I planned to commit suicide when I turn 18, but didn't due to SI and method availability. Then I decided to kill myself when I finish high school, in hope that I find a girlfriend and be finally happy. Needless to say I didn't go through it either, the reason being that it might be easier in college. My current plan is CTB if I don't find a girlfriend before I graduate. Hopefully I will either find a girlfriend or CTB. This time I'm more confident that I'll go through it. If I still don't have a gf when I graduate, I would miss out on young love and it would forever be a void in my heart.
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,290
I have wanted to die for a long time, but yet I am still here. I never wanted to reach the age of 21, but I am trapped in this world as it is so hard to leave. If I had an easily accessible, peaceful way to exit I would be already gone. The fear of failure is what holds me back from ctb. I do not have plans to ctb in the near future, but eventually I think I will find a way when I get extremely desperate.
mistersinister
Member
- Sep 16, 2021
- 23
Postponed for 10 years, noow i'm doing it soon
Yes, I've postponed ctb many times. Still have things that I want to finish and see through.
Although to be honest, even though it's been delayed I have been slowly tweaking my plans and setting things up for later. I have the way I'll do it, the place I'll do it and the means to do all set up. Just waiting for the time I set and then I'll go.
Although to be honest, even though it's been delayed I have been slowly tweaking my plans and setting things up for later. I have the way I'll do it, the place I'll do it and the means to do all set up. Just waiting for the time I set and then I'll go.
Postponed till I lost count. I really want to believe things can get better but pain, anxiety and fear is drowning me.
NotSureToEndure
Professor of not a lot
- Aug 17, 2020
- 114
Yeah.. I made loose plans a lot, but I just don't know if I can go through with it.
I often feel like I should give life one more shot, but then I hit these negative cycles every now and then, and that's when I come back on this forum - ho hum.
I can't help but think, maybe I can survive another month, and maybe things will get better? But then i'll take a mood nosedive again at some point for sure... and the beat goes on!
I often feel like I should give life one more shot, but then I hit these negative cycles every now and then, and that's when I come back on this forum - ho hum.
I can't help but think, maybe I can survive another month, and maybe things will get better? But then i'll take a mood nosedive again at some point for sure... and the beat goes on!
Been postponing it for over a month because I'm scared. I hate myself. I want everything to be over but I'm too mentally week.
Lost Magic
Illuminated
- May 5, 2020
- 3,200
Kurinoy
I'm the rain. I'm the moonlight.
- Apr 5, 2022
- 63
magicalsarcoma
sending love to cats
- Apr 4, 2022
- 105
I also postponed suicide once, hoping for luck in one situation (and then my expectations of luck suddenly came true, by the way). Later, however, there was a new reason to end my life, and i tried to do it, but not the point
I just wanted to suggest that girls are not the best reason to live. I mean, in general, using mutual love as the main reason to live is not very reliable, especially in the long term for the reason that people are changeable/short-lived in every sense. I wanted to express the idea that, perhaps, it's better to strive for autonomy, independence from other people
I just wanted to suggest that girls are not the best reason to live. I mean, in general, using mutual love as the main reason to live is not very reliable, especially in the long term for the reason that people are changeable/short-lived in every sense. I wanted to express the idea that, perhaps, it's better to strive for autonomy, independence from other people
Maaizr
LIGHTSTEALER
- Aug 2, 2021
- 148
There's no real plan .
I acquired SN last year but I backed out because I'm afraid of the suffering bereaved . Due to Covid I would have been stacking loss after loss on my family and I decided to hold it and also because of GI issues .
I acquired SN last year but I backed out because I'm afraid of the suffering bereaved . Due to Covid I would have been stacking loss after loss on my family and I decided to hold it and also because of GI issues .
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,392
Sort of. I was planning to maybe CTB in the summer but now I might do it in early fall.
I had also actually moved my CTB up two years since I was originally gonna do it at age 30 but now age 28 seems fine with me.
I had also actually moved my CTB up two years since I was originally gonna do it at age 30 but now age 28 seems fine with me.
Before 30 is best especially if you're male. We get so damn ugly after that
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,392
DontplayGod
She/her
- Feb 6, 2022
- 123
Postponed and scheduled ahead. I've been on both sides, definitely have to say the feeling leading to postponing is absolutely devastating. Not even survival instinct, before I planned on my first attempt I suddenly have an urge to live, to live life the way people do in fairy tales. Took me until the next morning to see those feelings of wanting to live was something caused by my survival instinct and not a reality that I ever came to experience and likely won't.
roaming_soul
Member
- Dec 29, 2021
- 49
Planned, tried and failed numerous attempts years ago. I'm a sucker for pain so I felt hostage to this life until I could find a 'peaceful' method. Now my SN will be here today or tomorrow so I guess this'll be it.
