes theres no reason at all. Theres all sorts of systems and circumstances outside of your control.

 

[callme]

Sure I have, it's to keep getting worse

 

[solisoccasus]

There is this philosophical question whether you can find meaning in your suffering. It shall help people to cope with their pain. In my opinion sometimes there is pain which does not have a good reason. This isn't in any form productive or can be overcomed. These people often tend to severe suicidality or finally they ctb. But this is recovery section.

What is your experience? Have you found a meaning in life or even in your suffering? Or was it just the inability to overcome SI? Has the pain decreased when time was passed? Were there changements in your worldview? Kind of a metaphysical reasoning which helped you to stay alive. Is there something that keeps you alive? Like some words you always tell yourself? A person you think of? Role models?

I have metaphysical arguments which shall help me to fight for getting better. Or at least to get through the day. I try not to give up despite it is sometimes really tough. Sometimes I just wish I would have given up. Though this absolute hopelessness was for me absolutely soulcrushing.
Maybe it sounds weird but David Foster Wallace is kind of role model in some sense. He was really suicidal for many decades. In the end he ctb but he tried almost everything to get better. Someone in this forum called him a little bit too pro-life which is quite ironic because he killed himself and he made some stances which showed quite the opposite. Maybe a persona is not black or white. I just try as him to do almost everything to avoid suicide. I often have the feeling there is no point in fighting then the possibility to ctb comforts me in case everything fails.

I don't really have found a meaning in life and not really in my suffering. I often analyze why I am suffering that much. Most comes from my childhood and my time as a teenager. The abuse and bullying destroyed my soul.
However I try to live according to some ethical principles. This gives my life in some sense meaning. It feels good trying to contribute to a better world. On the other hand I probably can't achieve not even slightly as much as I want to. My power to change something is very narrow. And of course I also do bad things. But this is just human.

My worldview has changed. But not that much. In my darkest hours I was extremely pessimistic. I was in extreme pain. Very nihilistic. After that I tried to find some other philosophies which have a better influence on my mental health. I tried to reflect more on my pessimism. Wanted to know if my depression deluded me. I am really trying to find the truth. My situation seems quite hopeless but I try to fight. If you have not tried you can't know the results.

What are your thoughts on that? Have you found a meaning in life? Do you know why you are suffering this much?

I'm still hoping to find one even though i'm not really sure if i would be able to. It's just that everytime i do, there's this sinkhole that pulls me back and there it is again. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness, longingness.

 

[rationaltake]

I wish I could change that for you... Unlike many people in the Recovery section, I don't believe in free will. I'm not really choosing to go on for my husband, I'm doing it because I have no choice but to love him & because I'm lucky that that's enough to make my life bearable.

Thanks. I have glimpses of how things could have been. Which torment me. I think I understand what you mean about free will. More and more I feel that my life was determined by my early circumstances and I can't escape the mould. I hope things only get better for you.

 

[Un-]

Simply to extend and exhaust myself. This idea was spawned by Jordan Peterson I suppose, but more so on books I've read on memory and education - that you may think you have the worst memory, or the worst affinity for education on the planet, but natural talents, natural intellect and comprehension plays a small role in succeeding in any-such fields. After further research and experimentation of the techniques listed - one being, for example, memory isn't based on drone repetition, but rather on feeding your brain information correctly - I realised that what was said wasn't hogwash. Not at all.

I want to see to which extent I can stretch myself. Ironically, I still have a deep yearning for suicide. It won't fade away, this idealisation, and I don't want it to. I think I've followed my own advice relatively well, in finding meaning in suffering - meaning that makes the suffering worth it, even if I still wish for non-existence. Alas, I speaketh of a hypocrite, of whom hath a silver-bladed tongue.

 

[Lost Magic]

I believe that I have found myself being more compassionate towards other peoples struggles than I have ever felt in my life. Without basic humanity there is nothing. Through my suffering, I realised that I am not alone with these thoughts and feelings. Millions of people are struggling. I wish everybody nothing but the best in this life, or even the next. You can only do what is right for you. Peace

 

[katagiri83]

There's no inherent meaning in terms of sufferings fundamentally; in a lot of instances, people assert meanings onto sufferings as a projection of one's agency (be it true or false). In the end, vulnerabilities tend to connect people one way or another.

 

[Foresight]

I shamelessly find meaning in everything so you can imagine the meaning I've spun out of my suffering. It's quite a way to live.

 

[motel rooms]

I have glimpses of how things could have been. Which torment me. (...) I feel that my life was determined by my early circumstances and I can't escape the mould.

I can relate to all of that, that's what my life was like for more than twenty years... I wish I could come up with something profound & helpful to say.

I hope things only get better for you.

Thank you. To want more would be greedy & unrealistic for someone with my issues.

 

[rationaltake]

I can relate to all of that, that's what my life was like for more than twenty years... I wish I could come up with something profound & helpful to say.

Thanks. It's great that you get it. I was severely traumatised by every form of abuse. By the time I turned up at school I didn't even react to people and they gave me a hearing test to see if I was deaf. My hearing was fine. I was constantly on alert to see what threat was coming next.

I'm over sixty and feel it's time to end things. I have myriad personalities and several severe mental health conditions.

But you know what? I'm raging because I now have somebody I love and who loves me just as I am. I hate the body I have and I can't function. I'm in mental and physical agony. My parents ruined things for me and for the person I love.

It actually feels good to say it as it is. I apologise if this is not appropriate in the recovery section. I'm not sure how to put it in a spoiler.

Thank you. To want more would be greedy & unrealistic for someone with my issues.

I understand.